August 23, 2007

Parenting Rule Number One--never bribe your children, it will only come back to bite you.

Blogging Rule Number One--never hesitate to bribe your readers, it will make you rich and famous and do wonders for your self esteem.

Ok, I made that last one up. But seriously, I'm about to bribe you, so listen up...

Did anyone read that lady's eBay post? The one I linked to yesterday? It was circulated all over the internet through email, blogs and online forums. Well, she got 77,000 hits on her blog yesterday--77,000! Makes my 400 daily hits look totally, completely silly.

All of the publicity she's getting has started to make me realize just how much people enjoy that type of humor. Now I know I might not be as funny as she is (my mom says I'm funnier--I love you mom), but I think I have a similar sense of humor. So maybe, just maybe, people would like my blog too. And maybe they'd like it enough to click on a Google ad. And maybe I'd make upwards of twenty-five bucks a year.
My armpits are just soaked with anticipation over this! You should know that this is quite seriously the biggest career move I've ever made. So here's where you come in:

I would like to bribe you, my loyal and original readers, to tell your friends and family all about my blog. And if you do it, I'll send you a unique and valuable prize.

**side note: the term 'valuable' is subject to personal interpretation**

To win this prize, which happens to be a 'Lawsons do Dallas! I make things up' magnet, you can do one of three things:

1) email the link to my blog to at least ten people who don't already read it, and tell them to pass it on
2) post a link to my blog in an online forum, and tell your cyber-buds to pass it on
3) write a post on your blog with a link to my blog, and tell you readers to pass it on

And here are the rules, or 'fine print' if you will:

1) if you go the blog or forum route, you've got to send me an email with the link to the post
2) if you go the email route, you've got to include me as one of the email recipients (my email address is to the right)
3) any way you slice it, you have to say something great about me to lure these new, unsuspecting readers in, like "read this girl's blog, she's funny like the eBay lady" or "read this girl's blog, she's funny and she looks amazing (she's really been working out)" or "read this girl's blog and scoff at her, she can't even put pants on her child" or "read this girl's blog, she's unemployable, but she sure is funny"
4) and make sure to mention the title of your all-time favorite post (yeah, I don't have one either)

Get the idea?

And last, but not least, if you want to win the fabulous magnet I described above, you're going to have to send me your mailing address in the email. If you're uncomfortable with that because you think I might stalk you, or drive by your house, or send you love notes, then I'm sorry--no magnet for you.

But if you read this blog regularly, then you know full well that I'm not organized enough to stalk my own two-year-old in my 800 square foot apartment, so I sure as hell am not coming after you. Also, my greyhound has better map interpretation skills than I do, so I won't drive by your house either. And the love note thing? I still have to send out thank you notes for the wedding gifts I received five years ago. As soon as I finish those (any day now, Mom!), I'll scribble you a love note and pop it in the mail.

Ok, ya got it? You like my blog, you tell you friends, I send you a prize. How easy is that?

Oh, and for those of you who've already posted or emailed my link (Audrey H, the Wormecks, Vanilla, Katy, etc.), you can have a magnet if you want one. You know the drill, just email me your address and I'll run to your house pushing Jared in the jogging stroller and hand deliver your prize. And then I'll keep doing it...everyday...until you get the police involved.

And last but not least, I'll probably take this post down in a day or two because I can only afford fourteen or so magnets.


The Ramos Family said...

Okay, since I am such a sucker for free stuff (even a magnet), I have taken your challenge and emailed some other stay-at-home moms AND I have posted a bulletin on myspace.

Hope this helps your cause :)

Amy said...

First magnet to Jennifer!!!!

Man, stay-at-home-moms...we're so cool!

Busy Little Bee said...

I love magnets. I love them so much that I added your blog to my facebook account, and emailed some friends and family a link and description of your blog. Do I get a magnet? :)

Mel said...

I passed you on!!! I emailed you too.

I hope that you get tons of hits.

Rob & Katy said...

um, am i like your original reader? ill be PISSED if i don't get a magnet. love you!

Anonymous said...

Hey Amy,
I'm on Katy's IV messageboard and have read before, but wanted to let you know I came back cuz she posted a link and I want her to get a magnet. I'm gonna add you to my favorites cuz I think you're hilarious and every now and then I need some comic relief in my life due to my three rugrats! Thanks!
Annette :)

Melinda said...

