When Blogging and Life Collide

February 11, 2008

It's been happening more and more often--I run into real life people who avidly read my blog. Don't get overexcited here, folks. It's not like I walk into the Piggly Wiggly and I'm bum rushed by adoring fans--"Oh my stars! There she is! It's the real Amy Lawson and she's wearing her green puffy vest!" That's never happened, and it probably never will. You see, if I ever get that famous, I'm totally springing for a new coat--with sleeves.

The truth is, I've moved back to New England, and I'm spending quite a bit of time in my hometown, around people I've known forever. And every so often, I'll run into an old friend or a casual acquaintance who's stumbled across the link to my site. When they tell me they love my blog, it's usually exciting for .48 seconds, and then the thrill takes a fast, sharp, unstoppable turn toward humiliation.

They're like, "No need for an update. I know everything that's going on in your life."

That's when my face gets flushed, the nervous pee trickles down my leg, and I respond with something like, "That's great, thanks for reading. Yes, I actually did marry a man with a sharting problem."

The blog/life crash phenomenon is on my mind this happy Monday because I had an incident yesterday morning, and it could have been the worst one yet. You see, my middle school music teacher, who happens to be one of the loveliest ladies on the face of the planet, is in my church congregation. It's really very strange considering the fact that we're in a completely different state than the one I went to school in, we've been back for six-or-so weeks and haven't run into each other yet, and she's married to my high school gym teacher. I was like, "Hi Coach D. I still stink at volleyball and I still can't do a pull-up, so let's just leave it alone, ok?"

I can't lie, I was thrilled to see them both. Absolutely nothing beats the sight of an old familiar face after living in Texas for four years. After the service, I walked up to Mrs. D, gave her a big fat hug, and proceeded to introduce her to my scruffy-looking family. I was all, "You remember my husband! And this is James..."

Mrs. D bent down, smiled at James and said, "I know all about you! I read your Mommy's blog all the time!"

As usual, I smiled in excitement, and after .48 seconds my face morphed into one of those I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST RAN OVER MY BAD TOE WITH A BICYCLE IF YOU WEREN'T MY MOTHER-IN-LAW I'D KNOCK THE WIND OUT OF YOU type of smiles. But I smiled through the pain, and we had the following conversation...

ME: Wow, cool! How'd you come across my site? (I was really thinking, "Let that lighting fixture fall on my head right now, Dear Lord! Just do something!")

MRS D: Something, something, something...

ME: Oh yeah, we're thrilled to be back home! Happier than ever! ("But as you know, I still have that lingering self-esteem problem that started fifteen years ago. Some things never change!")

MRS D: Something, something, something...

ME: Yes, I'm very proud of Jared...what a man! ("Listen...we both know that we'll be paying off that student loan debt until 2049. Marry a doctor. Never a med student.")

MRS D: Something, something, something...

ME: That's right! My little James just loves to sing! ("....and poop in his pants. Even though he's the size of a second grader.")

And so on and so forth. Then, during Sunday school, we were blessed with a lovely lesson which touched on the topic of profane language. During the lesson, Jared would periodically pass me a post-it note that said something like, "Your teacher knows you like to say *ss." And I'd pass one back that said something like, "One more comment and I'm blogging about that bed wetting thing." The notes stopped.

Now I'm totally in the mood for my ten year reunion.

18 comments:

Vanilla said...

I have several friends and family that read my blog now, and it NEVER occurs to me that they are reading it while I'm writing my posts. Usually, 2 or 3 days after I post something I have an "Oh Crap!" epiphany where I realize that so-and-so read this.

Cheryl said...

I feel your pain. The husband of a friend of mine from church came up to me a couple of weeks ago and commented about something on my blog. I almost died of embarrassment! (And my blog is very tame compared to yours.)

akshaye said...

You gotta love it though. High school teachers are amongst the category (which includes relatives, friends, neighbors and anyone I know) that for some stupid reason my brain just assumes will never get online/read the junk I write!

But still, the appeal of Piggly Wiggly fame is too powerful to worry about this stuff :)

Grandma said...

Hi Mrs. D!!!xo

Hilary said...

Oh ditto what Vanilla said. I have those moments all the time.. with family mostly.

No doubt they all love your humour and still want to talk to you in spite/because of it. :)

littlebee said...

Aw, heck. I'm a teacher and I read blogs all the time! :)

Amy, seriously, your blog is fine! People probably love you all the more for it because you've become "real" for them by giving them this opportunity to see you in a different light. Kind of like seeing your high school teacher grocery shopping or out on a date with his or her significant other. It's not a big deal!

Adri said...

You know, we'll be staying with Mr. and Mrs. D for a few weeks this summer. Maybe we'll bump into you. (If you're still there.) Don't write about anything too embarrassing between now and then. I don't want any awkward moments. :)

Amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rob & Katy said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Busted, Amy! Sorry about that delete- I was logged in as you...

Kadi, John and girls said...

The Lawsons are crazy and these posts are all I need to prove it in a court of law. Jarred run while there is still time!

P.O.M. said...

I feel the pain too. I forget that my family reads my blog. Well, everyone but my mother (thank God). I have to be careful to not talk crap about people, becuz I am easily irritated and like to share it on my blog.

Amy said...

Glad I'm not the only one that this happens to!

Adri..I'll try to keep it tame so we have no embarrassing moments :o)

Akshaye...Thanks for the encouraging words. I'll keep my eyes on the PigglyWiggly prize.

Hi Mrs. D!!!! See you at Church!

carla said...

Ive been there as well with my personal blog.
and sometimes when I meet pre-blog-real-life friends for coffee I find Ive got NOTHING they dont already know.

not that I started with much to begin with.

Carla

The Carrie Collection said...

Nothing makes me happier than someone reading my blog. I just feign oblivion to the fact that it's possible they've seen semi-nude pictures of me, elementary school photos or that they know I pee my pants occasionally and am ghetto enough to post a picture of me making out. There's somthing about being ridiculously honest and open that is so liberating. You don't have to pretend as much at family gatherings anymore. Everyone already knows.

Mrs. Furious said...

Let's just say this happens to me... and what I have to always wonder about the mother of my high school friend, or whomever else it maybe, "so did you take my sex poll... and if so... does it weird you out to know that I know you have sex or does it weird you out to know that I have it?" Because it does in fact weird me out.
I also have weird local moms who treat me like a celebrity at playgroup and talk to me using "Mrs F" and not my real name... so freaking bizarre...and all I want to do is go home and post about how crazy they are and of course I can't. Nothing is more awkward than walking into a room of people who think they "know" you (and maybe in fact they do) but you know nothing about them. I often wish I had kept it totally anonymous.

Laura said...

No, freaky is writing about your "personal" life and forgetting your DAD reads your blog. Fortunately he's good enough to not ever mention it to me. Unfortunately my stepmother is not. So I've had to burn half of my "tagged-you're-it-so-come-up-with-7-crappy-things list!

Jill said...

I made the mistake of giving my blog adress to a friend whom I used to work with. She still works there, and now I want to blog about some things that happened at work, and I don't think I can because the people I want to write about might see it.

Minnie said...

This is a very real fear of mine. There are few people that I know "in real life" that are aware of my blog. Those who do are big drinkers anyway, I'm hoping they'll forget to "pop in"
I was cringing for you as I read this.