Me n' Michelle

November 18, 2008

I'm contracted as a part-time employee, but believe you me, that's a big old fat joke. In the past two weeks--in addition to my normal twenty-hour schedule--I've had five night meetings, three lunch meetings, and two afternoon meetings (I skipped both).

James is with Miss Nancy in the mornings, only during my office hours--so you can imagine that lunch engagements, the dreaded three o'clock meetings, and nighttime get togethers aren't exactly convenient for a mom like me.

But we all know that the economy licks butt right now, and jobs aren't so plentiful these days. Bottom line? I've got to make this work.

So far I've developed and implemented three successful strategies for managing the work/kid conflicts:

1) Make shiz up. For example: I'm sorry I won't be able to attend this afternoon's meeting since I'll be on a conference call with the Governor. Or: I won't be able to make it to this evening's event since I'll be recovering from my female procedure. Either way, there won't be any prying follow up questions--they'll either be too impressed or too grossed out to put their words together--I promise.

2) Recruit some help from your husband. For example: If you can't make it home early this afternoon to help with our toddler, then I won't 'give it up' again until March of 2010. And if that doesn't work: Well fine. Consider your fishing rod accidentally thrown away. Again, there won't be any follow up questions. Trust me.

3) Pull a Michelle Obama maneuver. In all honestly, I've used this technique twice in the last ten days. Remember when Michelle Obama had to bring her baby to a job interview at that hospital in Chicago? Well I've tweaked the routine to meet my own individuals needs, and hauled my toddler to a couple of public meetings. Last night, James drank all of the apple cider and sneezed on an open package of Chips Ahoy at a local DOT hearing. And the week before, he matter-of-factly announced that he needed to go poop when the moderator asked if any one in attendance had any further concerns. And that was after he put his entire mouth around the nozzle of the water fountain in front of thirty or so people.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm totally getting fired.

3 comments:

Grandma said...

Good excuses Amy! Leave it to James to time his nature call response after the "any concerns" announcement! Nice!

Michemily said...

Keep up the good work. You might want to invest in some of those chewy granola bars that keep kids' mouths full . . . ;)

Holly said...

That is the darlingest baby ever. Did you draw that? If so, look into an art career. I hear it's highly lucrative.