Amy, your blog totally rocks! I tell people about it all the time. I'm going to follow your rules, though, so I can get a nifty magnet!

p.s. You're WAY better than that other blogger mom.

Melinda said...

Maybe you should sell something on might increase your hits!

Vanilla said...

The only forums that I post on are RW (where you also post) and a NFL/Football related site (I don't think that's your target reader) and I don't post there very often.

I'll continue to mention you on my blog though.

And hey, you get 400 hits a day? I'm such a failure, I only get like 150.

dietcokegrrl said...

Oh Amy, I just did a little blurb about you on Sunday in my blog. Also you have been a link on one of my lists for a while. I like to think I'm adding to your 400 hits a day! heehee.

You don't need to send me a magnet--my kids would just take it off the fridge and run around with it in their mouths (seriously). I can only have larger magnets or those magnetic clips because I'm paranoid that they'll swallow them and their intestines will stick together (that actually happened to some little boy and he died)

Good luck! I also agree that you should sell something on Ebay with a witty description. Of course, I bet EVERYONE will be doing that now.

If you take a look at the archives of her blog, she also sold one of her son's baseballs for $1125.00 on Ebay. Crazy.

Amy said...

Lots of magnets to send already!

And Vanilla, I'm sorry that you're not going to post on the NFL forum, because each and every magnet will be unique and feature copious (is that a word?) amounts of glitter.

RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

I actually think the NFL boys would really enjoy Amy, Vanilla. What, you don't think they are into kids and the joys of parenting and babysitting???? I think you are sorely underestimating them my friend ;)

Jess said...

Well, if the magnet has glitter (as you promised Vanilla), then I'm in. But I'm less organized than you, so I can't guarantee when I'll do there an expiration date on this offer? Is there a limited supply of glitter magnets?

Amy said...

Love shameless plugs! Amy you've been linked on my blog since the day we met, but I might not ever get around to making a significant PR contribution. For the record, though, most of my family now reads your blog.

Vanilla said...

Perhaps you could sell the magnets on Ebay, or try selling "a mention on your blog".

Patty said...

Okay, let me just take credit where credit is due. The "Audrey H." you refer to is my sister, and I originally sent her your blog. We both absolutely loved the 1-800-Flowers blog you posted a long time ago.

She gets a gazillion more hits on her blog than I ever would on my own, so I was happy when she mentioned you in a blog posting. Okay, that's all I have to say, just wanted to let you know I already pre-earned a couple of brownie points.... but seriously, you can keep those make-believe magnets, or better yet - put them on ebay with this post of yours. Surely you'd make some money, just like what's-her-face who is trying to make you look bad!! LMAO.

Forever a fan...

Patty said...

Okay, I just noticed that you changed your Blog Subtitle to "I make things up..."

THAT has got to be the funniest thing you've written yet!!

Penny said...

Check it out at! Since you've been amusing me for months now, it's the very least I can do! LOL

Anonymous said...

Mom here.. want to offer some of your old magnets that are still on my refrigerator? love you Amy...hope you get alot of responses!

Jes said...

I do love magnets... you definitely got a shout-out in my blog, and I've e-mailed you to some people. (o:

Michemily said...

You know I'm up for the bribery. Free stuff is always good, especially when it's steak marinated in sugar with your free three-course meal in Boston! Anyway, give me a few days and don't forget to post a reminder before you delete that post.

J~mom said...

Ok, it's a deal. I will work you in this week. :>)

Amy said...

don't forget to send me your addresses guys! Magnets all around...and that includes you Amy B! You were my first non-family fan!!!!

Anonymous said...

This is just too funny. Now, I would take you up on your offer but I would hate to see all your hard work go to waste because as soon as Montana sees a magnet he would try and bend it back and forth, back and forth......throw it around and then pick it up and throw it behind the fridge where it won't be found until 5 years later when I decide to really do some deep kitchen cleaning, lmao.

p.s. and what is up with that patty chick and trying to take credit, lol.........she says she is my sister or something,

by the way, you are much funnier ;o)

go amy! said...

I totally think that you are way funnier than the "other lady".I read her blog,and yours is way funnier!I love your blog.

Joy Through Cooking said...

dude I rule - I did this before I got to this post in my "read all the past posts" marathon. EVEN without knowing I could have received a FREE MAGNET! How nice am I!?!?!