Half Marathon Race Report

March 29, 2010

This past weekend, my friend Kim and I decided to run a half. No, not a half-mile, a half-marathon.

For all you non-runners out there, that equals 13.1 miles--not a bowdownandworshipme distance, but nothing to sneeze at either. It's kind of like being the student council treasurer instead of the student council president....or the school mascot instead of the school cheerleader....or a chiropractor instead of a medical doctor.

Kidding. Kidding! Jared, sweet husband, I swear I was only kidding. I'd rather have an endless supply of back cracks than an endless supply of prescription narcotics any day of the week. (And just like that I've moved from innocent joking to blatant lying...funny how that happens.)

Anyhoo, Kim is married to our Branch President--the equivalent of a pastor for all my Protestant and Catholic friends out there--and for some reason, the fact that the Branch President's wife skipped church to run a race made the entire experience that much better.

Kim and I met in a grocery store parking lot at 6am, we loaded into my station wagon (because we're hot), and headed south. I spent the greater part of the two-hour drive hydrating, and after coming perilously close to whizzing in m'britches two times, we arrived at the starting area.

And that was the moment when we put two and two together--it was March, in New England, thirty degrees outside, winds of twenty-something miles per hour, and we were paying forty bucks a pop to run thirteen miles right next to the open ocean.

What. The. Hell.

I was like, "Hey Kim? Never repeat this, but I think I'd rather be at church."

She was speechless.

Here we are, hiding from the wind, waiting for the race to start:
You know what I love about that picture? I love that fact that Kim's iPod is bigger than my vest. Clearly I purchased that vest in 2003--two years before I came to realize the joy (and abdominal disfiguration) that comes along with motherhood.

Now, I will recap the race in four brief statements:

1) Five feet into the race I tripped over a florescent orange traffic cone.

2) Four miles into the race I had no idea how I was doing since there were no mile markers along the course. Ten miles into the race I still had no idea how I was doing because, right-o, still no mile markers.

And the volunteers (bless their generous, supportive hearts) weren't much of a help. I'd be like, "Where are we?" And they were all, "Hampton Beach!!!! Isn't it beautiful?!?! Yay!!!! Run!!!!!"

Enthusiastic? Absolutely. Helpful? In their own way, I suppose they were.

3) I would describe this race as very windy, super windy, oh-so-windy, and unbefreakinglievably windy. A phrase like "really stinking windy" might also be suitable.

4) I went into the race with the goal of running 1:50 or under. I ran 1:49.59. If that isn't trophy worthy, then what the heck is?

Here I am after the race:
I'm quite obviously thinking about the Wendy's Baconator and Coca Cola Classic. After all, bacon, cheese, and sugar are the top three reasons I run.

Heart health is number four.


Jes said...

Awesome job! Hope you are doing fantastic!

Hildie said...

Looking at that last picture I can see where James gets his fine smile.

Good job on the race. If it's less than 40ยบ I won't even get the mail.

Mindy said...

I LOVE this race report... it's laugh out loud funny. I'm super impressed with your time, as I have accomplished the same feat. (Well, my goal was under 2:00 and i did it in 1:59:54, so yes, I'm not AS cool as you, but almost. ;) Anyway... I think you did awesome, especially considering the wind.

Keli said...

You're so awesome. And yet, here I sit with my Utah Truffle and Sonic Chiller wondering why I don't like to run. Hmm. I may never know.

And I sort of feel bad for you tripping over that cone. It's hard to recover from that. ;)

Morgan Hagey said...

Way to go! I keep thinking now that my back is better, and I have fancy new running shoes I ought to get my butt in gear... you are motivating! :)

Karen said...

OMG! Your race is the one my co-worker was bitching about this morning! She lives in North Hampton and described waiting "15-freakin minutes" for a bunch of runner to go by! LOL!

saundra said...

Another fine post! Great job Amy! You are so my hero for convincing the pastor's wife to skip church!

Grandma said...

great job Amy and Kim! "Hampton Beach...isn't it beautiful?" no WHERE are we on the course people?!!!!

Kim said...

That is hilarious! It was quite an experience. So, still sore I was on the computer yesterday looking for more races! What is Wrong with me!! I crossed the finish line Sunday and told myself I would never do that again! Of course I said that after giving birth to each one of my children too. It was fun and the best part was eating a double 1/4lb with cheese and NOT feeling the least bit guilty about it!

funderson said...

Best race report ever! Nice time too, Speedy. If you're going to NOT keep the Sabbath holy you might as well do it right. Although, I'm one to think running holy in the highest. Baconater, maybe not so much...

BrianFlash said...

Nice! Sub 1:50 in pretty much crappy conditions is something that deserves a bacon burger.

Pam @ herbieontherun.com said...

It's no wonder you're my hero! All in one post, you skipped church, you belittled your husband, you almost wet yourself, AND you tripped over a cone! I thought only I was clutzy enough to do something like that!

Oh yeah, and then there's that whole running thing.

Great race report!!! It literally had me LOLing! :D

NY wolve said...

So you are saying it was windy>?]]?

Katy Shamitz said...

Nice race Amy... but why are you hating on mascots?!?!?!?!?!

Kirsty said...

That's freaking fantastic! Congrats!! I feel beat up just reading about all that wind!

wendy said...

I LOVE it that the Branch Pres. wife went running on Sunday.
I too lived in small enough areas where there were Branch Pres.

I hate the WIND!!!
but I guess the double cheesburger at the end could be worth it

and you were SMILING???

Heather said...

Dude!! SO awesome! Yay YOU!!

(Heather from RUN HL RUN)

Mel said...

I'm pretty sure a half marathon IS bow down and worship you length. I would be eaten by a zombie if I had to run that far even if it was SLOOOWLY with that zombie behind me.

Someday I hope to WALK that long without falling over dead and still have enough energy to even get to Wendy's for that tasty baconator

Bev said...

Hi Amy, I love your blog and have been a blog stalker for quite a while now. I just have to tell you that my little brother just left for a mission and is serving in the Everett WA mission and low and behold his first companion is Elder Lawson from Maine!! I got such a kick out of it! Although we don't know each other personally, I have loved reading your blog and still get the "small world" feeling. Keep up the entertainment. P.S. Your kids are adorable. I too have a curly headed little guy who actually dressed up as Richard Simmons for Halloween last year! Ok, I'm starting to sound totally creepy so will stop writing. Just thought I would say hello and that my little brother, Elder Woodard is loving having your bro in law as his first companion!

Amy said...

Bev! That's crazy!!!!! SOOO cool! I think I'll send Elder Woodward a package and not Elder Lawson...you know, just to mix things up.

P.O.M. said...

That is a great time. I didn't even know you were running again. You rock missy.