March 9, 2011
Just like anywhere else, living in Maine has is pluses, and living in Maine has it's minuses.
March in Maine is most definitely a minus.
Now don't get me wrong here, I really don't mind a cold, hard winter. But by the time March rolls around, and the snow's all dirty and brown, and I've fallen square on my ass in the icy Hannaford parking lot seven or eight times, I'm totally done.
Even James is done.
Today, in an effort to get him away from the television and out into the wonderful world of trees, air, and frozen dog poo, I filled a spray bottle with green-tinted water, and sent him outside. "Go tie-dye the snow, James!"
Three seconds later, he came inside with a major pout on his face.
"Mom," he said, "this water doesn't look green. It looks yellow."
"Yup, yellow," he sadly confirmed.
"Well James, you get back out there and make it look like our neighbors peed all over our yard!"
"Actually," I continued, "I don't want to see you back here until it looks like every single neighbor came to our yard with a friend and a dog, and they all peed three times each! Got it?!"
He got it alright. He's been out there for an hour and our yard looks 100% wretched right now.
Believe it or not, you actually can make March in Maine even uglier. But hoo boy, it's a whole mess of fun to do.