February 17, 2010
So. Have you been watching the Olympics? I've got to admit, I'm over it. It's not that the athletes aren't amazingly-incredible-dedicated-better-than-I'll-ever-be people--because they totally are. I just have a short attention span.
Trust me, I want to find myself snowed in with Bode Miller just as much as the girl next door--I've just had enough with all the skiing.
By day three I was like, "The Winter Olympics boil down to three things: skating, skiing, and sledding." Sure I forgot about curling until one fourth of a second ago, but I kind of have a point...don't I?
I know, I'm killing the party over here. And usually that's my husband's job. You know how men are--if it's not a trout or a boob or an Italian sausage, they want no part of it.
Last night, since The Biggest Loser was off the air, Jared and I watched the men's figure skating competition. Let me just say, in no uncertain terms, that my husband absolutely detests men's figure skating. Actually, he's offended by it.
Me? I can tolerate it.
But Jared I'll tell ya, he just sits in his recliner, thinking about submarine sandwiches, pointing his root beer bottle at the television, saying things like, "If you're SOOO talented, and SOOO athletic that you can nail all these impossible, crazy-butt tricks, then why on earth are you wearing puffy sleeves???!!!!??? PUFFY SLEEVES? REALLY BOYS?!?!"
Even for me, a non-lover of the Winter Games, his howling is just too much.
Last night, I'd finally had it. I was like, "Jared. Enough. Once you reach the point where you can do a quadruple anything, you're free to say whatever you want about these guys. You're jealous."
And he was all, "Jealous of what?"
So I pointed to the television just in time for Mr. Puff Sleeves to jump eight feet into the air, twirl around four times, and stick the landing with all kinds of grace. Then, one second later, I kid you not, the guy was pretending to ride a pony.
Pretending. To ride. A pony.
And that's when I said it, the magic phrase I've kept locked away in my woman-vault for eight long years of marriage.
I said, "Jared, you're right."
I also stand offended.