June 26, 2007

Dear Sir or Madam:

My mother has expressed some serious concern with my previous post. She would like readers everywhere to know that my slobbish tendencies are not a direct result of her mothering or her housekeeping. God made me a messy person, and that's all there is to it. Just so you know:

My mother is not a hoarder or a pack-rat.

My mother does laundry every single morning at 5am (she will freely admit that she loves her 33-year-old Maytag more than she loves my father).

My mom often uses her valuable cell phone minutes to give me long distance pep-talks about dusting.

My mom cannot sleep if there's so much as a Q-Tip sitting in the bathroom trashcan.

Someday I would like to hire a cleaning lady and a laundry boy--my mother absolutely refuses to engage in that conversation.

And my mother washes the kitchen floor on her hands and knees, because she firmly believes that mops are unreliable.

My mom would also like my readers to I understand that I don't keep a totally messy house. The laundry is currently piled up to my boobers and my dog has dried up peanut butter all over her left elbow, but other than that, my apartment is clean. I only wish it were a pig-pen.


Amy B. Lawson

**Mom--was that letter ok?


Grandma said...

peanut butter will take gum out of your hair, but I think you need soap and water to get it off Gracie's elbow...or James and a cracker to scrape it off.
I do love Dad as much as the Maytag -mostly because he can fix it. I do admit I am a surface cleaner... do not look too far in these closets w/o wearing a bike helmet for protection from falling objects. I do line walls w/ my school stuff, but that gives extra insulation in the winter. Amy, if you lived closer I would do your laundry just for the challenge it would give me! xo

Anonymous said...

Hey Amy, Jared and James
I'll be on AA flight 2484 from DFW to BDL at 7:15 tomorrow. Will I see you?

Amy said...

Oh We're cheap, so we have to take an ATA flight with a layover in Chicago.
Dang, you're always in Dallas!