Ok, ok...sorry for the delay. Computer issues.

Flashback
September 12, 2007

This morning, like most mornings, Jared was talking about fly fishing. He turned to me at breakfast and casually said, "Hey, I heard about a place in Connecticut that I want to fish when we're at your parents' house over Christmas. It's called Colebrook. Have you heard of it?"

Wow. Let's talk about a horrible, horrible flashback:

It was the spring on '91 and I was in the fifth grade. It was a good season, as I had just acquired my very first pair of designer jeans. They were dark blue, with tiny white polka dots, zippers up the ankles, a button fly, and of course, the famous Guess insignia. They were oozing with 100% fabulousness. My mom broke down and bought me those beauties at the LaSalle Shop's going out of business sale. I thought they looked particularly nice with my imitation Keds and my cropped white sweater--you know, the one with the giant bow on the back.

I loved this outfit so much, that I snuck it along on my fifth grade overnight trip to where else? Colebrook.

It was a nature's classroom kind of thing, so we were supposed to pack things like raincoats, rainboots, comfortable jeans, warm sweatshirts and mittens. But not me. I packed my Guess jeans.

The trip stunk. It was at some strange abandoned summer camp featuring a "lake" that was more of a mud puddle, half-a-dozen deflated basketballs, and a hopscotch square. If I remember correctly, it's the famous place where I said my first swear--something to the effect of "Get me out of this hell hole!"

I vividly remember being so bored that my friend Kellee and I pretended to be in the army. Yes, we played military.

"SIT DOWN!" she'd command.

"YES SIR!" and I'd sit.

"AT EASE RECRUIT."

I was like, "Kellee, we hate it here."

She was like, "I know."

Later that afternoon, my entire class was standing in the mud puddle, listening to some lame-o lesson about bug babies...or some kind of crap like that. It was completely freezing, but I was too darn cool to wear my Thinsulate mittens (remember those?).

All of the sudden, in the middle of the lesson, I had to pee--very, very badly.

I bolted into the bunk house, unzipped my jacket, and threw it to the ground in a tizzy. I could barely hold my pee in--I was about to blow. I grabbed my button fly and made a futile attempt to undo it, but my fingers were frozen and had become totally, completely useless. I had no motor control, so a even a zipper fly would have been an utter impossibility.

I whimpered, I cried, I swore for the second time in my life, and then I peed in my Guess jeans. And then all over my coat.

I walked back to the mud puddle, rolled around, and told my teacher that I had taken a nasty fall.

I looked back at Jared, fighting my traumatized expression, and in a very dishonest moment I said, "Colebrook....hmm. Doesn't ring a bell. Nope, I've definitely never heard of it...really."

10 comments:

Melinda said...

Oh, this post just brings back too many bad memories for me... we'll leave it at that!

My husband adores fly fishing too. I love watching how his eyes get all dreamy when he talks about it. I wish he got that look in his eyes when he talked about me!

Patty said...

haha, great story. Brings back memories of when I peed my pants. Of course, I was in kindergarten... not the (ahem) fifth grade. lmao. But I'll overlook that small detail since you made me laugh tonight! =)

Michemily said...

Ha ha ha :) Sometimes I think I'm the only one who hasn't peed in their pants. Not that I want to . . .

Grandma said...

I remember that outfit! I didn't know it went on the trip until now! Hope they got washed and they haven't been hiding in the attic all these years!

Mother Smuckers said...

Alright, I pooped in my pants while riding "The Octopus" at the 4H fair but in my defense I was only 6 and it was a scary ride.

It happens...

Oh and you're Mrs. Peebody. [wink]

Rob & Katy said...

my goodness, amy... why did you have to bring back the horrors of colebrook? next you'll be blogging about camp timber trails (shudder).

Kellee said...

ohmygosh, I totally remember that sweater! and the trip of course, though I try awfully hard not to remember it...and yes, timber trails, I remember when we decided to hide the mom's stuff and then couldn't find it in the dark and we got so upset. Or the time at strawberry fields when we decided not to finish our tent and some poor girl (Melissa?) got SOAKED because it rained all night and we didn't close up the end.

Kellee said...

who would've thunk it that I'd actually join the military....HA!

jkrunning said...

oh, I think I had that sweater.

Jon said...

I peed my pants in elementary school also but luckly it was during recess and the sprinklers were going in the field so I promply ran out there and got as soaked as I could. I was sent to the principle's office for getting all wet but no one knew I peed my pants.