Art Rhymes with Fart--Maybe That's Why I Like It

August 27, 2008

My life isn't all about processed foods and reality TV--really, it's not.

Yes, I do try my best to make it appear that way, but if you want the honest-to-goodness truth--and I can't believe I'm about to share this with you--our television broke three or four months ago, and we haven't gotten around to replacing it yet. I'm sure we'll take the plunge and buy a new one when The Office comes back in the fall, but in the mean time I'm perfectly happy to live my life with a television that produces sound only on occasion.

My second confession circles back to the processed food thing. Yes, I absolutely do love generic cheese balls. And yes, I ate an entire bag of said cheese balls this past weekend, but they're actually not the staple of my diet. I mostly consume things like apples, and whole grain cereal, and veggie burgers, and beans, and--actually, I'll stop now. That's enough exposure for today.

The reason I included that little disclaimer is because the subject of today's post is art--and that's a topic that I didn't think I could simply switch gears and start writing about. I was concerned that you might lose your bearing on the world and think, "Whoa there just a minute! Art?! I was under the impression that her house was totally decorated with posters of half-naked men!"

Um, no. I'm afraid not. That's just my office. And my half of the garage.

Truth be told, I have a major thing for locally produced art--and I'm not talking about the crafty shizzles you buy at your neighborhood fair. I love paintings, and sculpture, and hot damn I felt lame even typing that.

Other than the fact that my great-grandfather was a well-known folk-painter here in Maine, I really can't figure out where this fascination comes from. On second thought, I read a book about my great-grandfather a few years ago and learned that he painted a ton of nude portraits of the same woman--who was speculated to be a nun. Clearly the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, so maybe that is where my interest comes from.

I'm feeling excited today because I decided to use some extra pocket money to sign up for a course with one of my very favorite local artists. Trust me folks, it took a major dose of self control to stop myself from using the cash to buy Guitar Hero and an industrial sized bag of Twizzlers. I consider this a major victory.

So stayed tuned for photos of some very mediocre art projects by yours truly. And in the mean time, you can rest assured that I will never understand Shakespearean theater--I honestly believe there is far more cultural value in any Will Ferrell film. That man is a genius.


Keli said...

You totally would have gotten a fuller cultural experience with Guitar Hero. If you sprang for Rock Band, you might have even been able to add pHD to your resume.

I'm just sayin'.

Cheryl said...

Well, now you've gone and destroyed my image of you as a real Maine redneck. This will take some getting used to.

Bahston Beans said...

I'd like to place a bid if there is a velvet Elvis available for purchase.

joolee said...

Posters of half naked men on your half of the garage!!??? Just me again....the girl who can't resist repeating her favorite bits of your posts in the comment section. I've heard you have to repeat something so many times before it is committed to your long term memory, and so, here I am. Repeating to myself so i can whip out some lawson humor at precisely the right moment. And possibly pass it off as my own;)

P.S. I'm thinking of having a beltless baseboard scrubbing party next weekend so me and all my friends have an excuse to use "Ahem, attention all partygoers! You are now going to see the crack of my ass!" *tears of laughter* I fear that one may never get old. We may even get crazy and take pictures to post on our blogs!!:)

Michemily said...

"Art" and "fart" reminds me of a prank essay I turned in with a bunch of friends once. (We were 17, though, wink, wink.) We compared "art" with "smart" and talked about how they had different meanings even though they rhymed. We never knew our teacher's reaction, but we sure thought it was hilarious and I'm cracking up just thinking about it. Maybe I'll post it on my blog some day.

Heather of the EO said...

Actually not having a tv, being cool with that, and liking art just make you even coooooler. Combine your cultured self and your "art rhymes with fart" self and you've got a masterpiece!

joolee said...

Me again.....just wanted you to be you don't totally freak out when you get like 3 more readers today.....I just posted something with approximately 26 links to your blog. Hope that's OK.

Grandma said...

Did you toss that easel that was in w/ your stuff?..You could have used it to look official!

Maraiya said...

I gave you an award. Hope you like it.

Our Little World said...

That's cool Amy...taking an art class. And don't worry, you didn't have me fooled! ;-)