Voicemail
August 23, 2007

So I have this friend, and she's fantastic. She's a totally fridazzled type of person who rushes everywhere but somehow finds eight spare minutes to leave the world's longest voicemail messages.

I LOVE her voicemails, and much like getting rich off of real estate, they seem to follow a set formula:

Step 1) The long hi and introduction.
Example: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii [pause] This is Sarah.......

Step 2) The child discipline.
Example: Tess, take the fudgicle out of your sister's hair.

Step 3) The apology.
Example: I'm sorry, Tess is really into fudgicles these days.

Step 4) The story.
Example: You should have seen what she did the other day with her fudgicle, it was insane. But I'll save that story for another day.

Step 5) The reconsideration/dialogue-with-self.
Example: [Sigh] Actually, I'll just tell it to you now, or else I'll forget. So we were driving down the road when Adell unbuckled herself from her car seat, and totally stuck her head out of the sunroof. I was like "put your head back in the car, sit in your seat, or else....."

Step 6) The conclusion.
Example: So anyway, we ended up getting milkshakes from Sonic instead. So that's my life these days. But I was actually just calling to ask you a favor. I really hate to ask, and I know this is a big deal, but I'm wondering if you'd be willing to--BEEEP.

And that's when the voicemail reaches its time limit and has no choice but to cut her off. And of course, the second voice mail she leaves follows the very same formula as the first.

Oh man, I just LOVE seeing this girl's name pop up on my caller ID. SO fun.

5 comments:

Heiderhead said...

BAH!
You forgot to mention the low mumbling sentences when she inevitably has some sort of food stuffs in her mouth making her impossible to understand.....mmmmphmnggn,(nasal breathing) and frrrrrbbbbbggggn.
Or when she drops the last half of her sentence, "Tom said that when we come....weshoulgumfphtuuuhhhhh..."

Dona and co. said...

Oh totally! Isn't Sarah the best?
I love to see her name pop up on my caller ID as well. In fact, I LIVE to see her name on my caller ID and to read her blog. However, I can only read her archives so many times. Fortunately she has friends with fabulous blogs like Heiderhead and the Lawsons do Dallas which fill the empty spaces of my life while I wait for her update.

J~mom said...

Gotcha linked today. ;>)

Toad and Sue said...

I had no idea you were such a fan. Please plan on not answering your phone when I call the next few days and I will gladly carry on a conversation with myself at your expense. What can I say...I'm old school, long before blogs there was VM--a great way to talk out your ideas without the a nuisance of being interrupted with conversation. I love it. Btw, I'm buying my golden marathon ticket this weekend, I feel so wild and crazy. See you Saturday!

colie-o said...

my aunt sarah is great isnt she! ha ha ha I love your blog its fantastic!