No Seriously, FML (Fart on My Life)

April 6, 2011

If you haven't been to the old blog in a while, I'd ask you to start by reading yesterday's post titled Fart on My Life. If you're already familiar with that post, then mmm mmm mmm, you're in for a treat.

There's good news and there's bad news, and just for the sake of keeping things exciting, I'll start with the good news.

GOOD NEWS: Thanks to a strapping combination of testosterone, persistence, and brute force, my ultra manly husband was just barely able to stretch the shrunken cover back on to the couch cushion. Yay! Go Jared!

BAD NEWS: The bad news is, well, they do say that a picture is worth a thousand words...



Fern Maggie Lawson, Artist

F to the M to the L.

24 comments:

Rosie said...

On the bright side, even when she's crying, she's cute.

Tomorrow will get better. It has to, right?

HL said...

Have you tried OxyClean Stain Remover? It takes out anything. Like, anything.

Karen said...

BAHHAAAAAAAA! Sorry.......

Amy said...

They're soaking in OxyClean right now....in COLD water!

Michemily said...

Now you can be really crafty and sew a new cover.

Kim said...

I audibly gasped when I saw that picture. So sorry!

paige said...

That's totally God telling you to buy a red couch.
Hilarious. As usual :)

Tara said...

But Maggie LOVES TO COLOR!!! And she looks really sorry:) I'm sticking with the designer couch suggestion.

Grandma said...

oh no!you didn't even tell me that one on the phone...probably b/c you are getting used to it.

Grandma said...

If she doesn't look like you in those pictures...is she crying b/c she got in trouble or b/c she knows she did something wrong...again?.. looked up if Crayola washable crayons and markers to see if the wash off furniture...and reviews said no. I was going to send some up to you...but on second thought...

MsDarkstar said...

Slipcovers...yes, there's a reason for them...

Mindy said...

I am laughing so hard right now.

Pam said...

I'm scheduling my husband's vasectomy right now.

Amy said...

We have a classic family memory of when some child ruined some piece of furniture, and my mom yelled, "I was never meant to have anything nice!" My dad said, "What about me?" She didn't think it was funny.

erin j bailey said...

Laughing so hard! At least she doesn't use her own poop to color with like my son. I found his lovely artistry all over my carpet and wall yesterday...still trying to get it out.

MommyJ said...

Once, my little brother built a "fire pit" out of popsicle sticks in my parents bedroom, then set it on fire. He burned a hole right through the carpet.

That doesn't really have anything to do with couch cushions, but I thought it might make you feel better.

(And she really is cute.)

Kristi said...

We were super poor when our daughter was born. SUPER poor. I didn't have any extra money to decorate a nursery, but I can paint, well enough that I used to get paid to do murals and other work. So I painted two walls with this huge floor to ceiling mural of a Classic Winnie the Pooh scene, complete with huge tree, swing, Christopher Robin and all the friends, the whole she-bang.

Flash forward to when my child was two and she comes into the living room, repeatedly saying, "Like Mommy, mommy! Like mommy!" and then her tiny hand grasp mine and she began to pull me, giggling all the way, into my room where she had drawn all over the wall, "Like mommy." She stood there so proud of her artwork of scribbles that it was hard to be mad. I still have it on the wall; I've never painted over it. I was ashamed of it for a long time and always explained it away if someone came into our room. Now that she's ten, looking at those little two and a half foot tall scribbles in bright red, turquoise, yellow, and black, and now I actually feel a little nostalgic. (And lazy, 'cause it's been 8 years now and I still haven't managed to get my bedroom painted!)

Sarah said...

Okay Amy, I'm sorry to have to state the obvious here....buUuut....you need to put the lipstick/markers/other permanant coloring things out of the one-year old's reach ;)

Bahston Beans said...

Those are such Amy faces in the last two pics! Did she try to blame Gracie or Coach?

BrianFlash said...

Totally easy fix - just flip over all the cushions...

funderson said...

Well, heck! It was so much fun the first time...

Krista said...

I have found that WD-40 will get ink and sharpie out of carpet - I bet it works the same for uphostery. She is dang cute, though!

Reluctant Runner said...

Man, that kid is adorable. Screw the couch.

Dang, that's so easy to say when it's not MY couch. ;-)

Fun Mama said...

Thought you might enjoy this for your FML series :)
http://www.etsy.com/listing/61693506/rude-little-black-book