Prepayment

November 16, 2010

The pizza contest is still dragging on, but thankfully, there's now an official end time--tomorrow night at 11:59. I moved from really hoping we win this pizza to praying my brains out that we win this pizza, because I just heard from our accountant, and whoa. Now don't get me wrong here, you can't put a price tag on living in a nation wherein we have the freedom to post Bejewled scores and openly bash the government on our Facebook walls--but they kind of just did, and whoa again.

We have a colleague who was, not so long ago, sentanced to a smidge of jail time for tax evasion. Which has me thinking....if I were to hand Jared over to the state penetentery for say, oh I don't know, four or five years, would they take that as a prepayment on our taxes? Because right now, that's option number three, and one and two involve prostitution.

Nothing like a little middle class/privledged whining to brighten up your inbox, huh? I know, I'm totally making myself cringe with my brattiness.

Honestly though, it's times like this that might just bump me over the edge into doing something a little bit different with my life--a little less conventional and a little more risky. Because you know, since averageness isn't getting us leaps and bounds ahead of the game, what's the harm in straying from the norm?

Coach still has his testicles, maybe that's an opportunity right there.

Or you could help me win free pizza.

6 comments:

Team O'Connor said...

Your desperation has led me to like both links through my husband's facebook. I truly hope you win the pizza. Donating your eggs could be a $6,000 option. I don't know how many fertility banks are up by you though. You could adopt a kid or take in foreign exchange students. They bring great presents!

Amy said...

Oh! The desperate card worked on Carrie!!!!
Yesssss.

Pam said...

Wonder what cute little curly-headed children are going for on the black market these days?

Karen said...

I never really thought of pre-paying my taxes by handing over my husband for a little jail time. Good idea. (They let you have conjugal visits, right?)

BrianFlash said...

I helped out by voting, but you could always sell one of your kids into slavery. Double bonus - cash windfall plus lower living expenses. I'd sell the younger one because you haven't invested as much time in her.

Wren said...

I wish I could hack into every last one of my fb friends' accounts in order to secure your win. Just my husband's account will have to do. But maybe my kids are ready for social networking/pizza voting too?

And, Amy,I'm very disappointed that you're considering hooking on the side for tax money.
Tsk, tsk.
First things first: start a meth lab out of your basement- I hear they're very profitable/toxic. THEN start up a prostitution ring and work your way up the std-riddled ladder to becoming a pimp mama.
Good luck!