Vanity Sizing

December 16, 2009

Banana Republic has the most ridiculous vanity sizing I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing.

Clearly I am a size 10 (size 8 after a nine-day stomach flu), and clearly I'm okay with that. But when I go to Banana Republic? Size 6.

Size. 6.

I'm 5'8" and weigh 150 at my hottest. I weight 155 when I'm going through a donut phase, and when I happen to weigh in at 145 I can often be heard saying things like, "Dude, Cindy Crawford has totally let herself go," and "I think I'll take a trip back to the old Alma Mater and slut around the cafeteria for a little while."

In other words, 145 is my knock-em-dead-I'm-too-hot-for-my-own-good weight. 145 is when I whip out my favorite skirt from my college days--you know, the one my mom put through the wash, hung on the clothes line and said, "That's a really cute neck warmer, Amy."

And I said, "That's not a neck warmer, it's a skirt."

And she said, "You're grounded."

And I said, "You're jealous."

And she said, "You're still grounded."

And guess what size that skirt is. That's right! I don't remember what size that skirt is. But I can abslo-friggin-lutely guarentee that it's not a size 6, and that was never a problem for me. Back in the day the boys didn't care what size that little number was, all they wanted to do was pull that skirt off my bum, poke a couple of eye holes, and wrap it around the exposed skin on their faces so they could go snowmobiling.

I know, Maine is weird.

All I'm saying is this: Girls who are 68 inches tall and weigh 150 pounds are not a size 6, they're a size 10. And dude, that's cool.

But at Banana Republic? Size. 6.

Ridiculous.

RIDICULOUS!

And that is why I will continue to pay obscene amounts of money to purchase my jeans from that fine institution. When I'm above my donut weight, nine weeks post-partum, and comfortably wearing a size 6 jean? Well that's just priceless.
Haven't met a girl yet who isn't a sucker for a size 6--even if it just an illusion.

27 comments:

Michelle said...

Love it! I love how comfortable you are in your own skin, Amy. Fantastic.

funderson said...

I am SO shopping at Banana Republic from now on... I finally finished listening to your podcast and it was great. I was thinking as I was running up a snow covered hill that at least I'm not the only one who runs up snow covered hills. Do you wear spiked shoes or yak trax? Also, do you have a required minimum temperature? You know...a temp that you refuse to run in if it is below said temp? Inquiring minds want to know...

X-Country2 said...

PREACH IT! I remember the first time I thought I fit into a smaller size, it was at Banana Republic, and you better believe I threw down $98 for those pants. Sucker, party of one.

Amy said...

Is that a photo of you?

JAMIE said...

I'm with you on this one, and I think I am going to start shopping at BR. :)

Sarah said...

You wanna know who's worse? Ann Kline. I got a little black dress and Ann Kline loft and that little number says I'm a size 2!!! And maybe I WAS a size two back in college....but not anymore Amy...not anymore!

Amy said...

Do you mean Ann Taylor? Because Ann Taylor also claims that I'm a 6 (that sneaky, little byotch!!!)

Ian said...

I knew it!! Size does matter!

I have nothing further to add to this post.

Mindy said...

Amy, you're back with a vengeance... you must be staying up way past your bedtime with a baby attached to your boob, thinking up funny things to make me laugh. LOVE this post, and I totally know what you mean. My favorite jeans have a number inside them that is NOT the number I usually wear... and I'm not saying if that is the reason they're my favorite. ;)

Grandma said...

twice in one sitting...why did I bother just cleaning the keyboard...when I saw that size 6 booty....That is way funny Amy. And as for BR. ..the only thing I think I have from there was a pair of way marked down black capris...w/ all the zippers on the legs and pockets.wore them to see you in Dallas when I turned 50....thought they made me not look 50 yet? and the alarm kept going off at the airport.

Bahston Beans said...

Totally agree! Purchase on!

Sarah said...

Yup, might be ann taylor.

Heather said...

Remember how I said my Levi's were so INSANELY vanity sized? That I was in a size 4? Right. I just went to OLD NAVY, KING OF THE VANITY SIZING EMPIRE, and was a size 8. EIGHT. Meaning, in real life sizes, I'm somewhere around a 10. Good lord. The fact is I'm smaller than when I started, but still...

Cheryl said...

Where did you get a picture of my butt?! If only. :-)

katieo said...

Long Live Banana Republic!!!

TX Mommy 2 said...

What a great marketing ploy... I think I'll make a shopping trip to BR... who cares if the kids can't eat and the bills don't get paid... I may actually be a single digit!

Amber Lynae said...

Okay so I totally love and hate you. Because I'm 5'8 and when I'm not carrying around my 3 year old pregnancy weight (don't judge) lol I am 150-155 and you are right that is totally a size 10. Not a size 6. I hate you for not telling me about BR's vanity sizing sooner. I would have totally shopped there and paid the over priced prices if I knew I could feel the joy of a size 6.

Unfortunately I'm not a size 10 anymore. But give me another year. I am going to lose it I promise.

Kimi@SoManyKids... said...

Maurices offers the same fantastic sizing. Size 5... Say hello to my new favorite store.. It's sweet sweet victory.

Mel said...

I'm TOTALLY going shopping there. I could use some uplifting sizing :P

At my "best" I was 140lbs and a size 8... So at Banana Republic I would have been like a 2, that might have been fun for awhile.

Amy said...

I *heart* the Banana very much for a whole host of reasons. They do vanity size in the extreme - I have to buy all size XS tops. I'm a small, and a medium if I want something to fit "roomy."

The Banana rocks.

Sue said...

Still snorfling over the skirt/mask/snowmobiling thing.

COMIC GENIUS you are.

Stephanie said...

Sizes are completely confusing to me these days. I wear a range from size 4 to 10 now depending upon the store. WTF??
BODA weight loss

lissa10279 said...

LOVE this post and am going to be linking to it tomorrow--hope you don't mind :)

M.A. said...

Holy CRAP! I'm totally making a visit to this fine institution tomorrow. My size 16 a** yearns for a 10. Truly.

Thinspired said...

Just found your blog through Tales of a Recovering Disordered Eater.
I love this post. You are a great writer. As a fellow 5'8" gal, I can't help but relate :)
Rock on for the ridiculousness that is Banana Republic!

Team O'Connor said...

I've been rockin' the size 6 BR jeans shamelessly since I discovered them in 2003. I paid $80 for that first pair and if it weren't for the hole my chubby upper thighs rubbed in them I'd still be wearing them in public. They're still in the closet, I just wear them around the house now.

Joy Through Cooking said...

I just want to say I am totally jealous of 5'8!
Somehow, in high school (15-20 pounds lighter than now) I wore the same size that I do now. What size is that? 6 of course ;) 5'4 140 shouldnt be a 6 either - it is an 8. But Ill take it Banana and J Crew! :)