Fish Fries and Weigh-Ins

February 29, 2008

WARNING: long, long post ahead.

I feel bad for my zippers--the zippers on my pants that is. The poor fools can barely hold themselves together in the midst of my rapidly expanding waistline. It's true, I've put on a few pounds, and no matter how hard I try to meditate this weight away, it just won't budge.

The one thing that I have gained as a result of my meditation is some clarity as to why I need to special order a butt-bra. Listen to this.

When I lived in Texas, I woke up every morning, ate breakfast, and met my friend Beth for a three-and-a-half mile walk. Most of the time, I was pushing two toddlers in a double jogger while Beth managed her pregnant belly or her newborn baby. After Jared got home from school, we would eat dinner together as a family, load James into the baby jogger and go for our regular two-mile loop. Oh, and one more thing--I was running anywhere between twenty and forty miles a week last year. And lifting weights at the Y. And riding my bike every Saturday.

I can't lie, seeing that in writing makes me a little bit angry that I didn't jump on the chance to dye my hair blond and wear leotards to the grocery store.

Now let's take a moment and compare that to my life today. I wake up every morning around 5:30 and I'm out the door by six. I come to work, where I sit on my can for eight hours with the exception of an occasional trip to the water cooler, or the meeting room, or the donut plate. I usually don't take a lunch break, because seriously, I've become a guilty working mom, and I'd rather leave the office an hour earlier to see my kid than eat lunch with Robert the sewer inspection guy.

During my drive home I begin to think about how little I've been exercising these days and make a deal with myself to do a quick three miler the moment I pull into my driveway. I feel pumped, I feel excited, and then it happens.

The side door swings open, and there he is--my two-year-old son, wearing nothing but a diaper, a superhero cape, and a humongous grin. He'll usually hurl himself right into my arms and say something completely endearing like, "I messed you so much today Big Mister! Yet's pway cars." Obviously, at that point, the idea of sparing even thirty minutes to go for a run has vaporized, and I'm lying on the floor pretending to make a miniature school bus fly.

I manage to squeeze a walk or a run in every now and again, but it's nothing like it used to be. Get this, Jared had to have the shafts on our stroller wheels rebuilt yesterday because I put almost 3,000 miles on it last year and wore them down to nothing. And do you know how I reacted when he told me this news? I sh** you not, I said, "Ugh, Jared. I hope you didn't use up all of our fun money for the week by doing that, because I was planning on signing up for the fish-fry at work tomorrow!"

What can I say? I'm a New Englander and it's completely sacrilegious to say no to a fish fry. So think of me at noon today, I'll be the one balancing two tall plates and a pint of ketchup.

Fortunately, that's all of the bad, whiny news. The good news is, I've taken the reigns and found a way to address this problem. Trust me, after having a dream that your husband was sending you to Mexico to undergo discount gastric-bypass surgery against your will, you would make a change too. And yes, I honestly had that dream this week.

Maybe you're wondering what my new plan is?

Well I thought about a treadmill, but frankly, I despise treadmills and I'd rather push a city bus through a mud pit for my daily dose of exercise.

I thought about a gym membership, but honestly, I have a severe case of guilty mom syndrome and I would shrivel up in guilt if I ever had the slightest inclination to use the gym on a weekday.

So, I've made a commitment to run on the weekends, I bought a stationary trainer for my road bike that I can use at home on weeknights, and we're doing weekly weigh-ins every Monday at work. As a side note, I will be wearing a hospital gown and flip-flops to work every Monday, just to give myself an edge. In an effort to maintain motivation I'm going to cap off this new regimen with a duathlon in the spring. And I almost forget, my husband is going to make a zillion dollars during his first year in practice so I can resume my former life as a stay-at-home-mom and exercise fiend extraordinaire.

There you have it, that's my plan. Hopefully, within a month or so, I won't be forced to tuck my flop-o-gut into my jeans anymore. We'll see.

And now I'll leave you with a question. Busy people everywhere.how do you fit exercise into your schedule? Honestly, I'm perplexed.

