October 29, 2007
Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox, who rolled over the Colorado Rockies in the 2007 World Series.
And congratulations to me, who accurately predicted that it would only take four games to stuff the National League's best ball-club into the proverbial recycling bin and send 'em to the processing plant.
Let me take a moment to recap some highlights of the series for all you non-baseball watchers who read this blog.
Highlights of Game 1, 2, 3 and 4:
The Rockies stunk, like ridiculously bad. Just a bunch of pansies wearing a strange shade of purple and some faux-sleeveless jerseys that were way cool in 1994--or whenever in the hell that team was established. -end of report-
There. I kept it short, as not to bore any non-sporting types.
Most of the time, when a team loses a big game, I feel a great deal of compassion for the fans. I can't help it, I'm a Red Sox fan and all Red Sox fans know the absolute heartbreak that comes along with losing. But last night was diferent. I felt no love for the Rockie's fans, not a single-little-friggin' ounce.
Why not? Because of HDTV, that's why not.
We watched game four at our friends' house. They don't have a rabbit ear antennae zip-tied to a coat hanger dangling from their living room window like we do--they have a plasma screen, and holy heck, that thing is awesome. Needless to say, we appreciated the invitation.
You could see individual blades of grass, the pitcher's facial stubble, and the one-day-old hats that that all the Rockies fans seemed to be sporting. The picture on their TV was so exceptional that it was easy to tell that 99% of the fans' t-shirts had never been through a spin cycle. We even saw two jackets with the tags still attached. I guess it's easier to return your newly purchased team gear after a loss if the bar code is still in tact.
Give me a freaking break. These people are not fans, they're nothing but a bunch of bandwagoning butt-heads. They're so new to the game that the Jumbotron said TOUCHDOWN after they hit a home run and no one even blinked. How's that for baseball fanatics?
So welcome aboard Rockie's fans. Welcome to the list of "fans" (and I use that term in the most casual sense of the word) that I really almost hate. It's you and the Yankees, and I'll caution you now-- Any old Yankees fan could knock your block off with one easy swing of her personalized brass knuckles. And really? I kind of wish they would.
(sorry to be so harsh, I just can't help the way I feel)