Shaking Things Up

April 19, 2008

The first time we looked at this house with our agent, I noticed something strange. With the exception of two houses, every single family on this street had either a Buick, an Oldsmobile, or a Lincoln Town Car sitting in the driveway.

I quickly surmised that the overwhelming choice of senior-mobiles meant one of two things:

1) This street is packed with young families who each inherited a car when their Grandmas recently went home to live with Jesus.

or

2) I should teach James how to flag down the Meals-on-Wheels van when he's playing in the yard. What can I say? I have a "thing" for soft foods.

My second assumption was correct. These people are as sweet as they are old--so let's just say they're really, really, really, really sweet. There's Sue, our neighbor who was recently widowed after 65 years of marriage. There's Miles, who shuffles by our house every night around seven, cups his hands around his mouth, and shouts something that I can't even begin to understand. I usually smile, offer a wave, and yell something like, "Yes Miles, it's a beautiful night!" For all I know, he could have been warning me that my ass was on fire.

And then there's Jody. We run into Jody several times a day, and every single time she says the same thing, "Your house used to be beautiful," or "Your house used to be the nicest one on the block," or "Your house used to make me envious." Well Jody, if your idea of beauty involves a naked three-year-old whacking your car with a stick while his parents lovingly fist-fight over the correct way to plant a begonia, then I have news for you--This house is about to achieve a new level of gorgeous!

Life as our neighbors know it is seriously about to change. After all, this family owns an 8-piece drum set. We also own a remote controlled monster truck, a 100-foot hose, and the newest Black Eyed Peas CD. Yesterday, I kid you not, James hosed down the mail lady's boots while I hung out in the garage organizing tools to the tune of "My Hump."

They all tell me that they love young couples with children. Well, I think they'll love the retirement community in Boca Vista even more.

14 comments:

Bahston Beans said...

At least they probably won't check your blog!

Lindsey said...

Ahhhhhhh to listen to music... I can't... because my daughter (as most girls do) has this innate ability to learn words to a song (especially a catchy one) in a nanno second. Thus MY HUMPS is pretty much..... out of the question. sigh...But I don't want her first grade teacher calling me and telling me that she was telling her class exactly what humps are... or might be...

Bertie said...

LOL! That is hilarious! We'll see how long they last:)

Cheryl said...

Well, I guess they didn't know how much they needed a little spice in their lives. Leave it to the Lawsons to add the spice!

Rob & Katy said...

nice. they're probably glad to see a young family that can shovel and rake for the. SUCKERS!

Grandma said...

Do we need to arrive after dark w/ lights off?

J~Mom said...

I think old people make the best babysitters. Now you have a whole street of them...sweet!

akshaye said...

Haha. Either they'll love or you'll be driving a Buick :) Somehow I dont think the latter's going to happen!

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Brad and Rebecca said...

i snorted reading this one...you ABSOLUTELY kill me!!!

Sue said...

We just moved into a neighborhood with no children. Or if they are here, they're locked away in dungeons or something. I don't know why we didn't check to be sure there would be other children. I mean, COME ON! (smacks head with hand)
I kind of hate it.

I'm just a regular Suzy Sunshine right now, ain't I... Sorry. I'm sure you'll LOVE your neighborhood.

Kadi, John and girls said...

I am in Hysterics!!! You are too funny. Wish we could have met some of those neighbors Saturday- we'll have to set up another time!

Heather said...

Freaking hilarious. So glad you're back!

26.2CASEY said...

hehehe
SEE living in FL is like that EVERYWHERE amy..
Great place to visit but its the land of the LIVING DEAD...
BOCA VISTA' EVERYWHERE and Funeral parlors are on every corner!!
HEHE

So girl...are we shooting for BOSTON 09....lets do-it