Thanks, but no thanks.
September 1, 2007

We're moving across the country in December, so of course, we've been cruising the internet looking for a new place to call home. I love Maine, and I can't wait to go back, but some of these real estate ads have completely icked me out. And if you read this blog regularly, then you know full well, that it takes a whoooole lot of nastiness to earn my attention.

Seriously guys, I'm a professional babysitter and the mother of a two-year-old boy. At least once a day I find my poop streaked up my arm, my toothbrush in the toilet, and mixed vegetables wedged between a baby's bum cheeks--doesn't phase me in the slightest.

But these real estate ads? They phase me. Mostly because the ad pictures feature animals. Today alone, I came across these photos on realtyofmaine.com:


Look at this dog. Sure he's kind of cute, but you know that if he could talk he'd be like, "What's up? You should buy this house because the walk-in closet in the master bedroom is amazing....FOR POOPING IN!"

And p.s., what's up with that quilt on the wall. YO!?







Ok, and then there's this one. First, there appears to be no refrigerator in the kitchen, but that's no what I'm concerned with. Look at that nasty-ass gargamel cat.

If the cat could talk you know it would say, "Ohhhh, so you don't like cats? That's good to know, because these people don't want cats in their new trailer, so they're planning on leaving me in the back shed. I'm part of the deal...sucker."



Ick.

13 comments:

MorseyRuns said...

Are you sure that is a cat?? I know a wombat when I see one and that looks like a wombats big behind that is being patted in the last photo. I am not sure if they really make great pets.

Amy said...

Oh my gosh. Maybe it's a wombat!!! That's even grosser.
Blech.

Grandma said...

just hearing that it could be a wombat is funny enough....Amy I recently saw one w/ a cat on the bed...but do you remeber the photo we saw w/ the chickens strutting in the back yard?

Grandma said...

I meant front yard...it was the FRONT yard!

Vanilla said...

Am I the only one who thinks that dog looks like he's about to lift his leg and relieve himself? That's probably his peeing spot.

krystyn said...

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the realtors who took the pics may not be @ the top of their game....

Mary said...

Hi Amy! I just linked to your blog from Sarah Flake's. I didn't know you had one. Now I'll have to spend the rest of the day reading all your archives. My blog is lame and I need to get a digital camera so I have more pics. I'm really not completely into it yet. I didn't even tell my husband I was doing it - not that it's a big secret, but he stumbled across it just a few days ago when I forgot to log out. Mary Arnquist

The Carrie Collection said...

Sweet particle board cabinets! Looks like they put some money into that kitchen. I wonder if the counter tops are granite. I wouldn't be surprised... Maybe renting for a few months is a better option. Then you can actually go inside the houses to confirm that the home does come with the odor the photo leads on to.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

The Rain In Maine Falls Mainly On The.....Linoleum?

Seriously, I've never seen linoleum outside of a kitchen before, and yet there the dog is, standing on it upstairs.

Jess said...

I think, judging from those pics, that animals in those residences are the least of your residential concerns.

Amy said...

Mmmmm....yeah. The low end real estate in Maine can be adventurous/creative/scary to say the least.
Jared and I once bought a house that was insulated with mens clothing from the 70's. That's not a joke. We pulled a few pairs of bell bottoms and some butterfly collar shirts right out of the wall...for real

Penny said...

Big changes ahead. Good luck on the move and house hunting.

In the top photo it looks like commercial black rubber stair treads on the steps. Why people would also include their pets, or themselves, in a photo of this kind is beyond me. Do they really want to sell?

Ever see the movie "The Money Pit". :-)

Jessica Schessler said...

I live in Maine! =) I feel your pain on the listings... so many are just disgusting. Just depends where you're looking.