The State Fair of Texas
October 8, 2007

On Saturday afternoon, we took our annual family outing to The State Fair of Texas. I really like fairs, but I really love The State Fair of Texas--and when I say "really love," I mean I love the fair as much as I love my legs, my lungs, and my ability to speak.

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure. Thoughtful, descriptive comments are conveniently located below each image.


The reason behind my love of the fair is very, very simple--it's the fried food. If you'll kindly glance above, that's a [blurry] picture of me eating a foot-long-corn-dog. I had that twelve-inch-beauty in my hand within twenty seconds of entering the main gate. How was I so fast you might wonder? It wasn't easy. I prepared by using the fair's online food finder and dutifully plotting my course on a map. I had a corn-dog, tornado taters, funnel cake, fried oreos, fried cookie dough, nachos, a turkey leg, and corn-on-the-cob all within a four hour span. I felt fabulous.

The moral of the story? Good things come to those who prepare.


This is a picture of me (with some fabulous hair), James eating french fries, and my best friend Jerome holding his prize-winning chicken named Mrs. Dinger-Doodles.


This is a picture of a young man driving a small donkey in some sort of competition. I think they won, and it's no wonder they did--that's one fine piece of ass he's got there.


Here is an older gentleman, dressed in some very smart-looking business casual for the donkey driving competition. After the race, I'm guessing he was going to drive his asstastic pet straight to the office for a very important conference call.

This is a large pig.
A large, boy pig.
A large, boy pig with gigantic schnuts.
You might not believe this due to the lack of a reference object, but this pig's cojones were the size of cantaloupes--and I'm not talking about the wimpy little melons that go on sale for ninety-nine cents a piece. These were like farmer's market melons.
That pig needs pants, and now I will say no more.

Here is a picture of me on a race car ride with James. Yes, it's a kiddie ride, and yes, I'm screaming my head off. Please note that I wasn't screaming out of fear. I was screaming because 1) my arm flab was ALL OVER the place, and 2) I was still think about swine balls.

And this is just a cute picture--Jared and James on the airplane ride.

Now can't you see why I love the fair so much?

20 comments:

RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

I love you! I didn't even know they had a food finder for fair food! You really take this diet thing to a whole 'nother level, don't you :)

P.O.M. said...

Funnel Cake, Corn Dogs, Sweet Potato Fries, Slabs of Ribs, Fried Onion things - best reason to go to the fair for sure!

Marcy said...

OMG, OMG, OMG I would've gladly traded places with you on that day. I *heart* fried food. No wonder my ass is so big LOL

Grandma said...

looks like you guys had a fun time! you've been talking about that corn dog for awhile!! your last TX State Fair as residents...you'll miss it!

Melinda said...

My sil just bought a toy pig for her son, and her husband will not let her live it down that she picked a boy pig. I think your fair pig might have been the model for this toy pig.

MillerFam said...

Excuse me . . . where is a pic of Big Tex??? My personal fair favorite besides the food :-)

Hilary said...

Fun photos.. I especially love that last one.. very sweet. Thanks for sharing.

RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

That is so crazy that you mentioned "neurological" because Bells Palsey actually crossed my mind while it was happening. I know that is just in regards to your face, but it is kind of the same concept, right?

Catherine M. said...

Good to hear you love your legs and good to hear your feeding them properly. I love your legs too. I wish I had them on Saturday when me knees hurt for my whimpy little 6 miler. You're a machine.

Catherine M. said...

I can't spell and I'm not funny.

Catherine M. said...

But I just now figured out how to comment on your blog... and everyone elses. Turns out I just didn't actually know what my username was. I thought I was something special. Turns out it was just an email address.

I had thought that after a really awful comment to my sister, that the blogging Gods had shut me out of the community by mysteriously scrambling my identity and preventing my comments.

Turns out I'm not too bright. I will haunt you now.

Pig nads are scary eh?

Mother Smuckers said...

I've never used this term before but you are a PIG PERVERT! Sorry, but when someone is spreading pig porn around the interweb I've got to call a spade a spade.


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Hilary said...

Mother Smuckers, that's not Pig Porn.. it's Erhogtica!

Jess said...

Looks like a corn-dog-good-time!

Penny said...

I love fairs. All the food and funny, country events. Great photo ops too! Like the donkey race - hysterical. Your pics are so cute Amy.

I heard, not from a reputable source of course, that pig gonads are a culinary delicacy. Why do you think they've been saving this pig for so long - fatten up those things, obviously. His gonads are ripe for the pickin', don't ya think? Or, they'll go into the next batch of foot-long corn dogs I'm sure.

Mary Ann said...

Amy, I just have to tell you...

whenever I need a good hearty laugh, I turn to your blog! you are too funny for your own good. When are you heading on the road with your comic tour? Or maybe you can some how incorporate your comedy in Jared's practice!

Thanks for the laughs!

The Roberts' Report- the roller coaster ride of life by Rachel and Larry. said...

I have never laughed so hard. You totally crack me up!! And look already 16 comments. Who knew fried food and pig balls were such a HOT topic!!

Grandma said...

that pig was minding his own business...when you come along and take a picture of his private parts...yes, he should have little plaid piggy shorts on.

CollegeGirl said...

I love all those pics!

katieo said...

SO fun!
(HIlary- erhogtica? lol!)