For the Love of a Kibble

February 20, 2008

No, no.we definitely didn't get another dog. Don't get me wrong, I love my greyhound slightly more than I love my husband, and I fully intend to add to the collection someday, but right now she's more than enough to keep me joyful, busy, and satisfied. Gracie would happily hurl herself from a fifty foot cliff for the sake of a single kibble, and believe you me, it takes quite a bit of effort on my part to curb that type of enthusiasm.

In the last seven days, Gracie has not let us down. She's performed at least three exotic stunts--just like she always does. On Wednesday morning she used her thirteen-inch nose to pry open a childproofed cabinet door and eat half a ton of chicken bones out of the kitchen garbage can. On Sunday, around three o'clock in the morning, Gracie slipped and fell down an entire flight of hardwood stairs, leaving a trail of blood that was reminiscent of a murder scene (on my in-law's carpet, of course). And last night she ate an entire loaf of Italian bread--paper wrapper and all--off the top of the refrigerator.

The chicken bone thing was annoying, the stair thing was completely sad, and I can't lie, I'm about to sew a superman cape to the back of her fleece jacket, because the bread thing was totally awesome. Think about it--we usually can't move this dog off the couch with dynamite, but for the lure of refined carbohydrates and simple sugars, Gracie got off the couch, jumped six feet in the air, and snagged a loaf of bread with nothing but her teeth. I've seen her go to the same lengths for Oreo cookies, birthday cake, and a five-pound bag of Idaho potatoes.

I aspire to do similar things.

I'll be honest--I could do without the long, constant flow of gas that she's been squeaking out since 2004, but other than that, this dog is awesome and I find myself giving her high-fives every single day.

Other fabulous animals of my past have included: Skippy, the painted turtle who scaled the wall of a baby pool and ran away (devastating, yet remarkable); Holiday, the three-foot long iguana who relocated to Florida in a Rubbermaid container and now resides with my cousin (an all around good move); and Rocky, the fifteen-year-old terrier who continues to bite ankles with the best of 'em.

So tell me.do you have a pet? What's his name? And obviously, what are your pet's primary points of awesomeness?

Have a great day everyone!

32 comments:

jahowie said...

We have a cat and his name is Murphy. His Dad's name was Eddie. He likes to meow really loudly in the bathroom so that we will turn on the water in the sink so that he can have a drink, even though his bowl is always full. Bowl water isn't good enough for him!! LOL!!

Heather said...

Hola! I have a Boston Terrier/Jack Russell mix who is completely psychotic but at the same time, so freaking smart it's scary. Seriously, she looks at us through mirrors. She looked at me through the crack of the door one day. She high-fives. She knows a zillion words and I swear has the reasoning skills of an 8-year-old. She's 11, and our baby is due 2 days before her 12th birthday. I'm hoping to hold out until then!

Ali said...

My cat's name is Tallula. She loves green beans. Not to eat. Just to play with. When I open the fridge, she sees them in the chiller and starts to cry and scratch at the drawer until I throw one across the floor.

My Life & Running said...

I love that she has a fleece... ;)

We have Lucy the Pug and her amazing talent is to eat gobs of things which are normally poisonous for dogs and to rock out of any symptoms. Easter Basket filled with gourmet chocolates? Check. Big bag of macadamia nuts? Check. An onion? Check. Pack of gum? Check. Tide box? Check. Pencils, shoelaces, lip glosses, Anna Karenina... the list goes on.

littlebee said...

I have a wonderful Betta named Mr. Fish. He's the best swimmer and food chomper around! And he loves to strike a pose, blow kisses, clean his stone house, and rearrange his plant. I think he's getting ready for a lady friend that'll never come.

Vanilla said...

I have a dog (Alaskan Malamute) who used to run out and fetch our newspaper from the driveway every morning, but we don't get a newspaper delivered anymore (hello? Internet?)

It was awesome because I didn't have to stumble down our driveway in my PJs to get the paper, and whenever the paperboy skipped our house the dog would just head on down the street until he found a paper to bring back. His name is Epaphras (long story).

