The Lawsons did Dallas!

Ok, ok...sorry for the delay. Computer issues.

Flashback
September 12, 2007

This morning, like most mornings, Jared was talking about fly fishing. He turned to me at breakfast and casually said, "Hey, I heard about a place in Connecticut that I want to fish when we're at your parents' house over Christmas. It's called Colebrook. Have you heard of it?"

Wow. Let's talk about a horrible, horrible flashback:

It was the spring on '91 and I was in the fifth grade. It was a good season, as I had just acquired my very first pair of designer jeans. They were dark blue, with tiny white polka dots, zippers up the ankles, a button fly, and of course, the famous Guess insignia. They were oozing with 100% fabulousness. My mom broke down and bought me those beauties at the LaSalle Shop's going out of business sale. I thought they looked particularly nice with my imitation Keds and my cropped white sweater--you know, the one with the giant bow on the back.

I loved this outfit so much, that I snuck it along on my fifth grade overnight trip to where else? Colebrook.

It was a nature's classroom kind of thing, so we were supposed to pack things like raincoats, rainboots, comfortable jeans, warm sweatshirts and mittens. But not me. I packed my Guess jeans.

The trip stunk. It was at some strange abandoned summer camp featuring a "lake" that was more of a mud puddle, half-a-dozen deflated basketballs, and a hopscotch square. If I remember correctly, it's the famous place where I said my first swear--something to the effect of "Get me out of this hell hole!"

I vividly remember being so bored that my friend Kellee and I pretended to be in the army. Yes, we played military.

"SIT DOWN!" she'd command.

"YES SIR!" and I'd sit.

"AT EASE RECRUIT."

I was like, "Kellee, we hate it here."

She was like, "I know."

Later that afternoon, my entire class was standing in the mud puddle, listening to some lame-o lesson about bug babies...or some kind of crap like that. It was completely freezing, but I was too darn cool to wear my Thinsulate mittens (remember those?).

All of the sudden, in the middle of the lesson, I had to pee--very, very badly.

I bolted into the bunk house, unzipped my jacket, and threw it to the ground in a tizzy. I could barely hold my pee in--I was about to blow. I grabbed my button fly and made a futile attempt to undo it, but my fingers were frozen and had become totally, completely useless. I had no motor control, so a even a zipper fly would have been an utter impossibility.

I whimpered, I cried, I swore for the second time in my life, and then I peed in my Guess jeans. And then all over my coat.

I walked back to the mud puddle, rolled around, and told my teacher that I had taken a nasty fall.

I looked back at Jared, fighting my traumatized expression, and in a very dishonest moment I said, "Colebrook....hmm. Doesn't ring a bell. Nope, I've definitely never heard of it...really."