A Super Sweet Giveaway!

June 13, 2009

I don't do giveaways--mostly because I stink at going to the post office.

But guess what? I'm about to do a giveaway!

Based on the emails spilling out of my inbox this morning, there are many people in many parts of this country who love a good whoopie pie. As such, the winner of the giveaway will win not one, but two whoopie pies from the best whoopie pie bakery in the whole, wide world.

All you have to do is this: Leave a comment on this post that successfully incorporates four of the following words.

Orange Juice
Barbie Doll
Light Bulb
Beach House

There's a two sentence maximum, my favorite comment wins (totally fair), and the contest ends Monday night at 8pm Eastern Standard Time.

Now go!


Krista said...

To try a whoopie pie - I'm in!

"My daughter's Barbie Doll was riding her hairy piglet Webkinz across the breakfast table this morning when she knocked over a full glass of orange juice and soaked herself. Thankfully, this was not all bad news as Barbie's hair was still standing on end from the static electricity involved when she unsuccessfully attempted to change the light bulb in her beach house while standing IN her Malibu pool last night."

Erin said...

My boys (who hate Barbie Dolls) are sitting on the couch drinking orange juice (with sippy cups so they don't spill) while watching Piglet's Big Movie (a perennial favorite), and occasionally they stop to laugh about the fact that adults have hairy armpits (they are six and four - you've gotta love their sense of humor)(I love parentheses).

Okay, so that's one long run-on sentence. You would think I made it up, but I actually made them do all of these things so there would be an element of truth to it. (Except for the hairy armpit part...they totally talk about hairy armpits all on their own.) I've been a blurker, but I'm coming out of blurkdom to say hi. And to tell you the truth, because I have never had a whoopie pie and pretty much anything food related will make me come out of blurkdom.

Erin said...

So, Beach House Barbie Doll was sitting with her Hairy Piglet drinking Orange Juice when she heard a little Static and the Light Bulb above her head burst into flames…it was going to be a very bad day.

AMiller said...

This hairy piglet went to the market; this hairy piglet stayed at the beach house; this hairy piglet had orange juice; this hairy piglet had none. And this hairy piglet - this hairy piglet cried, "whoopie pie, whoopie pie, whoopie pie," all the way home.

(It really is better if you read it out loud - and yes, I have toddlers)

Sarah said...

This will be one hairy comment, when I am done incorporating all these required words--oh, wait, I just had a light bulb moment-- like Oprah-- If I want to look like a Barbie doll at our beach house this summer I shouldn't be leaving this comment at all, but I should be drinking my orange juice; yet for one of those whoopie pies I think I don't really care if I look like a little piglet(If you know me that's a shock of static proportions)

p.s. don't you think that those pies, really need to find their way to dallas????

Lindsey said...

Oh man. . I SUCK at being funny on other people's terms!!! So, since I SUGGESTED the giveaway do I get honorable mention anyway? I mean, you ARE going to the post office already! :) LOVE ME.

Alright, I'll try.

I hate it when you got to the beach house and leave the orange juice out because it gets hairy piglets in it. (You didn't say it had to make sence)

Damn the barbies who burnt out the light bulbs at the beach house and left out the orange juice for the hairy piglets to get into in the first place!!!

Anonymous said...

I'll take the bait- I like a good wordy challenge (and whoopie pie...)

My hairy legs did nothing to abate the static my pants held this morning while working out. The resident "Barbie Doll" in the class kept giving me crusty looks as I tried to kick my piglet-esq/static prone legs.

Ray, Brandi and Our Girls said...

My husband nicknamed me hairy piglet because when I drink Orange Juice at our Hampton Beach House I get static that makes my hair as big as the tangled weave of my daughter's Barbie doll. This makes him so excited he yells Whoopie (Pie) while we're getting in on...in the Hampton Beach house with the broken light bulb.

Kris said...

Because I'm five months pregnant, I consider it my duty to be a little piglet, which makes me want those whoopie pies. We are renting a beach house this summer, I'm not looking anywhere close to a Barbie Doll and my legs are hairy because I can't bend over far enough to shave them.

Allison said...

I was feeling like a hairy piglet this morning, so I decided to drink some orange juice. Wonder if it will make me barbie doll thin...

Mel said...

My really hairy Barbie doll gave you some orange juice at the beach house. Good thing she's a blonde and didn't know that the static would make the light bulb burn out anyhow so you couldn't see her give it to you.

wow that sucked, I'm not going to win :P I've never had a whoopie pie and I think I'm missing out.

Kelly O. said...

