April 7, 2008
People have been staring at me lately. Perhaps it's the cartoon caption that's been lazily floating over my head for the last few months. It says: SHE HASN'T DONE HER TAXES YET. I've gotten 1,001 email reminders from Turbo Tax, I've heard the H&R Block commercials on the radio, and honestly, I wish they'd all just put a lid on it. I'm well aware that I'm an unmotivated sack of procrastination, and I certainly don't need some voice-over rubbing lemonade in the wound over and over and over again.
Whenever the tax topic comes up in conversation, people tend to have the same reaction: "You haven't done your taxes yet? Wow, you must owe some money this year!"
Well, not exactly. Thanks to the fact that Jared and I were both graduate students, parents to an afro puff with legs, and ridiculously broke in 2007, we're actually getting a pretty sizable refund. Based on our situation, we're able to deduct our educational expenses, we qualify for some kind of Earned Income Credit, the Child Tax Credit, and I'm not totally sure on this, but I think we're also eligible for the '89 Blazer Credit and the Damn Girl! Get Yourself a New Pair of Jeans! Credit.
Just like 97.8% of my fellow countrymen, I could really use a four-digit check from Uncle Sam. After all, there are bills to pay, birthday presents to buy, and Ding-Dongs to purchase. But unlike 97.8% of my American brothers and sisters, I haven't carved out the ninety minutes that are necessary to claim my small fortune.
If you're super responsible and filed your return on January 2nd, then puh-lease spare me the comments that express ideas like: "You could have earned interest on that money!" or "You just made a short-term loan to the government!" Have you ever stopped to consider that fact that I prefer to have an anorexic balance in my checking account? Perhaps I'm a generous person and it fills me up with love when I let the feds have temporary access to my rightful cash. Chew on that, people. Chew on that.
Fortunately, our most recent credit card bill in combination with the looming April 15th deadline has lit one hell of a campfire under my tooter, and I'm ready to buckle down and claim some cash. Yahooters for doing taxes!
So my question of the day is this...Are there any other dilly-dallying tax slugs out there? If so, give me a shot of self-esteem and make yourselves known.