29 comments:

Lindsey said...

Sorry Amy, sometimes it is the only thing that can give . . . So, your waistline will suffer for it. Just think, when your rich and famous, you can get a tummy tuck, and brazillian butt implants.

Rhien Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rhien Family said...

That last comment was from Jed...

Laura is still able to find time to exercise, even with her pregnant belly and toddler in a stroller...

Honestly, I've got the same reason for not exercising that you do.... I feel guilty when I exercise because it's a selfish way to use the little free time that I have at home.

kila said...

Did you mean "Exercising FEIND" or "Exercising FRIEND"?

Erin said...

Since starting on a new schedule last August I have dropped from going to the gym 3-5 times a week to once a week- If my husband bribes me with fresh bagels and coffee afterwards. My job is pretty physical so I haven't had any gain but I feel really guilty that I don't go.

Michemily said...

So somehow I forgot to notice while I was in Germany that I had gained a ton of weight. I am visiting my family for the next few weeks and I was embarrassed . . . now what to do? I already go jogging every day. Maybe it's the nutella.

Brad and Rebecca said...

mmm... I can't help you on this one. Between court TV and General Hospital at 2pm, I'm flat out booked. My plan is to keep breastfeeding my baby until she's, oh, I dunno, 4 years old, to burn the extra calories.

Krista said...

My suggestion is Powerball tickets. Lots of Powerball tickets - you can quit your job and solve all your problems.
Good luck with your actual plan as well ... I'm sure once the weather gets nicer it'll be easier to fit in walks/exercise.

Vanilla said...

I know you asked for feedback from busy people everywhere, but I'm going to respond anyway.

If I can get myself out of bed early enough I find that running in the morning is nice. Well, the morning running's not nice but knowing that when I get home I don't have to do anything is nice.

Maybe if you could get James to not be so cute when you get home. It's much easier for me to go run in the evening if I get home and the kids are throwing tantrums and fighting.

JoyFromKaty'sBoard said...

Hi, you don't know me, but I know you! I love reading your blog and just wanted to answer your question. I'm a working Mom also, with "Mommy guilt" so I don't exercise either. I do burn 500 calories a day breastfeeding! Maybe you could try to relactate! As we "speak, I'm burning those calories. How cool is that? I also wanted to add that James' speech is getting MUCH better, we don't even need a translator anymore. Thanks for the laughs!

Patty said...

Wait a minute, you mean that picking up my toddler and carrying him around doesn't count as exercise? Oh Crap...

I must say, I use to feel guilty when I would read how much you worked out on a daily basis. But now I'm full of joy knowing you have joined my *real life* mom world.

carla said...

got a two year old as well and it is a B*TCH huh?

mine looks me in the eye when Im staggering to do the stationary bike (530 am. yes she's up. I know.) and says (forehead furrowed)

MAMA BIKE?!

no honey. mama is gonna sit on he rapidly dimpling a** and eat nutrigrain bars and watch curious george now.

thanks for the motivation kid.


swing by and visit us...my site I mean :)... you might not find yer motivation but you can snark away.

Carla

htto://www.MizFitOnline.com

The Roberts' Report said...

It's good to hear you're just like the rest of us...ok "them"...the 9-5 workers that don't work out at all!! So which do you like better? Stay at home or work?

Guess what?? Baby #4 is on the way! I love having an excuse to drink chocolate milk for every meal!! =)

toad4mimi said...

When my boys were little and I couldn't seem to fit in any "real" exercise, I would turn on some great music and we would all dance our buns off. Hip Hop, Old School, it didn't matter. We would keep it up for a good half hour or so. I even made up some "dances" that involved a semblance of actual exercise moves and tried to involve all of the main muscle groups. My kids loved it, it was time together, and I could actually work up a good sweat. Really, it was fun and effective!

Good luck.

J~Mom said...

I hope that your plan works! Keep us posted. :>)

Grandma said...

clocks change next week! James can run w/ you when you get home!

Danielle said...

