January 29, 2008
We're in the throws of potty training James, and I hate to say it, but so far not so good. For a child who's mastered all of the developmental milestones at the appropriate times (with virtually no guidance from his lazy-sack-of-a-mother), things are surprisingly different. Even the singing potty doesn't seem to help.
Yes, that's right, it's a singing potty--much different from the coffee cans that we were all trained on. It can sense when the child sits down and it's all like:
HEY THERE BIG KID, WELCOME BACK!
YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU'RE RIGHT ON TRACK!
PEE ON ME something something.
GET A PRIZE yadda yadda yadda.
EXTRA POINTS FOR NUMBER TWO!
You get the idea. It also has a victory song for successful attempts. At least that's what the box says.we haven't heard it yet.
As if the singing isn't cool enough, this potty also has a shiny silver target at the bottom of the bowl, stars that flash and sparkle when you do your business, and an automatic sticker dispenser on the side.
He just doesn't seem to get it.
He'll sit on his potty with a look of bold determination on his face, while his eyes are fixed firmly on the prize--a medium-sized Tupperware container filled to the brim with big, fat, Peanut M&Ms. He'll try with all of his might to make something happen--he'll tap his hands and feet, hum the tune to Eye of the Tiger (I taught him that), and give himself pep talks--but nothing does the trick.
And then, after he gets tired of trying, the same thing happens every time--he'll hop off his potty, pull up his Sponge Bob underoos, and resume playing. Within three minutes we'll hear a chorus of sad sobs coming from his room--after all, it's a real bummer when you pee in the bed of your dump truck.or on your newly built block tower.or in your pet greyhound's ear.
So today my dear readers, I come before you, humbly seeking your advice. One reader has shared her successful potty training technique with me, but what about the rest of you--how did you teach your kids to hit the singing target? How did you get your husband to stop eating the reward M&Ms?
James will be three in April--am I pushing him too hard? Am I letting him off the hook too easily? Should I trade him in the newer model?
I don't care if you're young or old, male or female, a parent or childless--I need some input and ideas, people. Help a girl out.