The Infamous Egg Incident of 2009

May 27, 2009

Let me tell you how my day started off. Actually, scratch that. Let me tell you how my day at work started off--you know, after James took thirteen minutes to put his crocs on this morning and then decided that he'd rather wear his rain boots.

So I walked into my office building eating a hard boiled egg, because hello, I'm totally classy like that. As I greeted the cleaning woman (who was shining the baseboards because she's incredible), I noticed a tag sticking out of the front of my skirt. Upon further inspection I confirmed my suspicion that yes, I was in fact wearing my clothing backwards.

With the egg in one hand and my bag in the other, I grabbed my waistband and gave it a sharp tug in an effort to rotate the skirt 180 degrees in one not-so-graceful swoop.

Yes, I successfully turned my skirt. Bu-ut, my quick flick of the wrist launched the hard boiled yolk out of my egg, off the wall and onto the floor where I promptly proceeded to step on it with my big ol' heavy body and mash it into the carpet fibers.

All of this in front of the superhuman cleaning lady. Who had just finished freshening the carpets.
And then, THEN, when I hastily bent down in an attempt to clean my mess (or at least show how much I cared), a king-sized package of peanut butter cups, one small can of prune juice, and my beloved tube of hemorrhoidal ointment rolled out of my bag and onto the floor.

All in all, I'd have to say that the egg fiasco has been the best part of my day so far. Really, things are that good over here.

Call me crazy, but it's a nice day for hiding.

16 comments:

X-Country2 said...

Bwah! You're like Britney Spears in the airport when she flug a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of Aderall out of her purse.

Cheryl said...

Oh, that's priceless! You have my sides aching and tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard! Hope the rest of your day goes better.

Hey, I almost got to meet the famous Dr. Lawson last week! Jared went fishing with Jason, and I babysat Ella. When they came back, I heard them talkig outside and was expecting them to both come in. (Me - rehearsing what to say to the famous Jared! :-)) But he got in his dang car and left! Hmmmph. How was your evening while he was gone fishing? I expected to read a post about the grumpy pregnant wife being abandoned by her fly fishing hubby.

Bahston Beans said...

Hard boiled eggs? Is that an icky pregnancy craving?

Karen said...

Love it! Was the cleaning lady laughing?

Michemily said...

Hee hee hee.

Mindy said...

I'm so sorry that you have to have such bad days to make MY days better. Thanks for the laugh this morning! :)

Running in Alabama said...

luckily, you can blame everything on pregnancy...my youngest is 15 and I still do...no one has the nerve to tell me to get over it :)

chattypatra said...

While I empathize with you abject humiliation, I think the cleaning lady is having a worse day than you. I'd watch my back! ;)

*hug*

The Roberts' Report said...

Hey don't knock the amazing powers of the "hemorrhoid cream". It can even remove puffiness around your eyes in the morning. That stuff is amazing! Soon I think everyone will be carrying it around in their bag. So...no worries!

Minnie said...

I'd love to know what on Earth the cleaning lady was thinking...

Katie said...

Placenta Brian

pam said...

haha. . . oh man. There is nothing funnier than hard-boiled eggs and hemorrhoid cream in the same story. . .

natalie said...

I would pay good money to get the security camera footage of that one! HA!

Sarah said...

Here's the great thing Amy...even though I'm positive those purse items are regular staple of yours no matter what...you can totally blame them on pregnancy and no one will think you're as weird as you actually are! :)

MB said...

HAHAHAHA ... I guess I don't feel so bad about standing at the bus stop and realizing I had my shirt on inside out or not realizing I had two different shoes on until I was leaving the office for lunch. You're lucky you can blame it on "pregnancy brain" - I don't have any excuses.
http://finallyfiguringitout.blogspot.com/2009/05/inside-out.html

Smarry said...

Very nice thanks for the sharing...........

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Smarry
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