My Friend Jen

June 17, 2008

Every now and again I feel the strong and sudden urge to write a tribute to a friend, and today is one of those days. I'm willing to bet a million-and-ten bucks that after you read this post, you'll wish that Jen was your friend, too.

Jennifer and I went to UMaine together, fell out of touch, and six years later we randomly found ourselves living two blocks apart in a town that has no traffic light. What are the chances?

We have a highly unique friendship as Jen is my Yin and I am her Yang. Here's why:

1) I'm a Mormon, Jen is an ex-Mormon. But we're both fluent in Mocabulary (Mormon + vocabulary = Mocabulary), so we can have some really great conversations.

For example: Oh my heck, I'm really excited that the Relief Society chorister and the Second Counselor in the Bishopric are getting sealed in St. George on Saturday. They're having a reception in the Cultural Hall next weekend, and I bought them matching CTR t-shirts for a gift.

See? Most of you have no frigging clue what I'm talking about. But my friend Jen? She knows.

2) I'm a hopeless gardener, but I swear up and down that Jen has a touch of carrot DNA flowing through her veins. I have a yard with a garden, Jennifer does not. Consequently, Jennifer has become my "hippy on call" and I have a beautiful vegetable garden to show for it. When neighbors stop to ask for tips on growing broccoli, I give them Jen's cell phone number. She's fine with that.

3) I lost my greyhound and Jen found my greyhound. I made her some bacon as a thank-you gift.

4) Jen is a very cautious eater. I am not. I make her try new things like avocados, mangoes, grapefruit, gooseberries and tabouli. Sometimes she likes my food and sometimes she doesn't, but despite our differences we do share a common passion for Twinkies, ice cream, Oreos, etc.

5) Jennifer doesn't own a TV. I can watch the home shopping network until my eyes melt out of their sockets. We still haven't really settled that one.

6) Jen knits her own socks. I buy my socks in a 42-pack from KMart. She's trying to teach me to knit my own clothing, but it's not panning out so well. Last I checked, it's completely unlawful to walk around town wearing nothing but a wool purse and a half-finished hat.

7) Jen clearly annunciates her Ts, Ds, and Ns. I just like to swear a lot.

Jen is a passionate, dedicated educator. I'm still a little foggy on what I do for work. She reads the classics, I read gab mags. But somehow, somehow, it just works out. She may be oil and I may be vinegar, but seriously, between the two of us we make one kick-ass vinaigrette.

See? Aren't you a little bit jealous?