A Marriage Tip...Among Other Things

December 30, 2010

I've taken the last day or so to simmer down, and I'm over it. Not my ill-will toward WalMart, just my heart ache/barfitude over the situation. I really do hope the Random Acts of Christmas man magically stumbles across yesterday's post, but if not, maybe one of you guys won't be as quick to take a crap on a good Samaritan as I was. I thought about writing an editorial to my local paper to help me find this guy, but the last thing I want is for 'Jan' to get busted and lose her job. I did, however, send the post to peopleofwalmart.com--I really couldn't fight the urge.

In other news, a few people have asked me to put the 'follow' widget on the side of my blog. I kind of hate that idea, but I guess I'll do it. If you click to follow my blog through the widget, it will automatically dump the link into your Google Reader, or do something else....I have no idea. But please, please click to follow--the widget's so new, and my following looks so weak, and I'm feeling so vulnerable today. I did also add the new 'popular posts' widget--you know, to offset the whole 'not enough people love me' thing.

And finally, Jared and I found ourselves knee deep in a marital spat this morning. Nothing major, just the typical 'You don't know how to love me!...Oh yeah, well your mother told me that you're adopted!' kind of thing. As usual, it ended in the silent treatment....

 Me silently making Jared's lunch, Jared silently driving away, Jared silently driving back to get said lunch since I never told him about it because we weren't talking, silently kissing each other good bye and then silently wiping our lips like five year old since we forgot how mad we were at each other.

Don't you even pretend like you're not familiar.

Well today, I'm happy to say that I've found a way to bring the silent treatment to a whole new level: silent phone calls. I know, it's freaking brilliant.

Thirty-or-so minutes ago, my phone rang. It was Jared. "What to do?" I asked myself? "We're not talking."

And then came the moment of inspiration. I answered the call, and said absolutely nothing--just a little throat clearing so he knew I was there.

Ten seconds later he was like, "Hello?"

I cleared my throat again.

Ten more seconds later he was all, "Amy? You there? I think I hear you."

Finally, after a whole minute, I piped up and said, "I was trying to give you the silent treatment. But you screwed it up."

You should all try it. You can also place silent phone calls, send silent texts, silent facebook messages, the options are endless.

You're welcome.