A Day in the Life

April 2, 2008

I know, I know. It’s been almost a week since my last post. That’s a record for me.

I hope you’ll forgive me for my recent lack of activity, because things have been straight-up crazies in this corner of the world. Not only have we moved into our new house, but Jared’s practice is so close to completion that I can almost taste the BioFreeze. On top of that I’m transitioning to a different job (fewer hours, better pay!), and I’m not really sure where my two-year-old is--but rest assured, he’s bound to turn up somewhere.

Other interesting tidbits in my life are as follows:

My childhood home is going on the market today. After 25 years of faithful service, my Mom and Dad have decided to hang a “For Sale” sign and move on to greener pastures. I’ll miss that place, and all of the happy memories--I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I snuck out that second story window and shimmied down the drainpipe in the dead of the night.

Good news on the Lawson front. My brother-in-law is now engaged to the girl of my dreams, and I couldn’t be happier! They’ve been dating for almost a year, which is ridiculously long for us Mormon folks. Seriously, if they had followed the Standard Mormon Timetable (SMT—it’s a real thing) their one-year anniversary would be just around the corner and they’d already have a carseat in the back of their Corolla. But who am I to speak? If I had followed the SMT, I’d have a baby in my bed and a fetus in my belly. All I've got is an almost-three-year-old who has an ongoing love affair with diapers.

My friend Vanilla over at Half-Fast recently wrote a blog post about those slick, slimy, target-on-their-arse people the world likes to call chiropractors. Let me tell you, it was so funny that I laughed for a couple of hundred of thousands of seconds--you know, a second for every dollar of student loan debt that Jared is in as a result of chiropractic school. My response to Vanilla's post is simple: I RUN FASTER THAN YOU. MUCH FASTER, IN FACT.

April Fools Day sucked. My friend walked into my office and slapped a florescent green parking ticket on the edge of my desk. “Twenty-five bucks,” he said. I shot him the classic ‘I’m a city-employee, and I’m not amused by you’ look and said, “Mmmmm hmmmm,” assuming it was an April Fools trick. Well, it wasn’t. Based on that experience, I’d like to extend the following message to Officer Friendly: I USED TO THINK YOU WERE SO HOT THAT YOUR UNIFORM WOULD FIZZLE OFF YOUR FRAME. NOW I THINK YOU’RE JUST A LITTLE BIT TOO PUDGY.

I was in a strange mood last night and had the irresistible urge to spend money on cheap crap, so I went to the best cheap crap store on the Eastern sea board--the Christmas Tree Shop. When I walked through the automatic doors, my eyes immediately fell upon a fake bird, in a fake cage, that chirped a fake song. Two associates, one ladder, and $1.99 later, I was the proud new owner of a creepy little styrofoam pigeon. I already threw him away--that bird sucked and I hated it.

And that's that troops--a day in the life of Amy. Have a good one!