Hardly Working

August 15, 2008

I'm working as Jared's sexy front desk girl this morning, and I swear to the heavens above that I'm gonna get myself fired by noon--which is fine, because it's only 10:45 and I'm totally starving.

Deep in my soul, I feel like I'm capable of handling this job every Friday--but my word, I'm having a hard time getting my act together. This morning alone I was late, my outfit has failed to meet the standard office dress code, I'm blogging, and I keep calling my husband "Jared" instead of "Dr. Lawson."

I'm like, "Excuse me Jared, Ms. Smith has finished filling out her new patient paperwork."

And Jared kind of mutters, "Call me doctor, not Jared."

And I forcefully pull him aside by the arm and whisper, "Um...Seriously, let's save the far fetched bedroom fantasies for home. You've got work to do."

It's bad. Jared instructed me to charge a woman for a "97124," and I really had no idea what he was talking about, so I made my best guess and said, "That will be 971 dollars and 24 cents." Meanwhile, I was logging on to Gap.com to pick out a few new things--because seriously, if people are paying that much for chiropractic care, I can certainly splurge on a fabulous wool sweater.
In reality "97124" is a code for some kind of physical therapy procedure, and the lady has a plain old fifteen dollar copay.
Well, damn. That was a bit of a let down.


The Roberts' Report said...

Well what can I say...just don't puke on the keyboard and maybe, just maybe, you won't get fired.

Minnie said...

I say take a two hour lunch and come back to the office, chat with your girlfriends on the phone, and then punch out early.

Jon said...

I could really go for a 97124 right now. I have a knot in my paraspinal muscles that is driving me crazy.

Robinson's said...

Hilarious! LOL!
I have been blog stalking you for awhile, you have got great wit. Keep it up.

Vanilla said...

You better be careful. There was a girl in our office who was always late, inappropriately dressed, and blogged from work. Pretty soon there were rumors that she hadn't been fired because she was sleeping with the boss, and I don't think you want everyone in the office thinking that. ;)

chattypatra said...

Jeez, Amy, you're such a slacker! What will your boss think? He might have to punish you and spank you...or something like that.

Oh, wait...that's how...nevermind.


Grandma said...

I can hear the small town scandal now...."the receptionist is expecting and Dr. Lawson is the father." Well...with the copay you can score something from TJ Maxx clearance.

J~Mom said...

My hubby and I worked together during our college days. It just wasn't pretty. No it wasn't.

Amy said...

Sounds to me like you are exactly meeting the standard practices of most receptionists I've known.

JAMIE RBZ said...

You never fail to slay me!! (and my husband who I share your blog with frequently!).

My BIL and SIL are in the same place that you and your husband are, struggling trying to make the chiropractic thing work! It's tough, and you keep such a good attitude. I guess humor really CAN get you through the toughest times. You are awesome!

Maraiya said...

Good thing you're sleeping with the boss. And you pregnant with his love child.

You could always resort to blackmail if he fires you. Then you could buy those cute items from the GAP.

Marc and Megan said...

I worked for an audiologist for three years... and you totally nailed what a regular work day was like for me! The Dr. wasn't my husband and I'd still call him by his first name. He *hated* that!

Amy, you're honestly one of my favorite people!! Love ya!!

Heidi said...

I once worked as my dad's front office girl, and let's just say nepotism was all that stood between me and being fired.

Seriously, I was that bad.

nevadanista said...

My daughter just asked me why I'm laughing. I was really feeling you when you said you were ready to get fired by noon! Every summer (we own a seasonal business) we decide that I will take on some paperwork duties. This year I was slated to be working from home for several hours a day. I was very excited at the prospect of helping out and saving money on a secretary, until about two hours into my first day. I surfed at least 90 minutes out of the 120, and it didn't take long to get fired again :)

You're very funny!