February 21, 2008
I have a sneaking suspicion that today is going to be one of those historically embarrassing days. After all, it's not even lunch time and I've already had a few shining moments.
I walked into work around seven o'clock to find that a lengthy article about my new job had been printed in the local newspaper. Not only did the paper misquote me by saying that I think all aspects of my job--including a catastrophic budget situation--are "fun," but it also printed a less-than-fabulous photo that left me looking like a watermelon wearing a wig. Oh yeah, they also printed my lame-o salary.
You're going to snarf when you read the second half of this sentence, but I tend to be a private person. Obviously I'm not private about all things--I'm happy to talk about farting on the treadmill, I won't hesitate to talk about parenting challenges, and I'm downright excited to talk about marital drama. But let's be clear, I'm not thrilled to spill every detail of my life to any darn person in the world, so the salary thing has left me feeling slightly violated.
I'm not sure why I'm so concerned about the release of this piece of information, perhaps I'm concerned that someone will come up behind me in the Grand Union and say, "You shouldn't buy those bananas, they're not on sale and I know you can't afford them." or "I like your new hooker boots. You must have charged those."
On the flip side, local philanthropists might start cutting me checks. We'll see.
Other than that, a selectman came up behind me while I was in the middle of licking donut jelly off of a paper plate, I did two laps around the office with my fly unzipped, and my boss told me that my hair is "really, really big today."
Thank goodness it's Thursday...I have Fridays off.