April 4, 2011
Lately I've been seeing the same three letters all over the internet, and up until three days ago, I had no idea what they meant. The letters? FML.Honestly, when I see the letters FManything, I automatically assume it means For More Somethingorother. So this FML thing? I just couldn't figure it out...
For more love? No, no.
For more leisure? Man I'm an idiot.
So finally, after three-dozen completely stupid stabs at the whole FML thing, I decided to ask for Google's help.
Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Well that's
what it means.
Ten or so minutes after my FML discovery, I really started to ponder the term. "Man," I thought, "who would write that?" And, "I think I'm really grateful for my life. No, actually, I LOVE my life! I would never
write those three letters!"
And then Saturday happened. A day that can only be summed up by a certain three letters. F to the M to the L.
I swear, if I could do it all over again, my daughter wouldn't be plain old Maggie Lawson--she'd be Farrah Maggie Lawson, or Fern Maggie Lawson, or Fanny Maggie Lawson. Are you catching on here?
(But holy crapness, how cute is she?)
(So cute it makes me want to pass gas.)
As you can clearly gather from those pictures, Maggie loves to color. Actually, it's more like this: Maggie LOVES TO COLOR!
Which is funny, because James would rather walk ten miles with a burning cigarette in his shoe that color for four minutes. Their personalities are so extremely different, but I'm almost 97% sure that they have the same father. Isn't it crazy how that works?
Before I move on, here's another smidge of proof that Maggie LOVES TO COLOR!!!!!!!
(Holy stinkin' cuteness overload!)
Okay, so just to review, by this point you should know two things:
1) Maggie loves to color, and
2) Maggie has a cute problem.
On Saturday morning, I walked into the living room, and to my horror, I found Maggie coloring all over the middle couch cushion....WITH LIPSTICK!!!!! Not only do I not use lipstick ever (it came from one of those damn-freaking Clinique free gift bags), but my parents just gave us that couch three years ago, after they used it for ten years and got sick of it, and I happen to think it's very nice, probably the nicest piece of furniture we own--you know, in a plaid kind of way.
I immediately ran to my computer, searched for something to the tune of HOW IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET RID OF LIPSTICK ON MY COUCH? I TOTALLY SUCK AT LAUNDRY!, and moved into action. I peeled the cover off of the cushion, doused it with goo gone, and carried the whole wet mess down to the laundry room.
I flipped up the lid to the washing machine (because I probably won't get a front loader until my parents get one, use it for ten years, get sick of it, and give it to us), and noticed washing directions for all kinds of stains. Believe it or not, there was even special directions for how to launder items that were soiled with cosmetics. Turns out, you should wash those kinds of things on hot.
So I did. I washed the cover to my couch cushion on hot.
Enter the three letters I sincerely hate to love: FML.
That's right, I took that lipstick covered couch cushion cover, and I shrunk the hell out of it. Actually, I shrunk that cover so good, that I haven't been able to squeeze it back on to the cushion. Hopefully no one will notice the difference. Honestly, is it obvious?