March 3, 2008
Question of the day: Which of these scenarios is the worst?
A. Being cornered by a small mob of fire-spitting, venom-breathing, angry townspeople all asking questions that you don't have the slightest idea how to answer.
or
B. Hearing the intimate details of your 61-year-old coworker's vasectomy including, but not limited to: the surgical process, swelling, discoloration, and level of satisfaction with the ultimate result. Unfortunately, the presentation included a great deal of pointing and a hand-drawn diagram.
or
C. The inability to fasten your fat pants without losing a button.
No question in my mind, I'm voting for scenario B. It's rare that I lose my appetite, but today my friends, my desire to eat is nowhere to be found. Hopefully it will help with situation C.
So go ahead and cast your vote in the comments. I'm anxious to know if we're all in agreement on this one.
19 comments:
Oh, B! I've been privy to one of my brother-in-law's similar presentations, but he NEEDED to share that he had more blood vessels and OTHER kinds of vessels than any other vasectomy patient EVER.
Lots of swelling, discoloration, and gagging (that last one was me).
Yeah, I don't even want to know about my husband's soon-to-be vasectomy, except for knowing it's done and over with and no more kids will be forthcoming! That's enough information, and does a 61 year old really need a vasectomy? Gross!!
Although the angry mob may have me running scared too...
I say A because it's the hardest to ignore. By the way, why did he wait until he was 61 to get a vasectomy?! Seems odd...
Eewww...I wasn't even there for the visuals described in option B, but damn if I didn't just put my bag of Doritos back in the cupboard. Gag, gag, cough...
Oh I could handle B without gagging. I've had a 50-something year-old send me an otherwise discreet photo of his purple groin.. the very bruised site of a catheter insertion used for placing a stent in his heart - post heart attack. It was NOT a pretty site. I can handle anything after that. ;)
Definitely option B.
I wish I saw that before I ate a gigantic burrito.
I'm going with C.
oh
my
gosh
B.
ForTheLoveOfG-dB.
now, have you seen the new adventures of old christine?
I think youre living her life.
Carla
Eww... gross! Definitely B! If it really involved illustrations, that could be considered sexual harrassment. At least it goes WAY beyond the bounds of polite conversation.
B fo sho!!!!!!!
B.
I live with C on a daily basis, and A would give me good whining rights.
Well, yeah, C - that's just called Monday.
Seriously, I'm going to start teaching a webinar for business called "Appropriate Boundaries and How To Know When You've Crossed Over."
Yeeeeeeeeeeesh.
Eewww. Nast. Definitely B.
Which leads us to, why in the Free World was he describing his vasectomy in such detail to you.
Was he hoping you'd say, "Ooo, baby, let's try that bad boy OUT."
Or is he just chatty and weird...and in need of a muzzle?
A picture? Hand drawn?
GROOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSS
I say C... because I have no problem saying "I haven't a clue" and after 15 years of marriage and a gazillion kids running thru my house I can tune anything out while um-huh'ing and nodding in all the appropriate places. And as far as a 61 year old needing a vasectomy...I wouldn't want anymore kids at that age but I sure as heck hope the sex is still there (hence, the reason for C) :)
ummm. EW. B definitely
B, definately B. But C is a close second.
B for sure.
I do, however, have a suggestion.
The next time you have an angry mob approach you, and you can't answer their questions, tell them that your co worker can help them, and then tell him that these people just dying to hear about his vasectomy........
Two birds with one stone.
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