A woman with very bad static was having her haircut when the hairdresser moved the lamp over for a better view and cut too quick only to find the lightbulb got hairy. Within seconds the hair began to smolder and singe and the only thing close enough to put it out was a big glass of orange juice.

ta da!!!

Reenie's World said...

Trying to use all of them is kind of fun:

As Mrs. PIGLET arrived at the BEACH HOUSE she embarrassingly tugged at her skirt since her neglect to add a dryer sheet to the laundry had produced enough STATIC cling to spark a LIGHT BULB. The handsome, yet suprisingly HAIRY stranger merely chuckled as the forgotten BARBIE DOLL by his side sipped her ORANGE JUICE.

You did say using four, so: The hairy piglet drank some orange juice then peed on the barbie doll.

Hurricanehol said...

This one time at band camp, instead of screwing the hairy piglet that played with Barbie Dolls next to me, I went to the beach house to be with my boyfriend. After I did that, I drank a cup of orange juice, changed the light bulb and went to bed.

whirled_peas said...

I know you said "sentences", but I just felt compelled to Haiku. Enjoy!

Orange juice stains on clothes
Hairy legs and static cling
Beach house here I come

Catherine M. said...

During the cowtown marathon I wiped my piglet with Matt’s glove before the light bulb went off and I noticed the static cars with Barbie doll drivers gaping at my hairy arse.

Thinking of you Amy... and Matt wondered why I didn't bring his glove back...

Mary said...

There was static in the air; you could almost taste the electricity and the hair on my hairy pet piglet was standing on end. Suddenly every light bulb in the beach house exploded; my orange juice toppled over, drenching the Barbie doll on the floor. AND THEN …..

Alisha said...

Just wanted to let you know how much I love your blog and enjoy the many laughs it brings, especially on the most stressful days. Thanks. And here's my lame attempt at your challenge.

I said to my mother, "My daughter decided to leave a Barbie doll head in my orange juice and now it's all hairy." Because of the static, she heard, "My daughter decided to leave Barbie Midol in my horse shoes and now it smells berry."

The Roberts' Report said...

I wish the Barbie Doll was more of a piglet like me...with hairy legs, orange juice spilled on her shirt and a skirt riding up between her legs because of that nasty static cling. Maybe then, I would feel the need to stick a light bulb up her ass and light her beach house on fire.

(do I get 10 points for using ALL of the words? and the word ASS as a bonus?)

Kelsi said...

How many beach house Barbie dolls does it take to screw in a hairy lightbulb? None, just one pig(let) contemplating how many orange juice and vodka it will take to make “static” with her.

Lame…shrug :)

The static created by the hairy piglet ignited a light bulb in the Barbie dolls brain, instigating orange juice wrestling at the beach house for whoopie pies.

Stick a fork in me..

seven said...

I have an aunt & uncle named Barbie and Ken (yup, like the Barbie doll!) and they have twelve kids. People always ask me if their kids have names like Skipper and Piglet and if they live in a beach house, but I always ask them, "Don't you think having twelve kids is a hairy enough ordeal without bringing all that extra static into the scene?"

(I actually do have an aunt and uncle named Barbie and Ken, and they really do have twelve kids, and people really do ask me if their names are Skipper and Stacy, etc.)

happygeek said...

I have a hairy Barbie doll with static issues. But then I had a lightbulb moment "Acid will fix it" so Barbie is having an orange juice bath.

Rachel said...

The HAIRY PIGLET eagerly consumed ORANGE JUICE and a voluptuous BARBIE DOLL while hopped up on STATIC from a low lying LIGHT BULB at the BEACH HOUSE.

That's ALL the words in ONE sentence!

Hilary said...

He: "I'll fire up the Barbie, Doll, if you don't mind fixing my static martini.

Making her way to the beach house, she realized that one key ingredient was missing, but soon had a light bulb moment and substituted orange juice instead - and with that, the Hairy Piglet was born.

Laura said...

I take my piglet outside every morning while I sit on the deck of my beachhouse to drink my orange juice. Her hairy back makes the tv have static and the lightbulbs blink inside.

Laura said...

Or, how about:

My kids spilled the freaking Orange juice on my hairy piglet this morning, which shorted out the light bulbs. I'm moving to my beach house in cozumel and not taking ANY of them with me, unless I swipe the kids favorite barbie doll on the way out to drive their dad nuts while I'm gone.

mom of boys said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mom of boys said...

Ya know, my husbands beyond hairy eyebrows produces enough static electricity to power a light bulb at our beach house. It does nothing to turn me on though, and leaves me having more desire to drink orange juice with a piglet than in getting it on like a hot barbie doll.

