Sneezing my Logic Out

April 21, 2009

I've been run down with a pretty nasty cold for the last couple of days, and I'm not gonna mince words here--it really kind of blows. I'm not totally sure where I picked up this little gem, but if I had to give it my best guess, I would say it has something to do with the circus that James and I attended last Friday.

You know, like the Universe said to me, "Amy. Are you really gonna pay money to take your innocent child to an event that objectifies animals, sells nutritionally deficient snacks, and puts ladies in outfits that almost reveal their ta-tas?"

And I was like, "Yes. Yes I am."

So the universe was all, "Fine. Then have fun and let me dump two quarts of snot into your head."

Honestly, that's how I think I caught this thing.

When it comes to being sick, of course there are the typical aspects that I certainly don't appreciate--you know, runny nose, gunky throat, watery eyes, and a head that I can't seem to lift off of my desk. But do you know what I hate the most? Really, do you wanna know? It's most definitely the insanely stressful dreams. And yes, I'm well aware that I might be the only person on this great green earth who deals with this particular symptom.

Last night for example, I dreamt that my 87-year neighbor asked me to bring her to free-day at Disney World. Obviously it was packed, and my neighbor--bless her soul--refused to sit in a wheel chair. As soon as we got into the park, my neighbor let me know that she really had to use the bathroom, so we shuffled and shuffled and shuffled around until we finally found a bathroom. With a two hour wait. And then, THEN, when it was finally our turn, I realized that this particular restroom was completely lacking toilets. I had to pee into a 2-liter 7-UP bottle, and my elderly neighbor--seriously, bless her heart--was expected to pee into a metal Juicy-Juice can with those tiny little triangle openings.

Can you get any more stressful than that? Obviously, I woke up panting, in a cold, hard sweat.

When I finally settled back down and fell back to sleep, I was plagued with another terribly stressful dream. This time I needed to buy an airline ticket, but of course, every time I tried to make my way to or or even, my hands turned all jelloish and I completely forgot how to type. Since my hands didn't work well enough to drive, I hopped on my bike and rode 75 miles down the highway--with no hands--and bought my ticket directly from the agent at the counter. For $613. And it was only one way. And I bought it for the wrong destination.

More cold sweat.

Then there was the dream about the single college-aged girl who moved into my house, changed the locks, furnished the entire place with plastic Ikea furniture, and successfully convinced me that I was the crazy one.

And the dream that my mother disowned me for spending $100 on a pair of jeans.

And the other dream where Jared left me to live underwater.

Lots of cold sweat.

So honestly, am I the only one in the house who has this crazy symptom? Anyone else out there? Anyone else?


Michelle Glauser said...

Holy cow, I'd never made that connectıon before, but I've also been havıng craaazy dreams here ın Turkey. Maybe ıt's the food, maybe ıt's the crazy language, but maybe you're rıght and ıt's my ınsanely bad allergıes at the moment. My frıend even stopped sayıng "Bless you" because she says ıt's poıntless now. I couldn't sleep very deeply last nıght because all my dreams were about thıngs that worrıed me. Anyway, merhaba. Or however they spell ıt.

Hurricanehol said...

There are a lot of numbers in your dreams last the lotto...

Grandma said...

Only you would go to Disney in a dream, but instead of the teacup ride spinning out of control or seeing Goofy have a wardrobe dream about peeing into a can?

jed-laura said...


I think I have this symptom too. I wish I didn't.

My crazy dreams often take on a little more life-threatening sense though. I've been escaping a bear after a mauling, going to disneyland only to find out that the whole park is demonized and they are all trying to kill me (including the rides themselves), and my latest scary dream was one where my family was homeless millionaires, but the only reason we couldn't buy a home was because all the ATM's and banks were blown up.

Yeah, I think the allergies cause me to have disconcerting dreams.

Lauren said...

I don't know that I've ever seen anything about peeing into church key openings in juice cans in a dream meaning book. You might be on your own for this one. I'm guessing it means you took too much Nyquil, but I'm not an expert.

Mom to 3 C's said...

YES! YES! YES! Whenever I am sick, I have very disturbing dreams. Mostly they're not as coherent as yours... I can't truly remember them, I just wake up over and over knowing I had a very disrupted sleep. Sorry to hear you suffer from this weird symptom too. Maybe an MD lurks on your blog and can give us a solution.

Heather of the EO said...

Maybe it's because you're so knocked out from the sickies that you dream more and longer and it just keeps getting crazier?

I do this every night, whether I have a cold or not. What does that say about me? I drove off a cliff (again) last night, trying to avoid hitting a family of deer. There I went, plunging into the water below. There were old people in my car with me and I felt really bad that I was killing them. I also tried to call Ryan while say goodbye.

Cold sweat.

lauridawn said...

Count me in. It happened more frequently when I was younger, but a night spent being ill always included a couple of the same three or four recurring dreams . . . oatmeal filling rooms, a witch kicking me way high up in the air and falling, and yes, maybe you can explain this one to me - a cabbage monster terrorizing everyone in my church building.

Unknown said...

Good stuff. . . Maybe your dreams are more about stress--and the stress of being sick. . . since it seems to be stressful situations that permeate your dreamworld. And nothing says stress to me like when my husband leaves me to live underwater.

I've never dreamed about taking care of old people before either. . . but that sounds pretty stressful too.

I really love your blog.

Lynn C Mama to 3 said...

What i want to know is where does that snot come from? When you don't have a cold (circus or not), where does it live before it starts pouring out of you like niagara falls?

Unknown said...

I am glad that I am not the only that has dreams like that. But mine are like that all the time. Like I dream that I am a viking warrior, how crazy is that.
So I feel like writing, long time reader first time commenter, like when people are on the radio, long time listener first time caller. I know stupid. But I like it.

Jen R. said...

I only have crazy dreams when I'm pregnant. And they are intense.

Amy said...

I've always assumed that all the snot is actually my brain melting and running out my nose and down my throat. That's why I get dumber every time I get sick. Also, I've had a cold the entire time I've had a nursery calling. Coincidence? I think not.

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