August 26, 2008You know what I'm doing right now? I'm sitting in my office, listening to a recently uncovered 15-year old mix tape.
It's amazing how a couple of songs by Guns n' Roses, and Boyz II Men can instantly send me back to my thirteen year old self. But trust me, it's a time in my life that I'd love to relive. Unlike most people, middle school was my heyday--I always had a boy by my side, a party invitation in my backpack, and six miniature donettes in my belly.
I also had a locker laced with moldy sandwiches and bangs the size of China--but somehow, those details never stood between me and social acceptance. I suppose I was lucky--very, very lucky.
I would have to say that one of my fondest middle school memories is of my 98 pound boyfriend. He played the trumpet like a rockstar, owned almost 100 CDs, and earned a hefty allowance that he often put toward the purchase fabulous gifts for his girlfriend. Really ladies, what wasn't to love?
On top of all of those positive attributes, he was a boy who took our relationship very seriously. At least that's what I took away from his eighth-grade yearbook comment that read...
Dear Amy,
I sincerely hope I marry you someday.
Love,
Craig
In between work calls today, I decided to sign on to Facebook and search for my old flame. Well, he was there, and when I read his "About Me" description I felt a little bit faint and audibly muttered the words, "Oh sh*t, Craig. We were supposed to get married!"
Then I called Jared at work...
JARED: Hello?
ME: Oh my word, do you know what my eighth grade boyfriend is doing?
JARED: Uh....no. I guess I don't.
ME: He just graduated from business school, Jared. Yale business school. YALE BUSINESS SCHOOL!
JARED: Wow, that's impressive. My eighth grade girlfriend has three kids from three different dads and is trying to get her GED.
ME: Jared, I almost married this guy. Seriously, he wanted to marry me! I'm so mad at myself.
JARED: For what?
ME: For letting him break it off in ninth grade! Do you think he'll take me back!? Seriously, do you think he will!?
JARED: Probably not, babe. You're married and pregnant. Maybe you can just say hi to him at your reunion.
ME: Do you think he'll give me a gift?
And that's when Jared hung up on me.
Out of curiosity....do you know what your middle school flame is up to these days? If so, post it in the comments.
24 comments:
He pestered me and pestered me to marry him, even though I was already engaged to a new man. So he went through a party phase before buckling down and starting a very successful business that would have me sitting very pretty. But he found another bimbo. I saw a picture. He would have done better with me! (Not that I sit around fawning over what could have been. I do sorta like hubs, and even more now that he's shooting blanks!)
Apparently I had an obsession (which began in 8th grade and continued through the end of high school) with men with generic names. Seriously. All three of them have hugely generic and thus popular names and I can't find a hint of any of them! It's so frustrating (although my junior high boyfriend was dating my best friend's sister-in-law for a while. He wanted to get married, she dumped him. That's what he gets for waiting outside my detention to break up with me. And I knew it was coming and delayed leaving detention FOREVER.). Aren't you glad you asked?
Well, one of them turned out gay (NOT BECAUSE OF ME!), the other one, his older brother, is married. As for the twin brothers I dated...they are punk rockers with Bright BLUE hair..and yes, ALL of them were LDS. (I sound like a hussy, but you have to remember my middle school WAS 6th, 7th AND 8th grade! Three full years... :)
Is that how successful chiropractors in Maine answer their business phone..."hello?"
Not "Lawson Chiropractic" or "Please hold for Dr. Lawson"?
I don't have any ex-girlfriends.
Your ex boyfriend just graduated from Yale business school?
So what, YOU have a husband who makes you call him "Doctor"
I prefer to block out everything about junior high, except perhaps for the donettes.
My middle school girlfriend is a lesbian now... I hope it wasn't something I said?
Mine is a district attorney in Texas - pretty conservative. Probably couldn't handle me now :)
My middle school crush is nowhere to be found, but my high school boyfriend is gay and living in Ft. Lauderdale with his partner and a beagle.
No middle school sweeties for me. But I would love to know if you actually had that conversation with your hubby!!?? I absolutely LOVE your sense of humor and plan to visit regularly whenever I need a lil lift. :)
I think I win the prize for most committed middle school girlfriend, since we were together until senior year! whoa, I know-super love!
He's got his own construction company, a wife and two boys. That's all I really know.
I can still remember him singing Guns-n-Roses constantly-and being hot, he was pretty hot. Ah, the Levi's and black Nikes with a gold swoosh...
Craig was fab. I remember dragging you to the guidance counselor when you broke up. You were a freshman, I was a senior. You were on your 5th or so boyfriend, I didn't know what a boyfriend was.
Oh Craig..if you're out there, remember the haunted house..was that fun or what? the scariest one ever! Amy and I still thank you for bravely going in ahead of us!
Good lord, I can't even remember the last name of my middle school flame. Then again, maybe I've forgotten this detail for a reason...
He's married to the girl he dated immediately after I dumped him for another guy. They have twin sons about 2 or 3 years old. He does something with computers. He was SO smart that way.
I decided to break things off after my boyfriend dedicated the ol' starship song "Sarah" to me at our jr high dance. While we were dancing he sang/whispered directly in my ear "storms separate in your eyes" which he followed up with a nice wet-willie (ahh the romance). It was not effective on a late bloomer such as myself. I was much more interested in the king size Symphony bar with toffee bits he had brought me then anything that had to do with his sexy braces. If I were to find out that he is now the president of Ben & Jerry's or Godiva or something like that I might consider suffering through a lifetime of his tongue in my inner ear but other than that, I've never looked back.
My middle school boyfriend is now a Cage Fighter! LOL
I broke up with him by leaving a letter in his locker and watching him read it from my locker about 7 down.
Well, there's no such thing as middle school back in PR. My High School loves? Let's see...one is a medical doctor, another an officer with the Air Force, and the other one a mechanical engineer. None of them were my serious boyfriends, so I guess it doesn't matter!
I didn't have an actual middle school boyfriend because I was too much of a nerd. However, in the middle school summers, I went to band camp where I was suddenly the coolest kid around. And according to Facebook, my double instrument playing boyfriend (French horn AND violin... woo) is... holy moly he lives in NYC too - maybe it's time to rekindle that flame!
You are so mean! Poor Jared! No serious junior high boyfriends here.
My middle school boy friend is now a very out homosexual. As far as I know he spends a lot of time at the airport and dying his hair blonde. We were not supposed to get married, but I still feel that I dodged a bullet there.
Oh my goodness! YOu are too funny. Now I want to look all my middle age boyfriends up. I think I had 3 if you count the boy I kissed on a "dare."
That is so funny...and yes, the music memories! I love our radio's flashback at noon bit...those were the good ole' days. I will never forget when I got my "swatch watch" and a "Pasta" sweater for Christmas. I was SMOKIN' hot!!
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