Running in Alabama said...

I love it when people love their pets! They aren't for decoration, are they???

I have a great pyrenees named abby who weighs 120 and still sleeps in my lap, guards us against any leaf that flutters, every star that twinkles (very dangerous, ya know) and loves me even during that time of the month when everyone around me gets weird and cranky :)

Joanna said...

I have 2 dogs (previously referred to as our 'kids') - Daisy - a beagle mix and Sadie - a purbred beagle. With the arrival of baby #2 however, these poor babies have ended up outside in their own dog houses. Daily I feel horrible about it.

However - they still manage to love us to pieces, sit and stare at the door for HOURS on end as if we'll let them back in the house at the blink of an eye, and lay around all day long...not really tricks I guess....

Erin said...

Stanley just got a big long post the other day. It's not enough he has a blog named after him, he also gets a little press from time to time. http://stanleyinthecity.blogspot.com/2008/02/stanley-norman.html

Bethiej said...

I wish Mike would let me dress Zen up in clothes. He says that an 85 lb Great Dane/Pitbull mix should not wear clothes...but I think that playing dress up might be just the thing one of these afternoons when Daddy is not home.=) Zen is just like Grace regarding the chicken bones...in fact once we knocked my crockpot off the counter and ate a whole chicken...bones and all.

Anita said...

We have an adorable Shi Tzu named Ozzie. He loves to escape to the neighbors house to eat all of their leftovers she leaves out for the neighborhood stray cats. Ozzie only barks to be let back in the house, when he sees us after a long and lonely day, and much to our delight...he whimpers and barks at the telemarketers on the answering machine.

meg2414 said...

I have a 10 month old kitten named Madison. She is a beautiful calico who often can be found in the bathroom admiring herself in the mirror. She does not lack self esteem and often spends hours grooming herself then does a model like walk past us while we are watching TV.

As for the food, I store her food in a Tupperware container that is kept up on a shelf in the laundry room. Three days ago I came home to find Madison in a food coma passed out on the basement floor. She apparently knocked it off the shelf pushed it across the kitchen floor to the basement steps and pushed it down the stairs were it spilled open. Now if that isn't creativity I don't know what is! ;-)

Bahston Beans said...

I am proud that you are ready to speak of Skippy. Really, I never thought you would come to terms with that loss.

We don't have a pet. But I would like to time-share a dog with Katy. I think it would be the best ever.

Sarah said...

We have to keep our bread put away in the cupboard or else our 10 month old kitten will steal it in the middle of the night and ravage it under the spare bed. The funniest part about it is that the loaf of bread is the same size that he is!!

HotMommy said...

We have two terrier mixes. Stephen Colbert is the girl and Jon Stewart is a tiny, neutered male. It's always fun to take them to the vet and re-explain that yes, we do know Stephen is a boy's name and no, my last name is not Colbert or Stewart. Just because the dogs are a part of our family doesn't mean we all have the same last name.

Fiona said...

I have two dogs. Herbie is a beagle/boxer mix and his claim to fame is that he simply survived an ibuprofen overdose! The vet calls him a miracle dog and says I should write a story. My other dog, Honey ... she's a mix of who knows what. She can jump my 6-foot fence in a single leap. She also walks along the fence for a few feet, like a cat, before jumping over to the other side. She is also spastic, hyper, and incredibly loving and sweet. Dogs are way cool!

Sarah said...

We have two dogs - an English Bulldog named Caesar and a boxer named Sieben...Sieben is our Houdini with food aka nothing is safe on the counters because she will get it!

Caesar is funny just to watch some of the things he does. Lately he has taken to jumping into our bed (not easy considering his height vs. that of the bed) and sqeezing between us so that he is right in the middle of everything!

Jess said...

My dog, Scooter, would gnaw off his own leg for some of his kibble.

His other admirable traits include silently farting under the covers at night so that his sneaky farts quietly waft up to my husband and I whenever we shift the covers. It can make you want to vommit.

Vanilla said...

