He May be Gone, But He'll Always Creep Me Out

June 26, 2009

I'm still sitting in the supply closet, using the computer that seems to have been salvaged from the Sputnik Space Shuttle in 1957. Now if I could just manage to find a poodle skirt and a pair of roller skates, I'd be all the rage.

So it's June 26, 2009 and Michael Jackson is no longer with us. And no, this will most certainly not become one of my heartfelt and contemplative posts.

I'm not planning to mince words here, folks--that man thoroughly creeped me out. From the Neverland Ranch, to the 493 nose jobs (which he claimed he never had), to the baby named Blanket, I simply never got Michael Jackson.

I got that the moonwalk was cool, and I got that Man in the Mirror was a tear jerker of a song, I even got the King of Pop title. But Michael? Above all else, you gave me the willies.

(Now his sister on the other hand, the one with the bangin' legs who let her hooter slip out at the Super Bowl? She remains on my cool list.)

I still remember the very first time he skeeved me out. I must have been three years old, and I was listening to the 'Thriller' record in our teeny, little living room. I picked up the album cover (click here to see the artifact first hand), locked eyes with Michael, and cried when I realized that a tiny, mini version of that guy was dancing around inside of my record album. (Remember? When you were three? And you thought a miniature band was actually playing instruments inside the vinyl?... No? You don't? Well you suck.)

I hid the album cover under the couch and cried for three days straight. Then I cried for three more days. And three days after that. But I guess the extended crying was due to the fact that I was a pain-in-the-ass of a child--not because of any Michael induced fears.

But really now, even with all of my personal childhood behavior issues aside, after he lost the afro and the babyface, Michael Jackson became one seriously creepy dude.

In spite of the fact that he induced heebie-jeebies like no other person on the planet, I'm still sorry for Michael Jackson and his family that his life was cut short at the age of 50. Any way you slice it, that's way too young to die. And any other way you slice it, he was a revolutionary musician in his day.

So rest in peace Michael Jackson, may you stay on my radio, but out of my dreams for the rest of eternity.

13 comments:

Grandma said...

great Amy..now you tell me. If you want to shiver in your black shoes and white sox, check my blog.

Hilary said...

Without doubt, the best post I've read on the topic.

Taren said...

perfect. couldn't have said it better myself. i even linked you because i didn't want to try and explain the weird relationship i think a lot of us had with mj, so i just let you do it instead! ;)

Michemily said...

Yes, I used to call him Michaela.

Amber Lynae said...

That is totally my feelings on the topic. I love a lot of his music, in that department I appreciate his work, other than that he was creepy. I do feel sorry for his family and those close to him for the loss.

Melanie said...

Thank you! Couldn't have said it better myself! He was great in the 80's but anything past that he was very disturbing.

John and Laura said...

This post gave me hiccups I was laughing so hard. Thanks?

--lurking in WA

chattypatra said...

Oh, Amy...only you. Hahahahahaha!

X-Country2 said...

Perfect. He was a nutjob, but 50 is too young to die.

blaine said...

He and Ed McMahon are on the other side passing out millions. Could you imaging MJ and Ed as angels? I think that is more creepy...

Our Little World said...

ITA

theloosemoose said...

Well said.

Smarry said...

i even linked you because i didn't want to try and explain the weird relationship i think a lot of us had with mj, so i just let you do it instead

___________________
Smarry
The only Satellite Television Delivers the Best Value in Entertainment