Colorful New Neighbors

June 10, 2009

Anytime you go into business for yourself, there are risks. They range from small things like choosing the wrong paint color, to the big things like losing cash, assets, your house, your credit score, your shirt--you know, the stuff you can't take to heaven with you anyway.

On the other hand, when you go into business for yourself, there are some pretty serious benefits, too. For example, it's 100% guaranteed that you'll never be laid off, no one ever has to approve your vacation plans, and there's absolutely no question as to whether or not you'll be able to attend your son's school presentation at 2:15 on a Tuesday--and that memory, the one of my kid spelling the word barn with the letters F-A-R-T, that's sure to carry over into the afterlife.

Ups and downs, goods and bads-- it's just like everything else in life.

This week, Jared and I have been faced with a bump, a down, a trial, a poopastic hand of cards--call it what you will. But, bu-ut, I'm bound and determined to be a good sport, make the very best of this situation, and work it in our favor.

When we leased Jared's office space, he was sandwiched between two upscale hair salons and adjacent to the funkiest restaurant in town. Excellent. He was across the street from an eye doctor, who's next door to a wine & gift shop, who's next door to a pizza shop. Also excellent.

We knew we were taking a risk, moving into a downtown area that wasn't completely thriving, but definitely on the upswing. "Let's be part of the solution," we thought, "let's do it." So we signed the lease, hung our shingle, and commenced with the cracking of backs.

After we moved in and starting giving driving directions to Jared's patients over the phone, we learned something new--we weren't renting the old Greyhound Bus building like we'd previously thought, we were actually inhabiting the former space of an adult book store. According to his baby-boomer patient base, it was "the best damn dirty bookshop this city's ever seen."

The word on the street tells us that it's also been a shoe store and a computer training center. Anyway you slice it, thank goodness we ripped out the carpeting. Anywho, we love our former XXX book store location. The renovations are beyond beautiful and so far, it's serving us quite well.

But here comes the challenge...

About a month ago, the hair salon to the right of Jared's office up and left for new rental space. Fair enough, but I was bummed. After all, they were fantastic haircutters and really fun neighbors for Jared--but most of all, that FOR LEASE sign was freaking me out big time.

Deep in my heart I was hoping to see a candy shop or a high-powered personal injury attorney move in next door, but, as with most things in life (including my bowels and bladder), this situation was totally and completely out of my control.

Welp, yesterday afternoon, Jared had the pleasure (no seriously, he says that they were super, super nice) of meeting the two young men who will be opening their business right next door. Their names are Something and Something Else (Jared sucks with names), and they're tattoo artists.

When Jared called to tell me, I was like, "WHHHAAATTTT!!!!????" Then, after I had a chance to catch my breath and sop the urine off my kitchen floor, our conversation went something like this...

JARED: I swear Amy, they seem like great guys.
ME: Great guys who are naming their tattoo parlor 'Discount Scrotum Art' or great guys who are naming their tattoo parlor 'Main Street Ink?'
JARED: I don't know, I didn't ask.
ME: Well there's a big difference between those names Jared.
JARED: Right now the contractor is painting the walls bright red. But don't worry, it's not an evil red.
ME: Red? Oh geesh! What's their sign look like? Are we talking a spray-painted boob on a hunk of plywood, Jared?
JARED: I don't know, it's not up yet.
ME: Did they learn how to tattoo while incarcerated?
JARED: Okay, that's enough.

And the conversation went on for about sixty-two more minutes.

So, I've slept on it, and I'm feeling a whole lot better this morning. Tattoos schmattoos--as long as it's not a dive, this whole situation should be fine. And based on the not-cheap rent they're probably paying, and super-cheap rent they could have gotten one block away, I think it's safe to assume that these are upscale tattoos--no Bic pens involved.

With that said, I have made a list. It's my list of great things about working next to a tattoo shop.

1. I like tattoos.
2. I love Kat Von D.
3. Maybe they'll make this place into another tv show.
4. Perhaps tattoo artists have terrible backs and excellent insurance coverage.
5. I think that tattoo artists and clean-cut Mormon chiropractors are a virtual match made in heaven as far as friendship goes.
6. Maybe these guys have fantastic wives who will want to be my friends.
7. I bet they're fun.
8. Maybe I'll have them pierce my nose.
9. I need some spice in my life.
10. Increased traffic is never a bad thing, right?

Go ahead, give me an 11, 12, 13, and 14 in the comment section. Please. Please?
Thank you.

...and this officially concludes the hundreth post in my ongoing series of negitive-nelly musings. Tomorrow? Unabashed happieness-- I guarentee it.


chattypatra said...

11. The motorcycles parked outside the tattoo parlor will guarantee that thieves stay away from the area!

Rhien Family said...

12. Jared could get a wicked spine tattoo all down his back. It would be a great conversation starter at the pool/beach.

Rhien Family said...

careful when googling spine tattoo...

Sarah said...

There's a good chance they have friends who are into extreme sports - they definitely have back issues!!

RazZDoodle said...

13) You'll have TONS of blog material now.

TUWABVB said...

14. Many people who get tatoos also ride motorcycles. Many motorcycles have handle bars that require the drives to lean over for long periods of time. Thus causing back problems. Thus requiring chiropractic remedies! Brilliance! I think you should think of some sort of promotion to tie into the grand opening of the tatoo parlor. You might get a lot of new customers!

Honestly, I can understand your first reaction, but tatoo parlors are such popular gathering spots now. And it seems like they are all competing to make the nicest interior. I think it will be great!

JAMIE said...

I worked on a Main St that sound eerily familiar to yours....and guess who moved in across the street from the Main St Chiropractor, Doc Rock....Happy Valley Tattoo, yep. They stayed for about a year and I think they realized that Main St wasn't as happening as they had hoped. They changed locations, and now that building is empty again. :) You can hope for so much.

Besides if your clientele liked the dirty bookstore, maybe they'll stop by for an adjustment before they get their dead cousin's name tattoo'd on their arm. It could be good for business. ;)

Vanilla said...

Maybe they can fix the wings on your ankles, make them look better. I'm pretty sure you once posted about them not looking so great, and if not then how do I know this about you?

X-Country2 said...

"It's not evil red". Ha!

Jimmy said...

For your 4th of July float, you could let folks that were familiar with the dirty bookstore know that they can still come down to your place for a little "T and A" -- Tattoos AND Adjustments.

(Sorry if that's incredibly lame.)

Anonymous said...

Jimmy totally got to the T & A comment before me! I would be a bit worried myself, but then again Miami Ink is awesome, so you might get lucky.

Anonymous said...

Remember the guys on Miami Ink always were complaining about how bad their backs were messed up from being hunched over all day tattooing.

miss petite america said...

tattoo artists totally have bad backs. there actually as an episode on miami ink about one of the dudes.

Owens Family Adventures said...

Got one for ya....
Number 11 - bikers get tatoos. Bikers fall off bikes. They hurt their backs. They will remember your business when they awaken in the hospital by a doctor telling them they need to find a good chiropractor. :) See!! Win win for you guys!!!

Wild Banks' said...

My Tattooed Man of a brother is my kids' favorite uncle-
15. James gets some exciting new role models who have had very interesting lives and (90% of the time) will make sure he knows to NEVER get a tattoo.

Mel said...

Most artists charge between 100-150 bucks an hour so they should be paying their bills on time.

Really I would say that 90% of tattoo/piercing places are really clean and nice. They have to be to stay open since they need to have sterilization and gloves etc.

-Mel, several tattoos and piercings and more in the planning and you like me :)

Anonymous said...

Very nice ........... thank you for sharing your nice feelings..........

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