Simply Suckalicious

November 16, 2009

Jared just informed me that my blog is headed south down the pooper on the express train. It's lame, it's ignored, it's all about the children.

I don't know where he gets off saying thing kind of stuff to me. I mean, he got a D+ in physics during his sophomore year of college (while he was a physics major, mind you) and you don't see me broadcasting that kind of embarrassment up and down the internets.

Jared would like you all to know that he got an A- on his second go 'round.

I would like you all to know that he once peed on my back a little bit while we were dating.

Anyway...

So fine. I get it. My blog sucks. My blog mega sucks. I suck.

Tomorrow, I vow to you, my fun and frisky readers, that I will step away my Weight Watchers points, I will step away from my daytime television, and I will step away from all of my parental responsibilities to produce a blog post that will actually make you laugh. Imagine that.

Just keep in mind, if James wanders off to the photo counter at Rite Aid and Maggie's belly gets so empty that she starts drinking blue Gatorade, it's your own damn fault.

And really now, have you seen a baby who's raised on super sugary drinks? Mmm yeah--let's just say they grow up to wear a lot of beer t-shirts and blaze orange.

Thanks a lot.

See you tomorrow.

23 comments:

Karen said...

I don't mind hearing about the children! And tell Hubby he shouldn't give you nasty comments, only nice ones.

Christina said...

Every post you write is hilarious! You should put up a post with nothing but embarrassing facts about Jared - that'll teach him to open his trap about your blog!! :) I really love that you can poke fun at him on your blog. My hubby demands that all things about him be omitted from my posts. It's annoying.

Bootchez said...

YOU <----not sucky, ever.
ME <----reading all the time no matter what you post about.
MY BOYFRIEND <----farted on my leg, very early in our relationship.

Runner Tammy said...

Whatever you have posted on previously has been GOLD...don't worry about what the hubby says. I have no children but your stories are really amusing and make my husband and I practice really safe "relations" just to ensure we stay this way because we can barely take care of ourselves. In fact we would be totally screwed without duct tape, krazy glue and the ability to laugh.

TX Mommy 2 said...

well, I think you're hilarious and get a kick out of your blog! and I just recently started reading.

Hurricanehol said...

I ditto Bootchez's post (minus the farting boyfriend!)

Annette said...

Oh Amy, your blogs ALWAYS make me laugh! You just keep being you! Jared obviously doesn't know funny! :)

Amy said...

I'm new here (HI) and I think it's hilarious.

Morgan and Derek said...

You're doing just fine. :) Sometimes, it IS all about the kids.

Sue said...

Tell Jared to suck on it.

(Is that inappropriate to say? I think that might be inappropriate.)

(Oh well.)

Cheryl said...

Jared has no sense of humor. Your blog always makes me snort or pee or laugh out loud. Write about whatever you want!

Grandma said...

ummm...did he say this before or after he asked you to carry the tv?

Campbell said...

Just inform Jared that the next time he chooses to comment on your blog he better push out a 7+ lb child first :) Take your time and enjoy your little ones because right now I have a couple of teenagers I would be willing to sell for some chocolate!

Kimi said...

My advice...cause I know you're dying to hear it. Kick Jared straight in the butt...then post everything embarrassing thing you can about him. And hey if there isn't much you can always make it up.

Michelle said...

Ha-Ha! Amy, you are a riot! And I second the comment-er that said do a post with all embarrassing stories about Jared! LOL

funderson said...

Brother Lawson can wax it.
You rule..

Jared said...

Ok just a few of things. 1. I got an A on the second go-round not an A-. 2. I wasn't a physics major. 3. I never peed on you Amy! And my beef with the blog is that I hadn't seen a post in like a week. I am just looking out for all of you, her loyal readers trying to make sure that they have material to read.

Amy said...

Man J...it's like they're tying you to a mailbox and whipping you! You did too pee on me!
I love you !

pam said...

um. . . you just had a baby (you can use that excuse for up to 18 years). I didn't even post about HAVING my baby until she was like 4 months. So I think you still rock the blog-o-sphere.
p.s.
I need the pee story. . .

X-Country2 said...

Aww, I think all your posts are great.

Loralei said...

I think that the readers should hear both sides of this alledged peeing incident, and then we can decide who is telling the truth! :)

Michemily said...

He peed on your back a little bit? What?

And I don't mind the parenting posts.

Amber Lynae said...

I think your blog is always entertaining.

Mine right now is slowly dying. My excuse. I moved...yeah bad excuse. Oh well. I'm working on some CPR.