Marathon Training: Incident #2
September 3, 2007

My running watch stopped working a few months ago. It probably just needs a new battery, but taking into account that it was leaving a strange fungus on my wrist, I decided it was good as dead.

I really haven't minded running watchless. In fact, it's been quite liberating. You see, when I wear my watch, I can't pretend I'm not average. But when I don't wear my watch I can fool myself into thinking that the homeless man pushing the grocery cart is my fierce Kenyan competitor and I'm edging him out to win the title. It feels awesome.

As happy as I was to run without a watch, I have a time goal for my marathon, so I figured I should jump into reality and purchase one. So that's what I did tonight, Jared and I went to Target and we bought the very best running watch that ten dollars could buy. It does nothing.

When we arrived at the watch section, I immediately skipped over the ladies' models and began looking at the big men's watches. I admired them, I compared them, I tried them on. I had lined up my three favorites when Jared walked over to see if I had found anything good. He took one look at the watches and asked,

"Amy, why do you want to get a men's watch. They're totally huge!"

"Because, Jared, I like big watches."

"Why?" he demanded, "they're so big!"

"Well" I sheepishly replied, "I like big watches because they make me feel skinny....just like overstuffed furniture and large print books."

-silence-

And now, I'm happy to say, I'm the proud new owner of the largest watch I could possibly find and I feel SO good about myself.

14 comments:

J~mom said...

I like big watches. I think they are fun and stylish. That is what I tell myself anyway.

RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

That is perfect! I was just reading a blog a few weeks ago and one of the comments was talking about big men being the same as the little black dress...slimming! LOL

Jess said...

That's an interesting reason for hauling extra weight on your wrist. But whatever works!

Melinda said...

LOL about large print making you feel skinny! That's great!

sue said...

I was wondering why your caboose looked so small this morning while were was running--i need a watch like that.

sue said...

that's "while we were running"
I should teach esl classes...I's smart

Vanilla said...

I'm going to start calling you Flavor Flav.

Melinda said...

I got my magnet today! You should maybe go into the magnet making business... it's totally cool!

Grandma said...

and you can use it to clobber people who bother you when you run!

The Carrie Collection said...

I swear on my life I just got a $10 Target watch the other day too. I got the ladies though and the only thing I can get that piece of crap to do is beep once every hour and I have no idea how to get it to stop. I have to hide it in my underwear drawer under all sorts of unmentionables so the hourly beep doesn't wake me up at night.

jjstringham said...

I hate your running posts - even when they are funny. They make me feel like the world's biggest slacker when I decide my ten minute walk can wait until tomorrow (or the day after that, or the day after that. . . ). But I got my magnet today. That cheered me up a bit. :-D

Jes said...

I love your big watch! lol.

And I received my magnet today! I LOVE IT!!!

jahowie said...

Plus, you don't want a little watch that you can't read while you run. It's hard enough to read while running without trying to look at a cute little petite watch. Nice choice. :-)

Joy Through Cooking said...

LOL! there are sooo many photos of me from hs and younger that feature ginormous mens watches!