Honestly, it's hard. I work part time and have three small children (under the age of 6) so it's tricky to find the time, without the guilt. Luckily, I have a dog (who likes to run too) so I run at night, after the kids are in bed. Ain't nobody messin with me and my big, bad, dog!

Lisa - Slow & Steady said...

when my kids were that little, i didn't

and now i manage to sneak off in the mornings before work to get to the gym because my kids can get themselves ready for school and out the door without me.

and sometimes, when the weather is nice, i go for a run while dinner is cooking...like if I have something in the oven for 40mins, i get dressed, put it in the oven, run out the door, get back, take it out, take a shower...and serve it while my hair is wrapped up in a towel.

Lisa - Slow & Steady said...

when my kids were that little, i didn't

and now i manage to sneak off in the mornings before work to get to the gym because my kids can get themselves ready for school and out the door without me.

and sometimes, when the weather is nice, i go for a run while dinner is cooking...like if I have something in the oven for 40mins, i get dressed, put it in the oven, run out the door, get back, take it out, take a shower...and serve it while my hair is wrapped up in a towel.

tnmommy2006 said...

My work out plan? I work full time and have 3 kids under the age of 5. I recommend a house with stairs. Clothes upstairs, washing machine downstairs. Run upstairs to get clothes, hear crash - run downstairs. Realize baby gate was left open - run upstairs. Get laundry downstairs, time to put kids to bed upstairs. Suddenly all 3 kids forget how to climb stairs and must be carried. Either take 3 trips or figure out how to carry all three at once. Finally get kids to bed upstairs. Realize ice cream is downstairs. Run fast before anyone wakes up or wants to share.

Hurricane said...

Oh wow, can I totally relate to your story Amy. Living in NE doesn't help either....I don't know what you got up there but we are sitting on another 8 inches of the white stuff. I can't run on a treadmill either and outside is out of the question since I am a wimp when it comes to cold weather.
What I have been doing is DVD's. I found a 25 minute DVD that burns a ton of calories! Mostly my kids sit and watch it while I sweat my a$$ off but at least they are with me. With it being only 25 minutes, I don't have too much Mommy Guilt

Good luck!

littlebee said...

First of all, about 99% of Americans don't exercise, so I guess all us flabsters are normal!

I usually run within 45 minutes of getting home in the afternoon so I don't disturb my neighbors too much. I have new neighbors below me and I try to run within a short window in the afternoon. Some days I blow that window by staying late or by being lazy. Soon, though, I hope to run outside before I head into work. I haven't been very good about any of it lately.

Sue said...

Ok, I am FAT, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but when I WAS losing weight, and had the same dilemna, I just had to find ways to exercise that involved the kids. Jumping on the tramp is great exercise. Riding bikes with them, wrestling, doing mommy gymnastics (tossing the kids in the air, balancing them on my feet, flipping them over, stuff like that), crazy dancing in the living room. That kind of stuff all burns calories, without the guilt.

carla said...

thought about this over the weekend as I lifted some weights and blasted music so my Toddler Tornado could have a dance party while I did so

it works ok but she is hardcore into hiphop and I was more in a sheryl crow mood---but you'll have that.

swing by today if you get a sec as my monday facetime is all about why weight training will jack up our metabolisms.

I really do think you can do it at home.

and judging by yer writing and your FAMILY it will make for some fun blog entries for us.

MizFit

Few ox said...

Early morning step class at the community college. Gotta love it!

Bahston Beans said...

I heard donuts are diet food...particularly if they're delivered to your door.

Toad and Sue said...

maybe you need a reliable, superbly motivated, extremely attractive in running tights workout buddy--to bad you left yours in Texas because she has consequently expanded in size as well...
or you could try booty camp
http://www.mainebootcamp.com/

Heather said...

Hola!

I have to make a date with myself; but I'm childless (until September) for now. Can you put James in the stroller when you get home and go for a long walk? I agree, he really should try to not be so cute.

katieo said...

ditto to Vanilla.
"Maybe if you could get James to not be so cute when you get home. It's much easier for me to go run in the evening if I get home and the kids are throwing tantrums and fighting."
totally.