Bringing Home the Bacon

November 14, 2007

I'm off to work, and I'm feeling kind of bummed about it. You see, lazy crappers like me don't like to go to work. We'd rather just sit at home all day, sipping Sonic milkshakes and reflect upon how guilty we feel for not doing laundry.

I'll get my post up tonight. But in the mean time, here are a few original haikus for your reading pleasure:

I love Doritos
I would eat them every day
But it costs too much

My friend Beth is great
She babysat James last night
And gave him a bath

I don't like pork chops
Pork chops for dinner tonight
Life is very tough

One more:

Happy twenty-sixth
Have a beer for the Mormon
My dear Kristina

And now, you can go ahead and leave an original haiku in the comment section. The writers of my three favorite poems will each win a fabulous prize!


Anonymous said...

Your blog is the best
Doritos give me heart burn
Now I am hungry

Anonymous said...

Amy loves her family
She'd rather spend time with them
Than do laundry

Ugh! I better keep my day job!


Amy said...

Jump hop skip dance prance
Richard Simmons in short pants
What a manly man

Felicia said...

My house is a disaster
I'm behind in my work
Maybe Amy has a new post

J~Mom said...

I don't know what you do at your job
For all I know you could work for a snob
You need to tell me or I will cut my hair in a bob.

Bahston Beans said...

Gustados are great
Stop and Shop's imitation
but they were recalled

Seriously I think they may have been recalled but only for an “undeclared soy protein isolate”. I’m not sure if they’re back on the shelf yet but they’re awesome.

jed-laura said...

Counting sylables
is not my forte at all
haikus are the worst


Jess said...

I suck at haiku
And I hate to indulge you
But I like to win

Anonymous said...

I am hungry
So I will eat pizza
there, thats better.

stephanie said...

I love you
you are the best
you are funny

Unknown said...

You are pretty
more than I can describe
you are beautiful

Anonymous said...

Wasting time at work
So much more fun with your blog
Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

James and Sophia
They took a bath together
Splash, spit, scream, laugh, play.

chattypatra said...

Winter is hiding in Texas
Teasing with its breezy airs
Stay away, for all I care!

MK said...

We're having pork chops
for supper Not as tasty
as cheese Doritos

P.O.M. said...

Fart jokes are funny.
Poop stories are even better.
Amy tells them all.

You make us all laugh
A trophy you should receive
Blog On Mormon Friend

Katy and Joseph said...

Amy runs and toots
Her stealth toot was in fact LOUD
Poor man behind her!

Michelle Glauser said...

I have much to do
But I would rather read blogs
and eat some chocolate

mommymelb said...

What the heck's a haiku?
Are the words supposed to rhyme?
Am I doing this wrong?

Anonymous said...

Mormon potty mouth,
Mothers who know (and can smell)
James has poopy pants.

BOSSY said...

Love your great haikus
Though they make one crave pork chops
Oh well - soup again.

Grandma said...

Thank you to dear Beth
James likes to play in the tub
Mom won't allow it!

jjstringham said...

I want to win prize
Perhaps a Doritos bag
Preferred not empty.

The Slacker Mom said...

I don't want to cook
Krispy Kremes for dinner
Pork chops tomorrow

J.C. Montgomery said...

Laundry really sucks
As well as doing dishes
A maid I am not

So I'll read your blog
Hoping the clean fairy comes
Aren't fantasies cool!

chattypatra said...

Knocked out by the smell
Have you taken a bath yet?
Let's wipe off the Doritos.

chattypatra said...

Walgreens almost killed my Dad
I can't help it, I'm so mad!
Read my blog to see what's what.

Topher said...

Amy's cool so cool
That Julie Beck RS pres
Haikus on her blog

(is that THE Julie Beck, as in General RS President?)

I am a runner
I am also a Mormon
Amy's funnier

Amy said...

Topher...that Julie Beck comment was just brought to my attention. I really have no idea if it's the real her or not.

Leave it to me to not recognize the name!

Do you think that I was really called a Mormon potty mouth by THE Julie Beck?! That would

Grandma said...

The Lawson Family Bodily Function Haiku-based on recent posts

Amy's full of gas
oh no- James pooped in his pants
and Dad's got to pee!!!!

Topher said...

That'd be flippin'
Awesome if it was THE one
Next Conference talk'll tell

(next time "MollyMo" brings a centerpiece to RS, you can say "Oh yeah? Well Sr. Beck called me a Mormon Pottymouth! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!"

Can't wait to read Vanilla's haiku. Can't decide who's funnier between the two of you. Maybe you should have a blog-off to find out.

Anonymous said...

My college friend Ann
sat on my Doritos' bag
Where's my Sonic shake?

(sorry, that was a repressed college memory and long story! - feel free to analyze and use it as you see fit)

Anonymous said...

lololol....thanks for the birthday shout-out Amy! :) I actually enjoyed a glass of pinot grigio...hope the substitution was okay. :)

Anonymous said...

Haikus make headaches
I've been counting for an hour
I deserve a prize

Anonymous said...

Failed haikus in school
Scott Hanson was in my class
His Wranglers fit tight

Charlotte said...

Run on the treadmill.
Fart like a howler monkey.
Bring joy to the world.

TheOneTrueSue said...

Working it doth suck
May you have fast internet
And a private desk

Unknown said...

Farting is so cool
But never eat yellow snow
It is bad for you

Marathon Maritza said...

Oh James, with your 'fro
The perfect Richard Simmons
In hand-sewn hot pants

Anonymous said...

YO, amy does rock
she is the coolierest
she is so pottiesh

Anonymous said...

I have a rumbly
in my large spacious tumbly
i want some hunny

Anonymous said...

I vote for amy's manly man haiku.

Anonymous said...

I drinkie wine
From great Sonoma V
I likey yes

Ok, so I'm too late and I don't know anything about haikus.