The Lawsons did Dallas!

Bribery

August 23, 2007

Parenting Rule Number One--never bribe your children, it will only come back to bite you.

Blogging Rule Number One--never hesitate to bribe your readers, it will make you rich and famous and do wonders for your self esteem.

Ok, I made that last one up. But seriously, I'm about to bribe you, so listen up...

Did anyone read that lady's eBay post? The one I linked to yesterday? It was circulated all over the internet through email, blogs and online forums. Well, she got 77,000 hits on her blog yesterday--77,000! Makes my 400 daily hits look totally, completely silly.

All of the publicity she's getting has started to make me realize just how much people enjoy that type of humor. Now I know I might not be as funny as she is (my mom says I'm funnier--I love you mom), but I think I have a similar sense of humor. So maybe, just maybe, people would like my blog too. And maybe they'd like it enough to click on a Google ad. And maybe I'd make upwards of twenty-five bucks a year.

My armpits are just soaked with anticipation over this! You should know that this is quite seriously the biggest career move I've ever made. So here's where you come in:

I would like to bribe you, my loyal and original readers, to tell your friends and family all about my blog. And if you do it, I'll send you a unique and valuable prize.

**side note: the term 'valuable' is subject to personal interpretation**

To win this prize, which happens to be a 'Lawsons do Dallas! I make things up' magnet, you can do one of three things:

1) email the link to my blog to at least ten people who don't already read it, and tell them to pass it on

2) post a link to my blog in an online forum, and tell your cyber-buds to pass it on

3) write a post on your blog with a link to my blog, and tell you readers to pass it on

And here are the rules, or 'fine print' if you will:

1) if you go the blog or forum route, you've got to send me an email with the link to the post

2) if you go the email route, you've got to include me as one of the email recipients (my email address is to the right)

3) any way you slice it, you have to say something great about me to lure these new, unsuspecting readers in, like "read this girl's blog, she's funny like the eBay lady" or "read this girl's blog, she's funny and she looks amazing (she's really been working out)" or "read this girl's blog and scoff at her, she can't even put pants on her child" or "read this girl's blog, she's unemployable, but she sure is funny"

4) and make sure to mention the title of your all-time favorite post (yeah, I don't have one either)

Get the idea?

And last, but not least, if you want to win the fabulous magnet I described above, you're going to have to send me your mailing address in the email. If you're uncomfortable with that because you think I might stalk you, or drive by your house, or send you love notes, then I'm sorry--no magnet for you.

But if you read this blog regularly, then you know full well that I'm not organized enough to stalk my own two-year-old in my 800 square foot apartment, so I sure as hell am not coming after you. Also, my greyhound has better map interpretation skills than I do, so I won't drive by your house either. And the love note thing? I still have to send out thank you notes for the wedding gifts I received five years ago. As soon as I finish those (any day now, Mom!), I'll scribble you a love note and pop it in the mail.

Ok, ya got it? You like my blog, you tell you friends, I send you a prize. How easy is that?

Oh, and for those of you who've already posted or emailed my link (Audrey H, the Wormecks, Vanilla, Katy, etc.), you can have a magnet if you want one. You know the drill, just email me your address and I'll run to your house pushing Jared in the jogging stroller and hand deliver your prize. And then I'll keep doing it...everyday...until you get the police involved.

And last but not least, I'll probably take this post down in a day or two because I can only afford fourteen or so magnets.

Thanks!