(extra points for using ALL the words?)

Heather of the EO said...

Oh how I love me some whoopie.


I was hanging at my beach house this weekend. It was GRAND. Early Saturday morning I was sippin' my OJ, totally oblivious to the hairy spider crawling up the light bulb. Until I saw him. I totally saw him!

I thought, "How come he isn't frying his spider legs off?"

Then there was this sound, it was like static. I looked closely and saw it...the spider, he suddenly looked exactly like Piglet from Winnie the Pooh!!!

Weird, absolutely NO long legs. Just TWO short ones.

I took my Barbie Doll, cracked myself over the head with it and said, "Holy cow, people. I'm so glad I hate spiders. This one just lost his legs."

The End.

Sandy M. said...

Down here in Oz
Hangin' at the beach
House full of light
Bulb sized peach
Tasting very orange
Juice just right
While we're cooking up the Barbie
Doll, there's ain't no static
Listening to our R'n B
Hairy piglet chops.... ?

Amateur Steph said...

I've never had a whoopie pie.

And I'm not sure how in the Hairy Barbie Doll I'm supposed to use all those words in two sentences. I guess I'll just have to head to my non-existant orange beach house to juice my brain into thinking about piglets gyrating slowly to the sound of static while sucking on light bulbs .

Samye said...

Hey Amy. Hope all is well.

Tell my hairy-headed friend Jared that I miss our invigorating chats about biology and anatomy that he loved but that usually left me reeling like a Barbie Doll with static shock and the rancid, orange-juice-like taste of bile in my mouth.

Miss you two! Go Red Sox (and Rangers).


Riley said...

I dreamt that STATIC caused by the LIGHT BULB at the BEACH HOUSE made my daughters HAIRY BARBIE DOLL squirt ORANGE JUICE out her PIGLET nose.

Orange Juice
Barbie Doll
Light Bulb
Beach House

Patricia said...

As the light bulb went out with a static jolt, the hairy piglet devoured the barbie doll, leaving nothing but a pool of spit the color of orange juice.

Chrissy said...

My hairy piglet spilled orange juice in the beach house.

The Other Ashley said...

The Barbie Doll's legs were so hairy, she generated enough electricity to power small beach house. After nicking her legs while attempting to shave, she had a lightbulb moment, burned her bra, threw away her razors and decided to leave things static quo.

Anonymous said...

I can't compete with AMiller (HA!), but here are a couple haikus anyway:

hairy my legs are
all this laundry has static
I need a beach house

to sip orange juice
in the sand like a piglet
not a barbie doll

Rhien Family said...

Hairy Beachouse Barbie- Now only $12.99. Comes complete with pet piglet and white trash scent for you and barbie to share.

Lauren said...

When Piglet returned home to his beach house and found the light bulb had burnt out, he stumbled through the dark and came across something hairy. Come to find out, old Tigger had been hitting the juice (not your average orange juice) and was in a compromising position with a Barbie doll.

Cheryl said...

OK, I absolutely don't need to be eating any whoopie pies, but can't resist a good word challenge.

So, I was rubbing a lightbulb on this hairy Barbie doll, which created quite a lot of static. Unfortunately, my friend piglet was drinking his morning orange juice in my beach house, and the static made him explode and spill his juice.

Ta da!

erin j bailey said...

If a six-year-old girl were to reenact my life she would pull out of her toy box one hairy man doll (the hubby), one flat-chested preteen barbie doll (yours truly--because of looks, not age), and two little Piglets with orange juice mustaches (the trouble). She would then make preteen barbie and hairy man doll moan in agony because the first little piglet flooded the barbie beach house by flushing his own underroos down the toilet and baby piglet got static hair from scooting his belly all over the carpet and licking all things electrical.

True story.

I think I'm too late, but oh well, I guess you can't miss what you've never had.

Tanwon said...

When I was young I believed that loosing too much weight would cause hairy armpits – and as a shallow person I obviously had a dilemma since I wanted to be as hairless as Piglet and as skinny as Barbie Doll. My penchant for Orange juice however (with its high sugar content) has prevented such a dream, but the static generated when my thighs rub together is enough to power a light bulb in this dreary beach house that I live in – won’t you send me a whoopie pie to make it all better?

jennie w. said...

"My brand new Piglet Barbie Doll is broken!", my daughter cried (though I am so used to her whining that her voice is more like static in my brain).

"Just go melt it on the light bulb until it's a hairy puddle of plastic and we'll sculpt ourselves a new Barbie", I replied.

Weak, sorry. But I really want whoopie pies.

Anonymous said...

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