One Month Old: Tales from the Very Over-Tired

November 12, 2009

As of Tuesday, Maggie is one month old and just as sweet as ever.

See?


I know. She's so cute it makes you wonder what's wrong with your own kids.

Aside from being captivatingly beautiful, Maggie is a total and complete night owl--consequently I've become a straight-up spaz. I cry when Jared leaves for work, I cry when Jared comes home from work, I cry when I drop super heavy things on my toes, and sometimes I even cry when I eat too much pie.

Lack of sleep is so not pretty on me.

Aside from being all weepy, I'm confused as heck. For example, last week when I walked out of Sam's club, I pushed the cart over toward my car and said, "That's not my car. My car doesn't have that black stripe on the bottom." So I picked a car a few rows over--same make and model, very different color--and tried like hell to unlock it. I was madly pressing on my key chain, cursing at its brokenness, as my actual car flashed and beeped behind my back.

Finally I was like, "Who's that butt head who won't stop beeping?! I think I'll kick 'im in the balls." I turned around to get a look at his face, and sure enough, it was me. I was the butt head--the super sleep deprived butt head.

So I got in my car and cried. Obviously.

Or what about Monday? Monday was awesome.

I drove to the bank and withdrew a hundred bucks in cash. I put the wad in my center console, just like I always do (thieves, please take note), and drove into town--or the Burger King drive-thru, but whatever, those details are personal.

When I reached into my console to find money to pay for my water and small side salad--or my onion rings and Whopper, but whatever, those details are personal too--I was like, "NO SPANKIN' WAY!!!! I JUST FOUND A HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!! THIS IS THE BEST. DAY. EVER."

I pulled up to the window to pay and the lady was like, "Here you go. Have a nice day."

And I was all, "I just found a hundred dollars! I'm having the nicest day ever! I hope you find lot of money, too."

Then it dawned on me--I didn't actually "find" that money, I had withdrawn it twenty minutes earlier, and it was set aside for groceries, and diapers, and fun-sized Snickers bars, and other essentials.

Huge bummer. Huge enough in fact, to make me cry.

But dude. Seriously. How cute is she?????

19 comments:

Sarah said...

Oh the wonderful, sleep deprived, hormonal bliss of nre babyhood! Love that quilt she's laying on by the way!

Amy said...

Thanks Sarah...I made it!

Amy said...

She IS so cute. Cling to that.

Morgan Hagey said...

You poor dear. I am just NOW starting to get some sleep after 7 months of none. I feel your pain. At 3 months post-partum, I loaded up and drove my boys all the way across town to swimming lessons, immediately after reading an email that had CANCELLED it. Yup, read the email, saw it said, "NO SWIMMING LESSONS" and still went. GENIUS!

Anita said...

The sleep deprivation is just getting you prepared for those blessed teenage years...they will be here before you know it!

Michelle Glauser said...

I just want to squeeze those cutesy little chicken legs.

X-Country2 said...

God, I can't WAIT to have kids. :o)

Karen said...

I am laughing my head off! At least you have a good excuse for forgetting things....my "baby" is 28 years old and I still do things like that!

amylouwhosews said...

Maggie = Adorable
You = Hilarious!

Marissa said...

L-O-V-E it!
And yes she is absolutely darling.

Marissa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
funderson said...

Heck...I do that kind of stuff all the time sleep deprived or not. Maggie is SO pretty!

Patti said...

She is sooo adorable! You are sooo funny! Thanks for always brightening my day:)

Anonymous said...

I love your blog Amy and I have for a few years! I just wanted you to know that I nominated you for a web award on http://mashable.com/owa/categories

in the people, best blogger to follow category. Thanks for always keeping me entertained!

JAMIE said...

She is cute, and sleep deprivation ends, eventually! I hope you find a real $100. :)

Grandma said...

Karen, that's my excuse,too!

Maggie .....you are very cute...if I do say so myself. The swing thing skipped a generation,huh?!that quilt is so pretty Amy!

Grandma said...

meant sewing thing....not swing thing:)

Lindsay said...

It made me feel so good to read this! I had a baby about two weeks before you. A week ago I told my husband I thought the emotional/hormonal stuff was under control. I wondered why he didn't say something like "Yes, isn't it great dear."

I do believe I've cried nearly every day since then. Apparently I'm still so off balance (and TIRED) I don't even know I'm falling over.

Amy said...

I still do this stuff and my youngest is almost 3.

She is so cute!