Grown Up Fun

January 23, 2009

Now that I'm a firm 28 years old, and decidedly past my quarter-life crisis, there are so many things that I completely love about being a grown-up.

For example, one of my closest childhood friends is a dentist right here in Maine. She and her also-a-dentist husband own their own practice and bring home approximately four gazillion dollars a month. They live in an enormous old house with secret rooms and maids'-quarters, and honestly, it's nothing short of radical.

Trust me, there are some raging games of hide n' seek going on in that house--after the kids are sleeping, of course. Now don't you worry about the children feeling left out--they're not coordinated enough to wear the moon shoes anyway.

Much like me, this friend absolutely stinks at managing the responsibility of a cell phone--drops it, kicks it, accidentally wipes with it--you know, the works. So it's almost impossible to get hold of one another--which stinks when you all of the sudden come up with the best idea in the history world.

And last week I did.

So I said, "Screw the cell phone! I'm a grown-up! I'm calling Meghan at work!"

This is how it went down...

RECEPTIONIST: Hello! This is the dentist office! Can I help you?
ME: Yes. This is Amy calling from Dr. Lawson's office. I need to speak with Dr. Baker and it's urgent.
RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry but Dr. Baker is with a patient, can I take a message?
ME: I said it was urgent.
RECEPTIONIST: Can I put you through to the office manager?
ME: (in an exasperated tone) Fiiiiiine.

So the office manager, who also happens to be Dr. Baker's brother, picks up the line...

OFFICE MANAGER: Hello! This is Brandon!
ME: Bran, it's Amy, your receptionist sucks. I seriously need to talk to your sister right now. Are you dating anyone yet?
OFFICE MANAGER: No, not dating anyone. Hold on.

And then I finally, finally got to speak with the woman in charge...

MEGHAN: Hello, this is Dr. Baker.
ME: Go stand in your supply closet.
MEGHAN: Okay, I'm in.
ME: What's up biiiiiiitch?!
MEGHAN: Oh, not much. You know, doing a root canal biiiiiitch!
ME: So I had this idea. You should come to my house this weekend and pay for my lunch.
MEGHAN: Only if we can take the kids to WalMart and get their pictures taken with the most hideous backgrounds ever.
ME: Only if we leave food on their faces and dress 'em up ugly and make sure they're completely overtired.
MEGHAN: Deal.

Told you it was important.

Things like this make me love being a full fledged grown-up. Back when I was still 23, still struggling with who I was and what I wanted to do with my life, I never would have dreamed of steppeing out of a meeting to text my husband that: WE NEED OLIVES FROM THE STORE. U R HOT. But now that I'm an adult there's simply no question--when you need pizza toppings, you need pizza toppings...even if it is during the middle of an Executive Committee meeting.

I'm no longer intimidated by adults--turns out they're all just as broke and amused by potty humor as I am.

And if they're not? I'll just call them at the office and make fun of 'em for it.

I love being a grown-up.