Over-tired, with a touch of PMS.
September 13, 2007

What he says:
I can't stand the way this new shower curtain liner sticks to itself!

What I hear:
You're horrible at buying shower curtain liners and an all-around bad person.

What he says:
Oww! You're stepping on my toe!

What I hear:
I think you're very fat.

What he says:
This sauce is good, but your secret recipe will always be my favorite.

What I hear:
Get back in that kitchen and make me something worth eating, woman!

What he says:
You look pretty today.

What I hear:
You look kind of shabby today, but I'm gonna lie to you to try to keep some peace in this otherwise insane household.

What he says:
I love you.

What I hear:
I'm unfulfilled in this marriage.

What he says:
Amy, what's wrong? Of course I love you!

What I hear:
I'm really unfulfilled in this marriage.

What he says:
Oh Amy, stop. You know I love you. I'd marry you all over again...in a heartbeat!

What I hear:
I'm moving to Hawaii and starting a new life with my secret internet lover named Haliki-Mau-Na-Lun-Iki. She's unbelievably hot.

What he says:
Ok, I've had enough. I'm taking the dog for a walk.

What I hear:
I want to do this chore because I love you so much!


Marcy said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh PMS!! Is everyone going to be raggin it soon? Seems like a lot of us have it as of late LOL

Jess said...

See, and I always think I remain so rational when I have PMS, but according to my husband, it's a completely different picture. However, on my blog you can always tell I'm PMSing b/c that's when the self-doubt and the water works begin -- "I can't run a marathon! I can't do it!"

A week later? I'm like: "Yeah, I rock at running! I'm gonna blow the pants off that marathon!"

Mother Smuckers said...

That sounds completely normal to me; am I missing something?



ali said...

I've had this conversation, I've heard just what you heard. Then they ask what's wrong and I say snappily "Nothing". Because they should know. If they loved me they would know.

Then later I look back and think I am crazy.

Grandma said...

notice you left out what you say!:)

Jason and Sarah said...

overtired and pms? That's what I hear on a normal day!

Amanda said...

Was your hearing aid turned off? I think this is how conversations with my mother go...she hears what she anticipates and then I'm very confused. I on the other hand always hear exactly what's said... Like "You look nice." "You are wearing something I should comment on, but it's really nothing special."

Sue said...

Genius. I think you could probably make a living translating for clueless men who are bewildered by their wives.

katieo said...

I seriously laughed SO hard at this.
Found you through Crabby McSlacker. (I think via Vanilla at half-fast.)