Jess, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but that's probably your husband letting those rip.

Rob & Katy said...

Poor Skippy. People never believe tat story when I tell them.

Oh, and hellooooo... how could you forget t mention Bert, our bunny who braved 5 New England winters?

WyniaFamily said...

We adopted our cat when she was 4 years old. She hid under our bed for two weeks when we first got her, and would go into hysterics if we even LOOKED under there. I almost called animal control, but, I dragged her out, and made her sit on my lap for 20 minutes, and it seems to have changed her life. She has been our cat for 8 years now, and when we adopted her, her name was JASMINE. We hated that name, but we never came up with a new one, so her name has been, and always will be Kitty. It confuses the kids. It was REAL hard not to name our first daughter Baby, but we resisted.

WyniaFamily said...

Oh, and Kitty has also gone to town on a loaf of french bread. That is righ... our CAT and a loaf of french bread. Weird.

carla said...

crazy drooly farty hunk of burnin love bullmastiff HERCULES(aka specialneedsBullmastiff for blog as Im protecting his identity only to OUT him here I guess).

his knees? priceless (ok 8 grand)

we've replaced both acls.

we're fiscally irresponsible that way.

C.

Linda said...

I have lots of pets (2 dogs, 11 barn lions) but my one border collie is an awesome entertainer. You see she has her own toybox. I think she’s my way of compensating for not having children. I buy these different shaped rubber toys that all have names and she alternates like a girl with dolls. She once had a rubber duck that she’s throw in the air and catch. It wasn’t very big and one day she accidentally swallowed it. We found it a few days later (or rather she did) out in the yard totally devoid of color. Let me tell you it gives a whole new meaning to butt quack and all quacked up because we’re still not sure from which end it, it was reborn .

Linda said...

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Sarah said...

Vaughn is my two year old Beagle who's main talent is entertaining and babysitting my three year old neice. He lets her ride on him, pull on him, drag him around on the hard wood floor. He also keeps my treadmill company when I'm ignoring them both. http://maximumheartrate.blogspot.com/2008/01/sometimes-we-all-feel-like-this.html

J~Mom said...

I have nothing good to report about my wild dingo dog. She swipes whole chicken breasts and roasts. Last week she took sausage that was cooking right out of the pan. I kid you not.

Meredith said...

I have a 3 year old miniature dachshund named Emma who is the love of my life, next to my husband and running. She also took a tumble down a flight of stairs recently (read about her experience here: http://23goingon60.blogspot.com/2008/02/terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-day.html) I'm a big fan of your blog - thanks for the great stories and frequent updates.

CollegeGirl said...

I got my very first puppy in July of '07. A Maltese named Tinker. Her first birthday is March 20th this year.

As for special talents... hmm.. last weekend she pulled a case of Smirnoff Ice (well, only 5 full bottles left) across the carpeted floor to her sleeping bag. I think that's pretty special. Haha!

Lyssa Ireland Thomas said...

Sarah Jessica Barker, 4 month old satanic Goldendoodle. Able to eat a dirty diaper in one bite, has grown approximately one pound and one inch everyday day in the last two months and can pull me to the ground on our walk to chew my face off. She is AWESOME and truly frightening at the same time!

Cheryl said...

So sorry to hear of Gracie's tumble down the stairs. But she sounds like a very impressive hound with her refrigerator leaping! I thought she only layed on the couch farting all day.

My pal Cooper is a hyper Weimeraner. His talents include chasing squirrels (once he caught one and it bit him on the nose and ran away), and licking his private parts. He comes in from outdoors, I take off his coat, and he immediately turns around and licks himself, as if to reassure himself that all his parts are still there. Well, he's neutered, so he doesn't really have all his parts!

Jes said...

I have an old golden retriever named Syd. He too has gas that can clear a room. He likes to show off, especially in front of other dogs, kids, and lucky for me hot guys... Syd will take his leash from me and walk himself until he is just out of sight of said dogs/kids/hotties then drop the leash. Also, he has broken a sliding glass door with his head!