Fifteen Minute Break Update

February 21, 2008

I have a sneaking suspicion that today is going to be one of those historically embarrassing days. After all, it's not even lunch time and I've already had a few shining moments.

I walked into work around seven o'clock to find that a lengthy article about my new job had been printed in the local newspaper. Not only did the paper misquote me by saying that I think all aspects of my job--including a catastrophic budget situation--are "fun," but it also printed a less-than-fabulous photo that left me looking like a watermelon wearing a wig. Oh yeah, they also printed my lame-o salary.

You're going to snarf when you read the second half of this sentence, but I tend to be a private person. Obviously I'm not private about all things--I'm happy to talk about farting on the treadmill, I won't hesitate to talk about parenting challenges, and I'm downright excited to talk about marital drama. But let's be clear, I'm not thrilled to spill every detail of my life to any darn person in the world, so the salary thing has left me feeling slightly violated.

I'm not sure why I'm so concerned about the release of this piece of information, perhaps I'm concerned that someone will come up behind me in the Grand Union and say, "You shouldn't buy those bananas, they're not on sale and I know you can't afford them." or "I like your new hooker boots. You must have charged those."

On the flip side, local philanthropists might start cutting me checks. We'll see.

Other than that, a selectman came up behind me while I was in the middle of licking donut jelly off of a paper plate, I did two laps around the office with my fly unzipped, and my boss told me that my hair is "really, really big today."

Thank goodness it's Thursday...I have Fridays off.

11 comments:

carla said...

how could a (finger quote) reporter (unF.Q.) print that!?

and we --the royal-- freakin hate when the day starts like that.

your hair? we of the FLAT HAIR are insanely jealous.

Carla
www.MizFitOnline.com

Sarah said...

Yeah not cool about the article, I would be angry about them printing my salary, without even asking too!

jkrunning said...

Friday's off? Did the article share that too?

Cheryl said...

Sorry your day is off to a bad start. But at least it gives you lots of good blogging material! I can just picture that last part about licking the donut jelly, big hair, etc. What a hoot! Thanks for the laugh. :-)

akshaye said...

Friday off.. you just blew away all the sympathy I had worked up for you!

Rhien Family said...

So, how much do you make?

Ha, ha-

Seriously though, do you get every friday off?

WyniaFamily said...

Can you sue? And get some more money?

J~Mom said...

Ah come on, we want to read this article. :>P

Hilary said...

I hope the article also reported that you're brilliantly funny and have a HUGE fan club (no, I was NOT going to say HUGE hair). ;)

Minnie said...

Wow, I can't believe how little journalistic integrity there is out there.
As far as the jelly donut, I'd tell the "official" that you have to eat at work, after all, doesn't he know your broke?
Sorry your day got off to such ab bad start....

John S. Maine said...

So are you working for the Goverment now? I have my salary published in the Town Report every year, and debated on the floor of Town Meeting, Budget Commitee and at the local stores. Ha Ha! Guess what you never get meritt increases and you will be lucky to get a true cola that actualy keeps up with the economy. Remember you work for those evil taxpayers!