What!?
September 14, 2007

Lately, people have been asking me if James is an only child. We've gotten the question four or five times in the last month, and I'm taken aback with every single asking. I think it's the wording of that question that surprises me the most. "Only child"...it's such a decisive term.

We're Mormon, and somewhere along the road, you've probably realized that Mormons tend to have large families. Actually, I'd like to set the record straight-- Mormons are nothing short of high volume baby production plants. I once met a family at church with twenty-one children. That's abnormal of course, but five or six is not even worth a second glance.

Yes, my religion is singlehandedly responsible for the world's overpopulation conundrum and the associated doomsday scenario. So naturally, people are starting to wonder why our family's not contributing.

James is two-and-a-half, and yes, he's the only child that I have. But no, he's not the last one I'll have. Well, at least I don't think he'll be an only child forever. Jared is one of five children--so he'd never stand for that.

Ok ok, the rumor is accurate. I have actually given away all of our baby things. But that's only because we're moving across the country!

Yes, it's true that I know about thirty women who are pregnant or postpartum and I don't even have the slightest twinge of jealousy. But that's not abnormal, is it?

And I will openly admit that James is starting to become a whole lot of fun. He can swim independently, he can go fishing with Jared, and we might even put him on a mini set of skis this winter.

Right now, as I type, James is pretending that his giant dinosaur toy is eating his double-decker bus toy. C'mon, that's cool! Like really cool. A baby can't do that stuff. Why would I want a kid who doesn't know how to do a rhino roar or simulate the sound of an explosion while playing trains?

Just look at that picture up there. James is really starting to be adventurous! I just don't want to screw up this fun with, you know...a baby.

But that doesn't mean that James is destined to be an only child, does it? Really, I don't want that, I just don't want a baby. If I could order up one big brother and one toddler twin for James, I'd do it in a second. But that's much easier said than done.

I think I'd like to have another baby when James is four or five. In the mean time I've got races to run, and trips to take, and jobs to land, and a business to start. A few more years would be perfect, really, really perfect.

But what am I supposed to do with my baby hungry husband? He "oohs" and "ahhs" at pictures of newborns, he test drives the double strollers at Target, and worst of all he says things like, "Let's have another baby!" and "I think James is ready for a sibling!"

And then there's James, who asks me everyday, "Mommy? Dabes have a baby brudda, too?"

Jared wants a baby, James wants a baby, and me? I want a boat.

I'm officially outnumbered.

24 comments:

Mother Smuckers said...

I want a pony...

Bonni Michelle said...

either would work for me, but I am not ready for children... much less multiple ones. Taking care of my dog is kicking my butt, I don't know how mothers do it.

Hats off to you!

Sue said...

Good luck with that. A very, very very, VERY small part of me wants another baby, but we've already got three, and they're all finally out of diapers. I'm not smoking THAT much crack...

Rob & Katy said...

oh... didn't know JAMES was even asking, too...

Vanilla said...

I have two boys, and don't get me wrong I really do love them both. But if you really would rather have a 2 1/2 year old instead of another new baby then you can have mine.

I've been thinking about trading him in for a boat anyway.

RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

I have an 8 year old that I would have to say is probably one of the best big brothers around. I mean, come on, if he can handle his bossy little sister, think what he could do with a sweet little brother!

Marcy said...

I agree with you. Toddlers, Ok. Newborn babies . . NO WAY!! If I could have, I would've housed my 2nd child in my uterus for another 2 years if nature allowed.

Jess said...

Well, there are several key things here: Would your husband or child actually have to bear the baby? No. So, while they may outnumber you in votes, they do not outnumber you in importance. Keep that in mind -- you hold the highest hand here, sister.

Also, I think Catholics are also contributing to the whole "overpopulation" thing as well, so Mormons can't claim that all to themselves. But 21 children? My god. That woman's vagina must've been like a log ride by the time that last one came along!

But really, how do people afford that many kids? I don't know how people afford ONE kid! We have a dog and sometimes I moan and groan about how much HE costs us!

Amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy said...

Oops. Sorry about the removed comment. It didn't work the first time. It may be worth taking a look at how one of my friends solved a similar problem:

amynaseath.blogspot.com/2007/09/
its-man-doll-thanks_02.html

Melinda said...

LOL! I get people (well, Mormon people ;) asking me all the time "You're ONLY having THREE?!!" Yup. Three. We are done. D-O-N-E done! I can barely handle that many! DH comes from a family of 8 kids...his mom is a saint!!

Mel said...

I hear this all the time and my son is only almost 9 months old.

He will be an only child though. I think that until you're ready it shouldn't happen. You're the one pregnant. If my husband could figure out a way to carry a child THEN and ONLY then would I POSSIBLY consider another child.

I have no desire to be pregnant again or have a newborn. A good friend of mine had a baby this week, NO desire to have another one, and no jealously that she's not going to sleep for months.
-Mel

Grandma said...

well it should be easier for me to help out...a drive away! xo

katieo said...

Ok. So I'm going to leave the dork comment that has barely anything to do with the actual post,
yay! I'm Mormon too! lol!

Kellee said...

Well, we have the boat, not the kid...but I would highly caution you that the ownership of a boat means a) a lot of swearing, which would mean you'd have to bust out all of your original words, b) a lot of money...which means no more designer Guess jeans and c) lots of TLC, which has got to be much better spent on a miniature James.

Mary said...

'Dabes' - sounds like how my James pronounced his name till he was around 5. I was getting a little worried about that so I talked with the speech therapist at school and she said the J sound is about the last that a child acquires.

My first 2 kids are 3 years and 8 months apart. When I got pregnant with #2, James, I actually felt guilty. I was having so much fun with Sarah that I was afraid a baby would spoil everything, that it would ruin my relationship with my daughter, that they would never be close because of the age difference, that I could never love another child as much as I loved Sarah... And I was pretty much wrong about everything. It's a big change but not at all a bad one. Besides, kids enjoy having siblings.

jjstringham said...

I wanna baby! And my first two are still in diapers. I must be insane.

Anonymous said...

I think the new PC way of indicating on "only" child is the word "single child" because it puts less pressure on parents to have more and sounds less like a judgement.
My advice is don't wait until he's 5. I'm 5 years older than my younger brother and we have nothing in common and fought all the time. Even now that we're adults we absolutely can not live together.

Anonymous said...

Since we got it right the first time, we're done. My daughter is 6 and loves her life! And I love having "me" time again. Now, if I could just get motivated to start running again...ugh!!

Mary said...

Another thought for you, Amy. When I was in college, a friend and I once asked a mother of 7 what advice she would give us about being a mother. Her response: "The best thing I did for my children was to give them brothers and sisters."

Michemily said...

Let's just say this: if you think James will have siblings, now would be a good time to go for it, because I always wished that my siblings were closer in age. The older ones had each other and the younger ones had each other, but I was stuck in the middle, too far from either end to go to junior or senior high school with any siblings.

Angela Sumner said...

we recently made the decission not to have any more children - our eldest is 9, the second is 3 3/4 and they are now beginning to be good friends. the youngest are twins age 22 months ( we decided to have ONE more lol) and they are great playmates for the three year old - and we get asked ALL the time if we are having more!
people think i'm some kind of baby machine, and whilst i do love pregnancy and being a mother, i'm looking forward to regaining my life again....so i can understand comletly how attractive the prospect of waiting is. only you can decide when the time is right :)

The Carrie Collection said...

First of all, your comment numbers are rising at a rapid pace and I'm very proud and jealous of you. Secondly, wait to have another baby because you're 100% right. All they do is poop, sleep, eat, wake up, cry, poop, eat, cry, sleep, look completely uncomfortable and that goes on for months! Plus, you wouldn't have enough time to blog and that would be doing the world a disservice.

Ali said...

I'm an only child. Spoiled. Complete me complex. You should have another just so I remain special.