Single Ply Toilet Paper

February 23, 2010

This family needs a vacation in a major way.

Since Jared opened his practice the middle of 2008, he's taken one week off.

Since I started my job in early 2008, not counting my six week maternity leave, I've taken one week off.

And get this...our one week each? They weren't even together. Jared used his week to fish with some buddies out West, and I used my week to visit some friends in Texas.

I absolutely need to see this man's face with an exciting, new backdrop. And soon. We can both agree on that--but friends, it's not so easy. It's never so easy.

You see, Jared would like a vacation that revolves around trout. You know--catching trout, throwing trout back, admiring trout, talking about trout. And just to be clear, an outhouse would only enhance his vacation experience.

I, on the other hand, would like a vacation the centers around, I don't know, anything other than trout? And for me, clean, indoor plumbing is absolutely non-negotiable. According to Jared, the whole indoor plumbing thing makes me 'high maintenance.' I disagree. I believe the desire to wipe with toilet paper rather than vegetation classifies me as 'first world.'

I'm not requiring turquoise water and white sand, but single-ply toilet paper. Singly. Ply. Toilet paper. Is that really too much to ask?

According to Jared? Yes. Yes it is.

15 comments:

Rachel said...

Let me ask you this...did you go fishing with Jared pre-marriage to give him the impression you're an outdoorsy girl? I played paintball to "reel" Paul in. Last time I played was the day before we got married. He too, loves the outdoors (though he could leave the trout). He'd like to buy 10,000 acres in Chile, but 10,000 acres of large, biting insects is too much for me.

And really, what's a vacation when you have young kids? I'd take a weekend home with Paul, sans children, where we can turn the volume up on the t.v. as loud as we want w/o worrying about waking anyone up and the only one I take to the bathroom in the middle of the night is me!

Jillybean said...

The only way that trout should be included in a vacation is if you're eating it in a fancy restaurant.

Amy said...

Rach--I never fished with jared before we got married, but I will freely admit that I made myself seem a whole lot more outdoorsy than I actually am. Big mistake.

Mindy said...

I'd do the fishing thing, but I agree with you on toilet paper 110%. And yeah... the "good" fishing isn't ever anywhere near a seat and a few squares.

funderson said...

single-ply is NEVER too much to ask

Charlotte said...

In the last 3 years, I've been to So Cal, New York, and Southern Utah. Jon's been to San Jose, Indiana, DC, and Kentucky.

But together? I think we made it as far as the airport to drop each other off...

I'm going with him on a business trip in a couple of weeks (4 hours away by car), so we'll get a whole half a Saturday to be together in a new place. Woopee!

If you do end up fishing, insist that Jared buy you a package of the highest quality 3-ply stuff you can find to bring with you.

Mike Russell said...

There are lots of lodges out west where he can fish during the day and the two of you spend time together at night. Shoot, most of them even have flushing toilets...

paige said...

But, you said he already got his one week holiday that was a fishing trip with his buddies - this one should be all about the toilet paper...

chattypatra said...

You, high maintenance? I refuse to use anything other than Charmin! Stick to your guns, Amy! Jared should be grateful that you are not demanding to go to a beach resort. You've given him two children, you get to go where you want.

Karen said...

tough situation....Hubby and I love to do the same things so we have no problems....maybe do something right down the middle?

Grandma said...

go somewhere nice and lock him outside:)

Bahston Beans said...

You deserve 2 ply.

Amber Lynae said...

NO.. No it is not too much to ask.

lauridawn said...

I like Grandma's suggestion!

M said...

I so completely side with you. Much to my husband's utter dismay.