So, remember my mystery church calling?
Well, the Branch President finally announced it to the congregation, which means I can finally announce it to you guys. Which makes it feel that much more real.
(hold on a second, let me just crap in my pants before I tell you...)
Here in the Mormon world, we have this thing called Seminary, and let me just say that it's completely different than the Catholic and Protestant versions. Seminary isn't a place for future pastors to earn their master's degrees, Seminary is a religious education class for high school students--a daily religious education class.
Out West, where Mormons are just about as common as house plants, Seminary is usually worked into the school day. As in:
Period 1: Math
Period 2: English
Period 3: Seminary
Period 4: Lunch
That whole concept just makes me giggle. Up here in New England, we don't even talk about Santa Claus in the public schools, and you can bet your ass that the Easter Bunny would offend the masses like you woudn't believe. So Seminary? At school? I can't even imagine it.
Plus, in the ten nearby towns (three high schools), there's a total of ten-or-so Mormon high school aged kids. That would be a pretty lonely class.
So back here in the East, we clump the kids together and teach the class at someone's house.
This school year, as I'm sure you've come to realize, they're coming to my house, and I'm the one who'll be teaching them
So, to sum it up, ten kids are coming to my house every school day for an hour long religion class. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, class starts at six o'clock.
In the morning.