The Holiday Aftermath

January 6, 2008

I was really proud of myself last year--after all, I paid for all of my Christmas presents with cash.

The GeoTrax? Cash.

The shotgun? Cash.

The bread machine? Cay-ash.

Every time the woman at TJ Maxx would so thoughtfully ask, "Would you like to save 10% off your purchase today?" I'd interrupt her right there, and snicker as I pulled the cash out of my coat pocket. "Um, no," I'd reply with all of the attitude I could muster. "I'm using cash." Then I'd entertain an overly snarky thought about all of those half-brained raving lunatics who charge all of their Christmas crap.

Hoo boy, I was feeling pretty darn good.

And then I opened my credit card statement.

And suffered from a mild heart attack as I spit the phrase, "OH SH**!" right out of my soft and innocent lips. Oh, and it was the real word, not some cheap imitation.

James cocked his head in my direction, and over a table full of PlayDoh (purchased with cash I might add), he curiously repeated my explanation, "Sh**? Is dat what you said, Mommy?"

"Yup. That's right. Sh**."

I generally restrict my credit card use to three purposes...1) It automatically pays our phone bills, 2) It pays for my website at work, and 3) I use it for emergencies.

Well, apparently I had EIGHT HUNDRED AND THIRTY SIX DOLLARS worth of emergencies during the month of December and now Bank of America is asking me to pay it all back with interest (those heartless beasts).

In sifting through the transactions on my statement, I quickly came to notice that the bulk of my "emergencies" occurred at the Blue Canoe gas station and Shaw's Supermarket. I also had an emergency when Happy Town Fuel topped off our tank with kerosene, and another one at my local garage.

As a result of that fine story, my financial tip of the day is as follows: If you use all of your grocery money to buy Christmas presents, you'll probably still get hungry and want to eat something later that day. And I don't care how innovative you are, it's almost impossible to commute to work on a GeoTrax train.

So plan ahead, people. The last thing the world needs is a bunch of toddlers running around, saying the word sh** over and over and over again.

8 comments:

TheOneTrueSue said...

My children think "Oh my gosh" is swearing, because I told them to stop saying it, because Grandma thought they were saying something ELSE, if you know what I'm saying. But they have no idea that there's anything wrong with DAMMIT. As far as they know, that thars church talk.

Hilarious post.

Sarah said...

Right there with ya, sister.

Brandon Harshe said...

Don't feel bad. January took Tatum to Marley and Me the other day, a PG movie. Now Tatum quotes one line from that movie all the time:

"There's a naked girl on my bed."

I don't think January can tell me that Kung Fu Panda is too much for the kids anymore. Oh, that's PG, too.

wendy said...

You got that right sista------I remember right after my divorce (ah, 15 years ago) I never ever had a credit card. X-o controlled all the money. Well, cool I thought, I'll get me a credit card to which I proceeded to make good use of. Then I got my "statement" Sheeesh or SH_)#*%&^&. They had the nerve to tell me I had a minimum payment - crap I thought I could just put 10 or 20 dollars each month and they would be happy. Greedy buggars.

Anonymous said...
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Harshes said...

Totally sucks! I am paying off my credit cards now. I HATE IT!

It was good talking to you! I miss you lots. You are one of those people that make me feel better being me and being alive when I talk to you! Love you!

Oh, I made the 'big announcment' on my blog today! Yikes!

Oh my gosh. LOL, LOL! Brandon, you sucks b@lls! You aren't supposed to tell anyone about that! Ugh!

Grandma said...

You were on the road so much...no wonder!!

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