In the past week I've gotten three random emails asking for more pictures of my everyday, hum-drum, kind of boring life--and two of them said, "Like the stuff that's in your refrigerator." Now I don't keep up with blog trends so well, but I'm guessing this might be one of them. If not, the creep factor just increased by at least fifty degrees.
I know as well as the next guy that voyeurism is a heck of a lot of fun, but to be completely honest, I'm pretty stinking average. Plus, I might be the worst photographer ever.
But I'll do it. Every day for the next week I'll post some pictures or a short video of my day-to-day goings on. If there's anything in particular that you'd like to see--around my house, around my town, in Jared's car, definitely not at my work--post a comment and I'll do my best to satisfy your nosiness.
For today, without further ado, I bring you the inside of my refrigerator. Fascinating, right?
A) Orange Juice from Concentrate--I'm cheap.
B) Homemade Applesauce--As in my mother-in-law made it while I yapped her ear off.
C) Iced Tea--I drink four gallons of the stuff every single day. I also use whiskey instead of mouthwash. And when my cows are sick I let them inhale my second-hand smoke. (that was a joke for Mormons)
D) Green Milk and Green Jello--It was delivered to James by a leprechaun named Jimmy O'Mally (or Sh!tty O'Mommy--either way) at 6pm on St. Patrick's Day.
E) Almond Milk--I swear it's only a little bit gross.
F) Ground Flax Seed--Apparently it's good for the brain.
G) Coca Cola Classic--Definitely good for the brain.
H) Yeast and Pasta--Whole wheat pasta. You know, in case CPS ever stops by without an invitation.
I) Eggs--I own two and they're both broken.
J) Prunes--Sometimes my poop gets stuck.
K) Cheese--There's approximately one tablespoon of shredded cheddar in there.
L) Purple Cabbage--Jared likse to throw little pieces of it in our bed when he's cranky and over-tired. I'm not kidding, he did it last night.
M) Spinach--Ups the sexy factor.
N) Salad--It's no longer in the bowl, it's now in our bed. And no, I'M STILL NOT KIDDING.
O) Kale--I don't know what the hell to do with it either.
P) Fresh Air
This is the front of my fridge. It's just as craptastic and messy as everything else in my life--like a screwed up game of Eye Spy every time you pass through the kitchen. Can you find a Chinese fortune? Jim Cantore from The Weather Channel? A fish with a wiggly tail?
Here's a close-up of James's school picture. It features his signature smile, of course:
This is our latest family portrait. I'm the one holding the baby:
And this...this, my friends is the official Lawson Family Declaration:
Jared carries a copy in his wallet, James carries a copy in his backpack, and I carry a copy in my heart. The paper copy is probably in the same place as my driver's license, my Discover card, and my debit card--a very mysterious place.
I got the idea to write a family declaration from an article I read in Real Simple Magazine while I was pooping at the Wal-Mart. It's supposed to be a mission statement for your family, and so far it's really helped us along.
See how some of the words are underlined in thick, black marker? That because sometimes, when Jared's being extra horrible, I drag him to the refrigerator by the ear, underline a phrase like HELP EACH OTHER OUT or BE KIND or WE TRY NOT TO BE DOUCHE BAGS with a sharpie, and decrease his self-esteem with an evil gaze. No words required.
So there. My fridge. I feel very close to you right now.