The Annual Christmas Letter

December 23, 2010

Dear Real and Virtual Friends,

As another year draws to a close, I feel the pressing and urgent need to draft the Annual Lawson Family Christmas Letter. I must apologize for not popping a handcrafted card in the mail, but with filling the role of what some like to call "Super Mom," where's the time? Also, I do hope you'll forgive me if I sound haughty or pretentious, but what can I say? 2010 was an excellent year in this neck of the woods.

(As always, click on the pictures for a close-up view.)

Lately, we've been packing our days with all kinds of Christmas cheer and service to others. We built our very first gingerbread house, and as a result, our home is simply bursting with the Ho Ho Happy Holiday feeling! I sure hope yours is, too!

Unfortunately, the dogs have been after the gingerbread house non-stop. According to James, they've managed to gnaw everything that's not peppermint flavored right off that sweet little cottage. Every time I ask a question like, "James, what happened to the gumdrop roof?" he's kind enough to track down Gracie and spank that geriatric greyhound for her misdeed. What a helper!

This year I made my first go at baking cinnamon rolls, and what an adventure it was! All it took was four hours, my mother-in-law dropping off some flour, my friend swinging by the grocery store while Maggie napped, a trip to Rite Aid (behind a woman with many coupons and an argumentative a feisty spirit) and every dish in my kitchen. Oh, and I missed Maggie's first steps while I was kneading. I think it's fair to say that homemade cinnamon rolls aren't the simplest way to get fat, but they sure do smell good!

Looking back, it's clear that Jared had the biggest year of all us Lawsons. He scored the deal of the century on a free, propless bass boat. So what if it doesn't run, isn't she a beaut?! ? We love it so much that we decided it could sit in the driveway alllllll winter long. I don't know about you, but I think the SS Lawson looks magical with a light dusting of fresh, fluffy snow!

And speaking of magical, we have a new addition to the family! His name is Coach, and I must say, every time I catch sight of the little bugger, my heart wells right up with joy. Doesn't yours? As far as I know, my husband doesn't have a uterus, but if he did, believe you me, he'd let that testicle-clad german shorthaired pointer nestle right up in there. Those two I'll tell ya, they're thick as thieves!

As I alluded to earlier, I'm still topping the charts as Mom of the Year! Not only am I working a job and keeping the house, but this year I've been blessed with the opportunity to enrich the lives of other peoples' children, too. Every morning at 6:05, I'm graced with the smiling faces of ten teenagers who are eager as all getout to learn everything there is to know about the Gospel. Oftentimes, I'm able to add another snippet to my morning routine by bringing a carload of these always-respectful teens to high school. Fun!

I ran two marathons this year, and continue to get progressively slower. What can I say? I always like to leave a teeny bit of room for self improvement. And that doesn't just hold true for running--2011 will be a year to make strides in my laundry management skills, too. The way I see it, the laundry chute is just filled with opportunity. Everywhere I turn, there's something to look forward to!

The kids are--what's the word I'm looking for???--AMAZING! They're friends 'til the end!

Maggie turned one in the fall and she's a smidge behind on all of her developmental milestones, but she sure is cute! The kid grunts like a caveman and slithers around like a snake wearing princess pajamas, but she's excellent at using a straw. She also loves bananas and smiling, and I'm pretty sure she'd sell her soul for eight ounces of chocolate milk.

Somewhere along the line, James's excessive television watching paid off, and now I'm proud to say that he's a fluent reader at five years old--the best in his class. Between you and me and the bathroom wall, this early reading of his is a starting to become a serious issue. Now, instead of the having the freedom to say things like, "Jared, look at me one more time and I swear I'll F-L-A-T-T-E-N-Y-O-U-R-P-E-N-I-S," James is asking questions like, "Mom, what does the word lubricate mean?" What will we do?

He played soccer this fall and scored three goals for the opposing team. He also made his bed one time in September. What a kid!

We were able to take a fantastic family vacation this past my parents' house...where we slept in their barn. We also took several trips to Sam's Club so we could save money by purchasing paper products in bulk.

All in all, we had an excellent 2010 and hope that you did, too.

Merry Christmas to You and Yours!

The Lawsons


Laura said...

Merry Christmas, Amy! Thanks for a great holiday post :)

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas to the only person I know who could get two photos of balls, and the words penis and uterus into her annual letter :)

NorahS said...

Fabulous! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from a fan in Michigan.

joolee said...

haven't commented in a while, but your gift from me this Christmas is a reminder that:


I think you are absolutely THE BEST!

Can't wait to accuse someone of having a fart stuck sideways:)

Michemily said...

I really thought that the blue sweatshirt in the laundry chute was you. Ha ha. Merry Christmas.

chattypatra said...

My eyes are so tired that when I read the second sentence on this post, I saw this:

"I must apologize for not POOPING a handcrafted card in the mail..."

Oh, Amy! I thought, WHOA, it's o.k. if you didn't have the time to mail cards, especially if they they come from that special place! (Sorry, sorry. I had such a crappy day yesterday that I ended up crying and crying.)

I am truly grateful for YOU and how you always make me laugh.

Love you tons! Merry Christmas!

Karen said...

Your Christmas newsletter was all it should have been and more. Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Morgan -Ing said...

Such a great family letter!

Miriam said...

Thanks for all the laughs in reading your last few posts. Thanks for making the not so funny things in life funny.