Grammie's Got a Blackberry

February 25, 2010

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this before, but I live in the same town as my in-laws. Now before you get all "BOO!, HISS!, MOTHERS-IN-LAW!, EVIL LADIES!, SATAN'S SEX KITTENS!," let me assure you that I love my in-laws.

No, scratch that. I adore my in-laws.

Seriously, my mother and father-in-law are really great people. They invite me for dinner any time they're having pot roast, they courtesy-laugh at every single one of my crude and inappropriate dinner jokes, and they always send me home with the leftovers--every little dripping.

And then? The best part? I keep the Tupperware. Honestly, every last one of my key pieces once said "MEREDITH LAWSON" on the inside of the lid.

Apparently she started labeling her containers in an effort to help them find their way home.

Apparently I also own a Sharpie marker, and it's surprisingly easy to change a capital R to a capital B, and a capital O to a capital P. Trust me folks, that whole "out of sight, out of mind" thing is right on the mark. When your lids say "MEBEPURH HAW8PN" instead of "MEREDITH LAWSON," it reduces the guilt factor by a margin of 100%.

Now don't get me wrong here, I love my in-laws for more than just their [very valuable, name brand] Tupperware. I also love them for their good looks, their big hearts, their superior DNA, and their constant willingness to help.

For example, this morning, when I had a very important work meeting to get to, and a very constipated four-year-old boy on my toilet (as James cared to describe it: my poop is definitely there, but it's definitely unavailable), I called my in-laws in an absolute panic.

I was like, "Hi. Me. Meeting. Commissioner of important state department. In an hour. James can't poop. He's crying. It's unavailable. HELP!"

And my father-in-law, bless his ever-charitable soul, was all, "Oh. Constipation? No problem. Should I come over and sit with him?" Then, as if that weren't enough--because trust me it was--my mother-in-law gifted my son with a gallon-sized Ziploc filled to the brim with prunes.

I made it to my meeting on time, James pooped (a three-footer according to his description), and all is well with the world.

I. Love. These. People.

This afternoon, I was hanging around their house, waiting for the pot roast to cook, when my mother-in-law came home with a really curious looking box. As soon as she turned her back, I lifted the lid and peeked inside--I'm nosy like that. I closed the lid, looked at my sister-in-law and said, "Oh dude. Grammie's got a Blackberry."

When she walked back into the room, my sister-in-law was like, "I didn't know you like to text."

And Meredith, was like, "I don't. But I have this Blackberry, and I have these magnifying glassing, so I'm planning to start."

Well okay then.

An hour or so later, after the pot roast was carefully packed into the latest addition to my Tupperware collection, I moved into the living room and assumed my normal position--on the couch, right between good 'ol Robb & Mere.

Now I know it might seem strange to snuggle up between Robb and Meredith, but you've got to understand, they have a brand new Lazy Boy couch, and the prime real estate (you know, the seats that recline), are on the ends--which leaves me with MIL to the left, and FIL on the right.

And what a night it was to be nestled.

Meredith was like, "Robb! Call me on my new Blackberry!"

And Robb was all, "What?!"

"I said: Use your SMART PHONE to call me on my new BLACKBERRY!"

And he was like, "What're you saying?! I can't hear you, Meredith!!!"

So I leaned over and I was like, "If you call her on her new Blackberry, you guys won't have to scream across the couch at each other."

So he dialed her up.

Her phone rang, she looked at the number and didn't recognize it. Then, she picked up, and in her very sweetest voice she was like, "Hello?"

"Well hi Meredith. I'm calling you from my smart phone. Can you hear me?"

And Meredith goes, "I can hear you just fine. Now who's this?"

I'm not gonna lie--I thoroughly enjoy watching Baby Boomers dabble in technology. Oh, and have I mentioned? I really, really love those people.