Weekend Plans

May 29, 2009

First, if you really, truly care about choosing an internet alias for Baby Girl Lawson, then you should strongly consider voting on the issue. At last glance Velveeta and Lawlet were within two votes of one another. Very suspenseful. I'm also quite sure that there's no limit to the number of times you're able to vote in a day--so go ahead, tip the scales, it'll be fun.

Second, I've been at my office since six o'friggin clock this morning, and I'm leaving the second this clock strikes ten. I mean it.

And finally, ay yi yi, what a week it's been. I'm so glad it's Friday.

So. Glad. It's Friday.

Since my week officially sucked butt (are Mormons even allowed to say 'sucked butt'?), I'm bound and determined to make this weekend the very best weekend in the history of my life. I've yet to develop a single strategy or activity to accomplish that goal, but really guys, I'm gonna do it.

Well, actually, I take that back. I'm quite sure that my weekend will involve onion rings in some capacity, but aside from those little beauties, and a birthday party on the coast, I'm working with a completely blank slate.

And now that I think about it, Jared has been asked to give a talk to the congregation at church on Sunday, too. But honestly, that's cool.

In all sincerity, I look forward to the rare opportunity to heckle my husband from the pews of our little chapel. For example, when he makes a scriptures reference, I like to purse my lips, sorrily shake my head and mouth the words THAT WAS TOTALLY WRONG.

Or sometimes, when I'm in the right mood, I like to grab his attention with my eyes and hold up four fingers, then three, then four. You should see his face--he's got this totally desperate expression and I know he's thinking, "Why can't I crack this code right now???? It really seems important!!!!"

And obviously, it goes without saying, that when Jared makes a joke I keep the straightest face that I possibly can. I wish you could be there, because that man's confidence drains faster than a jug of kool-aid through through the crotch of my underpants. It's remarkable.

Heck guys, Sunday's looking pretty darn good as an addition to my quest for the perfect weekend...which leads me to wonder, does anyone out there have really, unbelievably, over-the-top fantastic plans for this weekend? If so, I'd definitely like to hear about them (so I can curse you under my breath).

I'd like to hear about sucky upcoming weekends, too.

Either way, I hope you all have an enjoyable one.

19 comments:

Vanilla said...

I have absolutely nothing planned for the weekend other than coaching my kids' soccer game.

Luke & Kelsie Frazier said...

I'm pretty sure your blog is my very favorite. You're hilarious. Its the kind of blog I'd want to write. But I'm not as funny as you are. Weekend: helping with a garage sale, performing manual labor for my parents on our family cabin, watching girly movies since my husband is out of town, eating lots of cereal (also because my husband is out of town), Hanging out with some friends...Not as exciting as yours, I'm sure.
Kelsie
PS- loved the egg story. Thats totally something I'd do.

Sarah said...

On Saturday I get to work.... and I have a monday to Friday 9-5 job... so I shouldn't be. Is that exciting enough for you!? :) But then Saturday night I'm crashing a bachelor party so that should be entertaining.

Rachel said...

I'm so honest, I never even thought about voting more than once, but since you said we could. . .

And as for my fabulous weekend, I'll be de-chickening the garden or would that be de-gardening the chickens. Either way, I'm kick 'em out! I've had enough!

Jimmy said...

After watching Terminator Savlation last weekend, I've decided to take the kids to the Taos Gorge to see it in person.

Katy said...

If this stomach bug continues, I plan on puking some more.

I was supposed to hit my college reunion- but I would want to look good... NOT pale and yacky.

Lauren said...

I was going to suggest you suck some butt then poor kool aid down your crotch, but it looks like you've already figured out those joys. I've got a birthday party for a 1 year old and a friend's wedding. Not too bad. There will be an open bar at one of those events.

Luke and Katie said...

nothing much planned here..soccer game, church..and hopefully baby #3 will make his appearance, but what are the odds of that happening?!

Kevin said...

We bought a new house so this weekend I will be pulling out carpet in 5 rooms to stain the concrete, gutting a pink bathroom (really pink toilet, pink tub, and pink tile) and pulling the kitchen cabinet doors so we can paint and stain them. I think even if you do nothing more than heckle Jarrod this weekend, compared to mine, yours will be great.

Christina said...

I will be celebrating my birthday (it's today!) I think we're going to go see the new night at the museum movie... *sigh* birthdays were much more fun when I was younger.

Jes said...

This weekend I only have plans to work and finish shopping for my trip, but next weekend I'LL BE IN LONDON! Woo-hoo!!! (Sorry, I'm super excited!)

Bahston Beans said...

You might want to sit Jared down before he hears our weekend plans. Seriously. Dave Matthews at Fenway on Saturday. Woot woot! If Jared makes a high enough offer, I will take Shawn's ticket away. Seriously.

chattypatra said...

Netflix finally decided to send me a copy of Australia, so I will get to see Hugh wet and shirtless. Need I say more?

The Roberts' Report said...

I'm going to get up at 530AM on Saturday morning JUST so I can go to the grocery store ALONE and have it be fully stocked from the previous night's efforts. Seriously? I'm lame!

Amy said...

Our neighborhood is hosting a Common-Area Clean-Up followed by a Review of Playground Guidelines and Neighborly Etiquette. Seriously. But after that there will be a carnival with cotton candy and pony rides and balloon animals and a magic show.

Heather said...

Weekend plans: Check out our new 'hood and Farmer's Market tomorrow. Do about 18 loads of laundry at a to be determined laundromat (always good for people watching). Unpack. Unpack. Unpack. Unpack. Curse myself for not being able to fit into my fantastic wardrobe. Unpack more. Possibly, just possibly, make it to Ikea on Sunday night right before they close. Try not to freak out over the lack of progress we're making unpacking, and the fact that my parents come to town in just one week (and are staying with us.).

Cheryl said...

Hey, I wanted to vote for Velveeta a couple hundred more times, but the poll is closed. Dang!

My awesome weekend started out at 7 this morning, when I drove down the road and raided my neighbor's junk pile. Today is our "BIG trash day". I scored four funky smelling chairs that I'm going to paint and recover the seats of. Also going kayaking with Jen today to check out a pond I might want to buy a camp on. Then maybe some onion rings! :-)

Tanwon said...

Enduring jaw pain, an ear ache, a head ache, and the swollen left side of my face until Monday for my dentist appointment and pain killers . . . and eventually on Thursday for an appointment to have my impacted wisdom teeth removed. Oh, and then pick up my car from the shop where the old man went ahead and made expensive repairs on an old car that I was planning on selling in two months. Word.

Smarry said...

Very nice thanks for the sharing..........

___________________
Smarry
The only Satellite Television Delivers the Best Value in Entertainment